DailyStagedAndConfused (Part 90)

[HelloSweetie]

Oh yea let's not comfort an almost 4 year, I mean he's almost an adult he doesn't need comfort.

I hate how vilified Ollie is on this board. If this was in the E&J board and had happened to Jackson, the tune would have been completely different.

I'm not saying Missy and Bryan handled it correctly, they never do. But telling a 4 year old they are fine and to move on when they in fact aren't, isn't okay either. He's allowed to feel upset!

Bee stings hurt. Simple as that. They should have comforted him, gave him something to maybe make it feel bad, and iced it a bit.


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Exactly I have a feeling Gaines would have acted even more dramatic and everyone on the thread would be acting completely different. The simple fact is Ollie overreacts because he gets attention for it. Hell its probably the most attention he has gotten all week, he's normally in his toy room watching tv while his parents play video games and binge watch tv shows.


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I agree completely, but this is a huge problem and exactly how Missy became the way she is. Oliver isn't going to know how to function when the attention isn't all on him, and I wouldn't be surprised if this led him to exaggerate or create stories for extra attention. There is a boy like this is my son's class, and it took the kids awhile to realize he's a storyteller, but now they are all sick of it. Getting extra attention from the bad things in life that happen just seems like a recipe for a Joan or an Ellie.

[whys0seri0us]

Oh yea let's not comfort an almost 4 year, I mean he's almost an adult he doesn't need comfort.

I hate how vilified Ollie is on this board. If this was in the E&J board and had happened to Jackson, the tune would have been completely different.

I'm not saying Missy and Bryan handled it correctly, they never do. But telling a 4 year old they are fine and to move on when they in fact aren't, isn't okay either. He's allowed to feel upset!

Bee stings hurt. Simple as that. They should have comforted him, gave him something to maybe make it feel bad, and iced it a bit.


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I dont have a problem with them comforting him, they should! I do have a problem with them continuing to bring it up over and over and milking his fake cries. I'm pretty sure that if they didn't make him retell the story over and over, and didn't KEEP asking him after he's clearly over it, if it still hurt, he would have been fine by the time they turned the camera on. I also have a problem with them showering him with toys and gifts after a bee sting, it reinforces whining behavior. The child needed comfort and cuddles right after, but put some ice on it make sure he's fine and then stop bringing it up! That sting will "hurt" for days and days if Ollie thinks he can get extra attention and toys out of it.

But he wasn't whining and they turned the camera on right after it happened. In fact if you pay attention the the quality, it seems like Bryan just whipped out his phone to record it.

I see no difference between breaking out a new toy after something like that and giving kids lollipops after getting shots. They all sat down and played with the toy together too.

As far as retelling the story, I don't get what the big deal is.


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[usernamessuck]

I'm all for comforting children when they are hurt, but you have to draw the line. Put one cube of ice and say "now doesnt that feel better?" And moving on. The whole freaking day revolved around the bee sting. The new toy. Resting on the couch. He was stung by a bee geez. You have to move on at some point.

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[HelloSweetie]

I've been meaning to make this post, but everyone seems to think Ollie doesn't listen and is so bad BUT, that boy is a great swimmer. The only way he could have gotten that good is by listening and paying attention and doing well in swim class. I think when he goes to preschool he's going to be and do perfectly fine. Children often listen to other people and instructors more then they listen to their parents.


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He's been in lessons for 4 years and has changed teachers about 4 times. We don't have a pool in our backyard to practice, but my son learned way faster than that with sets of lessons rather than year round weekly ones.

And we've seen many instances where he wasn't listening at swim class, but then again, he is a preschooler.

I still think he's going to have a problem in school, but do believe he could learn the rules of his parents helped work with him. Trouble is, I think Missy is going to take strong offence to any negative feedback and we will likely see a few school changes in Ollie's future....like the doctor shopping.

[Playsinrain]

Oh yea let's not comfort an almost 4 year, I mean he's almost an adult he doesn't need comfort.

I hate how vilified Ollie is on this board. If this was in the E&J board and had happened to Jackson, the tune would have been completely different.

I'm not saying Missy and Bryan handled it correctly, they never do. But telling a 4 year old they are fine and to move on when they in fact aren't, isn't okay either. He's allowed to feel upset!

Bee stings hurt. Simple as that. They should have comforted him, gave him something to maybe make it feel bad, and iced it a bit.


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Exactly I have a feeling Gaines would have acted even more dramatic and everyone on the thread would be acting completely different. The simple fact is Ollie overreacts because he gets attention for it. Hell its probably the most attention he has gotten all week, he's normally in his toy room watching tv while his parents play video games and binge watch tv shows.


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Of course she would have been upset, but the difference is how the parents react. I would bet everything i own that Cullen and Katie would not carry on all day long about it, upsetting her more and more and bringing it back up after she had forgotten about it. I also doubt they would have given her a $30 Cars toy over it. My issues are with the way his parents made it even worse. He was already pretty calm when Bryan pulled the camera out. They could have calmed him down even more after that, but they did everything they could to hype him up and get the reaction they wanted for the camera.

[dassit25]

I was really annoyed when Bryan was asking whoever it was if they were enjoying the massage. To me, Bryan totally seems like that type of "friend" who does something nice for someone just to throw it back in their face. Like, look what I did for you now be grateful. Idk, that's just how it came across to me. I had a friend like that. Had.


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It's that situation when you straightface reply " I will once I get the Happy Ending."

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[sadfox]

I am not a parenting expert but... Why do you have to basically reward and give gifts to your child after he gets hurt? Brayan saying that he wants to make Ollie feel better with new toys is such bullshit. Did Finn get any toys after he got his little head bruised? I am not saying one should not comfort a child in pain but this is an absolute overreaction. Not teaching your child to calm down and find peace after an accident is super unhelpful. I think they are pushing him into the direction of learned helplessness. Also, I would bet this is not the only time they give him things "to calm him down & take his mind of smth"

[usernamessuck]

I want to be completely clear: I am not faulting Ollie for his reaction. The child is four. He does what he does because his parents give him attention when he whines (and in this case a toy). Bryan and missy are at fault here. They could have calmed him down, but they chose not to. Do you think when Ollie goes to school his teachers are going to give him THAT much attention if he gets stung? Heck no. He'll be lucky if he gets an ice pack. They are not giving him the tools he needs to succeed socially, and it's going to be very evident when he goes to school in the fall.

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[Playsinrain]

Oh yea let's not comfort an almost 4 year, I mean he's almost an adult he doesn't need comfort.

I hate how vilified Ollie is on this board. If this was in the E&J board and had happened to Jackson, the tune would have been completely different.

I'm not saying Missy and Bryan handled it correctly, they never do. But telling a 4 year old they are fine and to move on when they in fact aren't, isn't okay either. He's allowed to feel upset!

Bee stings hurt. Simple as that. They should have comforted him, gave him something to maybe make it feel bad, and iced it a bit.


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I dont have a problem with them comforting him, they should! I do have a problem with them continuing to bring it up over and over and milking his fake cries. I'm pretty sure that if they didn't make him retell the story over and over, and didn't KEEP asking him after he's clearly over it, if it still hurt, he would have been fine by the time they turned the camera on. I also have a problem with them showering him with toys and gifts after a bee sting, it reinforces whining behavior. The child needed comfort and cuddles right after, but put some ice on it make sure he's fine and then stop bringing it up! That sting will "hurt" for days and days if Ollie thinks he can get extra attention and toys out of it.

But he wasn't whining and they turned the camera on right after it happened. In fact if you pay attention the the quality, it seems like Bryan just whipped out his phone to record it.

I see no difference between breaking out a new toy after something like that and giving kids lollipops after getting shots. They all sat down and played with the toy together too.

As far as retelling the story, I don't get what the big deal is.


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Exactly he wasn't whining all that bad at first, until they coninued to push at him that it still hurt and made him tell everyone what happened. