thegooseiscooked wrote:It's an interesting question. My husband gives me the shits all the time but boy oh boy has he done some wonderful things too. He is generous, loving, kind, sympathetic, he thinks I am the funniest and smartest person he's ever met and he works in a very high up position in the government. He has provided us with such a wonderful life. He is amazing.
Maybe he settled for me. It don't know. I'm not particularly ambitious. I always wanted to be a mum. I love being a mum. He could have married a professional woman with a career who could match him word for word in business talk, have political debates over the breakfast table. He gets frustrated that I never have my nose out of a novel (or this site lol). But he loves the way I've raised our kids, he loves that he comes home to a cooked dinner every night and a clean house. He doubles over laughing at my sarcastic commentary on life. He doesn't think I'm very good at ironing shirts.
It's an equal relationship. We each give in our own way. It's not perfect but it's pretty damn good. It works.
Settling is when one has to give more than the other. One person has a different view of what they want out of life but they just swallow that out of fear of being alone or just pure laziness. You don't have to be the same but you do have to have the same understanding of where you are going. Ashley is settling because Josh does not want the same things that she does. He doesn't give a shit about romance, fidelity, honesty etc. She does. He just wants to drink beer and watch porn. She wants a romance novel. They are on different playing fields. He's getting what he wants. She settled.
This is absolutely what I aim for in life.
If anyone should be jealous, Ashley should be seething over your life, Goosey. You're blessed.
As for settling - I agree with specialsnowflakebetty. Settling is one of those things where if they deserve each other, it's not really settling.
My mom always said, 'If two crazy people get together, it saves some other two poor people a hell of a lot of problems."
Ashley is settling because she believes the fact that they have a child together constitutes a marriage. She believes since he cheated, but came back, that he loves her and that it's meant to be.
I don't believe I settled for my fiance because I'm at a place in my life where if we didn't work out - even though I want us to more than you can imagine - I wouldn't stop living. My world would stop for sure, for a little while, but I am completely comfortable with being alone.
He doesn't feel that way, and was upset when we talked about it.
If anything were to happen to him or I, it would be awful and traumatic, but we would carry on.
Maybe it's because we're 20 and 21, but I wouldn't expect him to not find someone else if I were to die or vice versa.
Settling is when you let desperation take over, and when you AREN'T comfortable being alone.
