Phil and Alex | Part 1
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Re: Phil and Alex
I don't understand why people have gofundme type accounts for adoption? I know it costs money, but that's your decision. It's like "Oh, I'm going to have a baby, so could you guys fund me please?"
Re: Phil and Alex
I don't mean this rude but I think that's better than many other gofundme accounts I've seen. They are wanting a chance to give a child a better life, and sometimes that can run 100,000 dollars to just adopt, even more.angelhollow wrote:I don't understand why people have gofundme type accounts for adoption? I know it costs money, but that's your decision. It's like "Oh, I'm going to have a baby, so could you guys fund me please?"
The alternative is the children remain in foster care (or whatever agency/country) grow up without a family, taking tax dollars (not complaining just stating a fact) are at risk for even more emotional issues . However with a good family (not just these 2) they are going to take over all those expenses once their adopted they just need help in bringing their family together.
What are appropriate gofundme request then? I'm curious because even things like surgeries can be seen as a personal decision. Yes I know they are medically necessary but not all are life saving some are just meant to make life easier and better (again not saying that's a problem) but isn't a chance at a great life a necessity too?
Anyway I watch a lot of adoptive families stories, but I've only recently found this family. Like a few of you said I like them but there is a sense over being overly dramatic.
Re: Phil and Alex
I don't mean this to sound disrespectful, but obviously from your post you don't really know much about adoption. Adoption costs no where near 100K to adopt. Foreign adoptions are the ones that cost the most and the country that tends to cost the most is about 30-40k on the high end. My sister adopted three children. The first one ran a bill of $25k. My niece biologically was the daughter of her brother and sister in law. Well some of my ex brother in law's family thought they'd get a lot of money coming in because she had some health issues so they thought she would be a payday for them. They didn't work and it was clear they didn't really want her. Her first foster mother fought for her too even though she was told she was just a temporary foster placement while my sister got the house ready for her and was licensed as a foster parent.tmarieme wrote:I don't mean this rude but I think that's better than many other gofundme accounts I've seen. They are wanting a chance to give a child a better life, and sometimes that can run 100,000 dollars to just adopt, even more.angelhollow wrote:I don't understand why people have gofundme type accounts for adoption? I know it costs money, but that's your decision. It's like "Oh, I'm going to have a baby, so could you guys fund me please?"
The alternative is the children remain in foster care (or whatever agency/country) grow up without a family, taking tax dollars (not complaining just stating a fact) are at risk for even more emotional issues . However with a good family (not just these 2) they are going to take over all those expenses once their adopted they just need help in bringing their family together.
What are appropriate gofundme request then? I'm curious because even things like surgeries can be seen as a personal decision. Yes I know they are medically necessary but not all are life saving some are just meant to make life easier and better (again not saying that's a problem) but isn't a chance at a great life a necessity too?
Anyway I watch a lot of adoptive families stories, but I've only recently found this family. Like a few of you said I like them but there is a sense over being overly dramatic.
The couple I mentioned above that adopted two sets of twins their adoption bill will be 18,000.
My whole point was that there are so many families out there waiting for children. They wait years. People think that every child in the foster care system is free for adoption. For instance, if a guy murders his wife and is sent to prison in some states he retains his parental rights and can have a say in where the children are raised. Sometimes if there isn't family available they go into the foster care system.
Many of these kids are given back to the parents (as was the case with my second niece that was adopted) until they mess up again and the kids are taken away. In some states the bio parents get three chances before parental rights are finally terminated.
The huge issue is it's so expensive. Even adopting from foster care is not always free. And many of these kids have really bad health or mental issues. We've been in and out since we started trying to grow our family. The first children we were shown were siblings who were 1 year apart and had such a serious health issue we were told they'd never be able to live independently. The 2 year old could only crawl, and couldn't walk yet. The 1 year old was just then learning to sit up. It fell through and they joined another family.
Then there's the reason why I don't always think adoptive families are saints. There was a couple in the running for these beautiful baby girls. Twins born on December 24. This couple who was also in the running with us had 4 adult sons, with wives who were all expecting at the time. They were both in their late 50s. They knew that both our children were born sleeping and that we'd been waiting years to become parents. They were about to be grandparents 4x over in the next 7 months and had known nothing but joy. Instead of being gracious and realizing that perhaps a young family with so much heartbreak they just thought of how great it would be to give in to their midlife crisis. The girls have nannies raising them.
