Is this positive?!

[Sapphire]

You might think I'm an idiot because there's two lines, but what I'm assuming is the result line is way darker than the control line... Is the test defective or am I pregnant?

[maplecross]

Preggo!
Congratsss!

[EleanorRigby]

Yes it is!

[mommaof2cuties]

Posssssiiiiiittttiiiivvveeee

[MamaJoAnna]

Definitely positive! Congrats!

[dfwmom]

Positive! Congratulations!

[zipadeedodah]

It's a very...very faint positive! yay!!

[snarkyblonde]

Definitely positive! That's what mine looked like at first! If you're unsure, you can buy a digital test to confirm. Congratulations!!

[Sapphire]

Sapphire, I've debated posting this because the reality is I do not know you personally but I have to be honest. I am willing to say what I think most of us are thinking but aren't sure if we should "go there". I am not about to run over here to tell you congratulations. It's not because I am not happy for you, it's because I am concerned.

I am worried for you and the future of this child. Are you stable enough to take care of a baby? Are you prepared to deal with the trials of pregnancy, especially given your history with loss? I don't want to bring up the past and "kill your buzz" but if I were you I would be a little more concerned and a little less excited. This is simply an outsider looking in, though.

You cannot deny that you have displayed erratic and concerning behaviour on this site more than once. The most recent erratic posts we have from you happened in February – that was only two short months ago. I commend you for getting the help you need, you seem to be improving and doing well now. However, I am afraid that this may cause a setback and if you are known for lashing out at people on an online forum, (insert other issues here), etc. I can't imagine how this manifests itself in real life. I believe you have changed and are changing but sometimes old demons return at the most inconvenient times and they affect us more than we anticipate.

Please know that I do wish you the best, though.

- K

Thank you for being honest and I totally understand your concern.

I am and will definitely continue to work with my therapist very closely and continue to use all the other methods of help that I have been offered to ensure my baby's and my health.
All of the issues I dealt with came to light after my loss. I've always wanted a child and when I had a loss, I threw away any shred of hope, light, positivity, love, etc. While being pregnant now definitely doesn't bring back my angel baby, I do feel like I have a reason to treat myself with love, respect and care. I am going to therapy to learn to view myself as worthy even when I'm not pregnant because it's not fair to put my self worth on a baby. It's up to me to be healthy for this baby, it's not up to the baby to make me want to be healthy, if that makes sense?

I am excited and happy but I am also terrified. As far as the trials of pregnancy, I feel like with the help I have, as long as I keep up with it, I'll be okay. As far as taking care of a baby, while I do have issues with my mental health, I would never ever hurt a baby or anyone for that matter. My issues are all about learning to deal with my emotions in a productive and healthy way. Managing my depression and negative emotions in a healthy and productive manner instead of acting out or getting defensive. I have many insecurities which have come to light on here and I'm dealing with those closely. I'm not a violent person though nor am I negligent. I still manage to take care of what needs taking care of, except when it came to getting help though so that's been an issue.

I will continue to work with my therapist and use all of the methods of help that have been offered to me. I really am serious about getting better and being healthy and I feel like while having a baby is motivating in and of itself, I am also getting help because for the first time, I feel like I deserve to (this was before getting pregnant). I deserve to be okay and I deserve to be happy.
I am grateful that you have been honest with me and I do appreciate and understand your concern but I promise that I have no intentions of losing it again. I am getting help and doing things everyday to keep up. Therapy is every week and I have support groups twice a week. I made an appointment with a doctor to monitor the pregnancy, there are services nearby that will help and I am interested in taking parenting classes. I'm really serious about getting better for myself and for the baby. He or she deserves a healthy, stable, happy mother and I'm going to do whatever it takes.

[sadie]

Is sapphire still around?