LucyLucyAppleJuicy wrote: ↑Mon Dec 28, 2020 5:15 am
spicy_dreams wrote: ↑Sun Dec 27, 2020 2:25 pm
LucyLucyAppleJuicy wrote: ↑Sun Dec 27, 2020 9:21 am
She really is, I pity any child that is being raised in this toxic environment by these two nut jobs and their unpaid childcare. I do wonder if the girl’s birth mums see how ridiculous they are and regret choosing them...
Oh god, what an awful thought, I hadn't even considered that. Imagine being able to watch your biological child and their adoptive family on fucking YouTube, and realising you made a mistake. Holy shit.
I think of them a lot. I wonder how things could be different for them especially if ‘Christian’ couples did something like sponsoring a mother so she can raise her baby, rather than adopting the child then exploiting it on social media. (I put Christian in inverted commas as the Jesus I was taught about would not recognise his teachings in the behaviour of people like Phil and Alex). For example, Callie’s birth mother was clearly having second thoughts. I know it’s not always an economic decision, but sometimes it is.
I agree completely. It's especially dodgy when these "Christian" couples ONLY want to adopt newborns, or a certain gender/race. If you really wanted to do some good and be totally selfless, why not adopt an older child. It's well known that there is an abundance of them because everybody wants babies, and the older a child gets the less likely they are to be adopted. That would be the "godly" thing to do, if that's what's really important to you.
Or if that's just what's important to you regardless of any religious beliefs.
Reminds me of that YouTube family, can't remember the name. The infamous ones who adopted that sweet Chinese boy with autism and then "rehomed" him when it got hard, even though they were given plenty of warning. Aren't Phil and Alex friends with that couple, too? Anyway they went on and on about God and specifically went to China and picked a baby with "issues" so that they could appear more generous and selfless.
Also there's this Instagram page, nowhitesaviours. They speak out against white people doing dumb shit like going on these missionary trips to Africa to take photos with black kids and visit impoverished communities, to practice white saviorism without actually doing research and investing in ways that will actually empower the communities to become stronger from the inside out. These white folks just rush in for the photo ops and so they can say "look I went and helped these poorrrr black people, I'm basically a white lady Jesus."
Anyway, they also speak about white people specially seeking out non white babies to adopt. They talk about these issues better than I can, but the general idea is that none of these communities want rich white people to come and take their babies away, if anything they want the power, knowledge and freedom to take care of each other and keep families intact. Often things are lost in translation or not explained properly, and mothers aren't aware that they're losing their babies forever if they give them up for adoption, it's not an informed decision. Sometimes they think that somebody is going to look after the baby just until the mother is capable of properly caring for them.
I'm not saying that's what's happened with Phil and Alex exactly. Just that I do think it's interesting how sometimes (mostly in the case of poverty) the best path is actually to help mothers care for their babies and save the trauma and regret of separation. What you think is best (adopting from birth and raising the baby as your own) isn't always best. Sure sometimes mother's really don't want to raise their own children, and that's okay, they shouldn't be forced to. But it can cause lifelong damage if a mother is forced to give up a baby she would raise herself if she had the means. And it can be difficult for the kids as they get older too.
Just because somebody is privileged doesn't mean they're the best people to raise a child. Maybe a better way to use their privilege would be to help support and empower families to be self sufficient.
It's especially frustrating because Phil and Alex are actually capable of having biological children. They didn't have to adopt, they just didn't want to wait. If they did have to adopt, they didn't have to only find pregnant women. If you're adopting and you find yourself saying "I want this, I want that", maybe question who you are doing this for. Certain things I could understand, like not wanting to take in a child whose needs you cannot possibly meet. But if you're only wanting newborns, it seems like this is more about your experience and expectations and less about actually helping a child in need. Chances are there's a whole list of people who'd want that baby. If you want to actually be compassionate, wouldn't you want to put your own wants aside and think of children who spend their days hoping some stranger will come along and be kind enough to call you family?
I've never adopted, I'm not adopted, I don't even have my own children. So I really don't know what the right answer is here. I know it's complicated, and maybe I shouldn't speak on it at all. Please feel free to disregard, or disagree with me, I don't mind being wrong.