So to answer your question about go fund me, I'd have to answer it in two sections because I did have issue with both. Both families did IVF if they can afford IVF NOW when their still going back and forth with the adoption processes then they should be able to afford the adoptions. It's like the college student who graduates you don't immediately drive a bmw and have a mansion.
And like I said Alex doesn't seem to have any sense of empathy as she brings both kids to her appointments. I can tell you from working with 3 infertility clinics they frown on small children going unless you bring them in another door out of respect for the other patients. I've seen her bring them to at least two appointments.
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Re: Phil and Alex
^TRUE. I'm like where are adoptions costing $100k+ ???? That really caught me off guard.
It's never bothered me in particular, but I've only seen one woman bring a 3yo child to an appt. That's out of 4 RE's we've been to. I cant imagine how difficult it must be seeing babies in an office on a day when you may get really shitty news at a tough appt, or after a (or multiple) failed IVF cycle(s).
It's never bothered me in particular, but I've only seen one woman bring a 3yo child to an appt. That's out of 4 RE's we've been to. I cant imagine how difficult it must be seeing babies in an office on a day when you may get really shitty news at a tough appt, or after a (or multiple) failed IVF cycle(s).
Re: Phil and Alex
I've seen where hiring a surrogate perhaps can be pretty pricey, I haven't priced them recently. I have had friends who've offered to do it for me. Some are judgemental about it but they haven't been through what I have and continue to go through. I don't like to dwell on it but it's hard to find peace when your hurting so much.
As far as the
100,000 just to adopt, even more seriously if you have no idea about adoptions (which is clear) don't comment as if you do.
As far as the
100,000 just to adopt, even more seriously if you have no idea about adoptions (which is clear) don't comment as if you do.
Re: Phil and Alex
I did say sometimes and that is true. My friend just adopted a family of 3 children and after everything was said and done cost over 100,000 dollars. She had a gofundme and she wasn't asking for anywhere near the full amount.
I'm sorry I spoke wrong, I shouldn't have exaggerated every case to the one like my friend.
My biggest point was that I think it's kinda unfair to say that people even for a 20k adoption, shouldn't start a gofundme.
I will agree on the IVF front, if they could afford that I do find it interesting they were looking for money for adoption.
Also just because I misspoke or didn't clarify what I mean doesn't mean I don't know anything about adoption. I'll make sure that if I ever to come across something where I am trying to make a point again that I clarify and fact check.
I'm sorry I spoke wrong, I shouldn't have exaggerated every case to the one like my friend.
My biggest point was that I think it's kinda unfair to say that people even for a 20k adoption, shouldn't start a gofundme.
I will agree on the IVF front, if they could afford that I do find it interesting they were looking for money for adoption.
Also just because I misspoke or didn't clarify what I mean doesn't mean I don't know anything about adoption. I'll make sure that if I ever to come across something where I am trying to make a point again that I clarify and fact check.
Re: Phil and Alex
I want to appologize for projecting onto you. That was wrong and I'm sorry.
The whole year is difficult for me. There are days where I can't get out of bed or accomplish much during the day. But the birthdays/due dates of my kids are just unbearable.
I'm not against people starting go fund me for adoption costs. However when they are doing IVF (as both families have done) during that period then I would think they can afford both. I would finalize the adoptions before I'd even think of doing IVF. The family with six kids had two different crowdfunding accounts for adoption. And had started and completed IVF before even completing the adoptions of the kids already in their care. To me that is not very responsible.
The father does the same thing my husband does for a living. There's enough room in our budget even with my 2 stepsons that we could afford to complete an adoption of 18K (the cost of the 4 children's adoptions) What to me was absurd was them stating they weren't requesting the full 18K amount but 3k less so they could pay a part themselves. It's a drop in the bucket. Kids just get more expensive as they get older (my stepson's tution was 60K a year) now with their ages there will be one year in the future where they will have to pay 6 college tutions. And they've stated they want to do IVF again.
Alex and phil's situation is a little differnt I believe they were in the process of IVF when they were approached to adopt their first child. I think a viewer suggested the go fund me for them but they don't mention it every video like some YouTube up and coming ones do. In that case I can see them doing that.
The whole year is difficult for me. There are days where I can't get out of bed or accomplish much during the day. But the birthdays/due dates of my kids are just unbearable.
I'm not against people starting go fund me for adoption costs. However when they are doing IVF (as both families have done) during that period then I would think they can afford both. I would finalize the adoptions before I'd even think of doing IVF. The family with six kids had two different crowdfunding accounts for adoption. And had started and completed IVF before even completing the adoptions of the kids already in their care. To me that is not very responsible.
The father does the same thing my husband does for a living. There's enough room in our budget even with my 2 stepsons that we could afford to complete an adoption of 18K (the cost of the 4 children's adoptions) What to me was absurd was them stating they weren't requesting the full 18K amount but 3k less so they could pay a part themselves. It's a drop in the bucket. Kids just get more expensive as they get older (my stepson's tution was 60K a year) now with their ages there will be one year in the future where they will have to pay 6 college tutions. And they've stated they want to do IVF again.
Alex and phil's situation is a little differnt I believe they were in the process of IVF when they were approached to adopt their first child. I think a viewer suggested the go fund me for them but they don't mention it every video like some YouTube up and coming ones do. In that case I can see them doing that.
Re: Phil and Alex
Sometimes conversations are hard to have over the internet because we can't read it the way people mean so I'm sorry too. Even with me and the amount had it been in a person I probably would have explained the situation. It's also a lot easier to take take things personal when you don't mean to make it that way Either way I do agree with what you're saying on the IVF. I've only watched a few of their videos. I only watch a few vloggars regularly, and while I love adoption stories I can't see me getting too into their lives. They seem nice enough but the overly dramatic thing without cause sometimes irks me.eab424 wrote:I want to appologize for projecting onto you. That was wrong and I'm sorry.
The whole year is difficult for me. There are days where I can't get out of bed or accomplish much during the day. But the birthdays/due dates of my kids are just unbearable.
I'm not against people starting go fund me for adoption costs. However when they are doing IVF (as both families have done) during that period then I would think they can afford both. I would finalize the adoptions before I'd even think of doing IVF. The family with six kids had two different crowdfunding accounts for adoption. And had started and completed IVF before even completing the adoptions of the kids already in their care. To me that is not very responsible.
The father does the same thing my husband does for a living. There's enough room in our budget even with my 2 stepsons that we could afford to complete an adoption of 18K (the cost of the 4 children's adoptions) What to me was absurd was them stating they weren't requesting the full 18K amount but 3k less so they could pay a part themselves. It's a drop in the bucket. Kids just get more expensive as they get older (my stepson's tution was 60K a year) now with their ages there will be one year in the future where they will have to pay 6 college tutions. And they've stated they want to do IVF again.
Alex and phil's situation is a little differnt I believe they were in the process of IVF when they were approached to adopt their first child. I think a viewer suggested the go fund me for them but they don't mention it every video like some YouTube up and coming ones do. In that case I can see them doing that.
Re: Phil and Alex
Yeah sometimes I read what I write/wrote and I think that sounded mean but it's totally not how I meant it. I can totally see 3 adoptions costing over 100K because I know some countries charge a mint for them.
I used to be a regular viewer of a lot of vlogs, but they get old to me. I started watching a lot of them when they only had less than 20K subs and then they'd blow up and quit their jobs and stay home and well it just got stale after a while.
I used to be a regular viewer of a lot of vlogs, but they get old to me. I started watching a lot of them when they only had less than 20K subs and then they'd blow up and quit their jobs and stay home and well it just got stale after a while.
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Re: Phil and Alex
I think the reason Phil is so over the top is because he's a Pastor so I think he feels this need to radiate constant positivity. I do appreciate their positive message but I will say sometimes they come across as fake because of how over the top happy they act.
Re: Phil and Alex
That's what I don't really like about it. I hate when vloggers talk about religion and get preachy and with them it happens a lot. I respect them being religious and having their thoughts and feelings about god but I don't need/want to listen to it.
