18 year old friend is trying to get pregnant...

[Scotchmallow]

So me and my best friend lost touch for a few months after we graduated high school. When we started hanging out again, she told me she was dating this guy in the army and that they were thinking about getting engaged. She definitely made it sound like she wanted a long engagement. So this guy was home for a few weeks during the holidays and the next thing I know they got married. She has gone to visit him overseas a couple of times since then(normally for about a month). A few days ago me and her were hanging out and she tells me that they are trying to have a baby. She does this type of thing with every relationship she has ever been in. She always believes that relationship is perfect and they are soulmates and going to last forever. The only difference is that now she is 18 and thinks she can do whatever she wants. I don't want to tell her that she is acting stupid because honestly it won't help anything and it will just make her mad. I know I won't be able to change her mind about anything, but does anyone have any advice for how I should handle this situation.

[blackbetty]

Honestly, your only options are to hold your tongue or piss her off.

I'm more of the piss her off type, I feel like a true friend will call you on your shit even though they know you won't like it.

You don't have to be like, "hey girl, you're an idiot." Maybe try to approach it like, "hey, I know you're really excited about this and this is what you want but I really think you need to slow it down. I know you're married and everything is great now, but you barely know each other and a baby changes you a lot. Once you have that baby, you're forced to deal with him for at least 18 years and you owe it to your child to bring it into the best possible situation. If you guys are going to live happily ever after no matter what, you don't need to rush into having a child right now and you will be in a better position to raise one in a few years. Focus on being married and having fun together as a couple now and working on your careers and you will still get your baby when the timing is better. Just slow down." Etc.

She will be mad, but as long you say it in a kind way, she will probably get over it. Probably won't listen, but if you end up being right at least she'll realize later that you had good intentions and maybe next time she'll give your advice a little more thought. Hope it helps.

Sincerely, a mom who got pregnant at 18 (he's now 10 =O )