Got any bad parent moments?

[old_soul_here]

I think I should seriously have my parenting license revoked.
Told my two year old son today that the noise the coffee grinder was making was due to the dinosaur bones in there. Yes, I did go back and explain it was just coffee beans when I finished laughing.
Then in our shower this afternoon, we don't have a bath in our new house and the shower gets water everywhere if you try to shower him with the door open. But I digress,in the shower this afternoon, same two year old asks when Mummy's penis is, I deadpan "It fell off Bubba," He just looked at me, and went "Daddy says it's cause you're a girl," Whoops! Caught out!
And my final bad parenting moment for the week (Friday evening in my country) "Bubba you need to wear shoes, the zombies will eat your toes if you don't,"

Anyone got any to share? I can't be the only bad parent out there.

[thegooseiscooked]

I once told my my kids that a monster called Mr Sucko lived in the drain in the bath and would eat their fingers if they stuck them down there. They were both terrified of the bath for frigging years and my daughter still won't sit down the drain end. Bad mummy points.

[old_soul_here]

I once told my my kids that a monster called Mr Sucko lived in the drain in the bath and would eat their fingers if they stuck them down there. They were both terrified of the bath for frigging years and my daughter still won't sit down the drain end. Bad mummy points.

That made me laugh, so not to worry. My partner was horrifed that I had tried to convince mr2 that my penis had fallen off. But Mr2's birth dad thought it was hilarious.
A friend just had a girl, and she already had a boy just a little older than mr2. So her Toddler boy was taking a lot of interest int he newborn girl at changing time, and used baby sign language to ask where her penis was. Was apparently horrified to learn Ms0 didn't have one

[Chevbowlyn]

When my son was a little over 2 years old, my husband got a soccer ball to play with him. Well my husband and I started kicking it to each other. My son got in the way as I kicked it and it hit him in the face and knocked him over.

My three oldest sometimes don't like to eat, so we tell them if they don't eat, we will take them down to the basement so that the monster will eat them.

[blackbetty]

When my daughter pushes buttons on my phone or laptop I put them in lockmode immediately and tell her she broke it. =O Decreases the instances we have with her touching stuff =p

[MakeupGirly]

Not a parent, but I have a 7 year old sister. She had a rubber hand for Halloween that you wear on your own hand. I told her it was a real dead person's hand that they dried out. Believed me, I told her I was joking fairly swiftly

[FLOSSY77]

I told my kids two yrs. in a row that the helicopter flying above at The Fair (giving rides) was from the hospital saving people from the ferris wheel. That broke. And then I would usher them away, to low to the ground rides.

[whatsername_]

I love this thread! It's so funny, hahahaha

[subject99]

When my son gets to loud I tell him "shhhh the zombies will hear us we have to whisper" he then whisper "shhh mummy the zombies will get us ". Works every time hahaha.

[DigThePig]

Oh my, I have lots of stories -Bad mom award over here!

We have hidden security cameras all over our house, so when I need to keep an extra eye on my oldest (she is four) I turn them on and watch from my camera. If she starts doing something bad or dangerous I yell at her through the speaker. Once she asked me how I know what she is doing; I told her "Mom knows everything!"

so far she still believes me, even when we are not at home.

[thegooseiscooked]

I always told my kids that when the ice cream van comes around, if it's playing music it means they've run out of ice cream

[subject99]

Oh my, I have lots of stories -Bad mom award over here!

We have hidden security cameras all over our house, so when I need to keep an extra eye on my oldest (she is four) I turn them on and watch from my camera. If she starts doing something bad or dangerous I yell at her through the speaker. Once she asked me how I know what she is doing; I told her "Mom knows everything!"

so far she still believes me, even when we are not at home.

Lmfao omg that is brilliant.

[old_soul_here]

We have a family friend that ruined my girl name for us when I was early pregnant with Charles, the name was Emily.
We her kids were little (15, 18, 21, and 25 now) and they'd ask "whats for dinner?" She'd answer "Emily,"
"Whose Emily?"
"Your sister, we keep her in the freezer for when we get hungry,"
To Sue's credit, all the kids think this is perfectly hilarious as adults.

[whatsername_]

I'm sorry... But I'm not following that ^

[surferbunny]

We have a family friend that ruined my girl name for us when I was early pregnant with Charles, the name was Emily.
We her kids were little (15, 18, 21, and 25 now) and they'd ask "whats for dinner?" She'd answer "Emily,"
"Whose Emily?"
"Your sister, we keep her in the freezer for when we get hungry,"
To Sue's credit, all the kids think this is perfectly hilarious as adults.

wow that is creepy..

[thegooseiscooked]

We have a family friend that ruined my girl name for us when I was early pregnant with Charles, the name was Emily.
We her kids were little (15, 18, 21, and 25 now) and they'd ask "whats for dinner?" She'd answer "Emily,"
"Whose Emily?"
"Your sister, we keep her in the freezer for when we get hungry,"
To Sue's credit, all the kids think this is perfectly hilarious as adults.

Jesus.

[thegooseiscooked]

Well then I have a story for your mom. We have a beach house and every summer there is a carnival there. All year long, the frame for the Ferris Wheel sits there slowly rusting on the foreshore with all the salt from the water and wind and sand and storms. Come November, they give it a spit and polish, hang some carriages on it and charge people $5 a go. DEATH MACHINE. I've been on it once, never again.

[thegooseiscooked]

Oh. Lol, okay.