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Re: Phil and Alex
I think they're actually genuinely that happy and it's irritating but they do seem like good people and not just faking it for YouTube
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Re: Phil and Alex
I love to see those types of fundraisers and would donate in a heartbeat to a deserving family. When you adopt a child you are often saving them from a lifetime of pain, suffering, trauma, loneliness, etc. The cost of adoption varies depending on where you're adopting from, but it is absolutely outrageous and so many suffering children would have homes if the cost wasn't what it is. Adopting a child is different and much more expensive than just deciding to get pregnant.angelhollow wrote:I don't understand why people have gofundme type accounts for adoption? I know it costs money, but that's your decision. It's like "Oh, I'm going to have a baby, so could you guys fund me please?"
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Re: Phil and Alex
Not always true. I paid 11 k after the birth of my daughter in medical bills.Caisflame wrote:I love to see those types of fundraisers and would donate in a heartbeat to a deserving family. When you adopt a child you are often saving them from a lifetime of pain, suffering, trauma, loneliness, etc. The cost of adoption varies depending on where you're adopting from, but it is absolutely outrageous and so many suffering children would have homes if the cost wasn't what it is. Adopting a child is different and much more expensive than just deciding to get pregnant.angelhollow wrote:I don't understand why people have gofundme type accounts for adoption? I know it costs money, but that's your decision. It's like "Oh, I'm going to have a baby, so could you guys fund me please?"
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Re: Phil and Alex
More often than not, it absolutely is true. There is always an exception to everything. But anyone who has even the slightest knowledge on adoption can tell you it is typically way more expensive than having a baby. Especially international adoptions. I don't know why anyone is trying to deny this. Adoption costs are outrageous and need to be fixed.olivialinnea101 wrote:Not always true. I paid 11 k after the birth of my daughter in medical bills.Caisflame wrote:I love to see those types of fundraisers and would donate in a heartbeat to a deserving family. When you adopt a child you are often saving them from a lifetime of pain, suffering, trauma, loneliness, etc. The cost of adoption varies depending on where you're adopting from, but it is absolutely outrageous and so many suffering children would have homes if the cost wasn't what it is. Adopting a child is different and much more expensive than just deciding to get pregnant.angelhollow wrote:I don't understand why people have gofundme type accounts for adoption? I know it costs money, but that's your decision. It's like "Oh, I'm going to have a baby, so could you guys fund me please?"
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Re: Phil and Alex
Does anyone know why Alex took having to do a medicated cycle of IVF so to heart? Isn't that how most people do IVF anyways?
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Re: Phil and Alex
Kinsley can sing her ABCs we get it omg. Also Callie has to be one of the happiest yt babies I've ever seen and she's super cute
Re: Phil and Alex
IVF has several different proticals. Technically their issue with getting pregnant is on Phil's end. However her hormone levels aren't at the place where they can do unmediated. Some clinics have their own way of doing it. There are some clinics that specialize in PCOS or have come up with an IVF protocol for PCOS patients.olivialinnea101 wrote:Does anyone know why Alex took having to do a medicated cycle of IVF so to heart? Isn't that how most people do IVF anyways?
They've already created the embryos so this would be FET.
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Re: Phil and Alex
Gotcha. Thanks for clarifying I don't know much about the IVF process. Does anyone know when they plan to do their FET? They were talking about it frequently and then all of a sudden no more mention.eab424 wrote:IVF has several different proticals. Technically their issue with getting pregnant is on Phil's end. However her hormone levels aren't at the place where they can do unmediated. Some clinics have their own way of doing it. There are some clinics that specialize in PCOS or have come up with an IVF protocol for PCOS patients.olivialinnea101 wrote:Does anyone know why Alex took having to do a medicated cycle of IVF so to heart? Isn't that how most people do IVF anyways?
They've already created the embryos so this would be FET.
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Re: Phil and Alex
I haven't watched recently but maybe they've actually done their FET and want to make a surprise announcement later on. Like a lot of YTbers do.
I'm wondering too why using medications for her FET is so bothersome to her. I mean she used all those medications to create her frosties why not give yourself optimal circumstances during your FET to be successful? You want your E2, progesterone, TSH, and lining to all be in the best shape possible so why not?
I'm wondering too why using medications for her FET is so bothersome to her. I mean she used all those medications to create her frosties why not give yourself optimal circumstances during your FET to be successful? You want your E2, progesterone, TSH, and lining to all be in the best shape possible so why not?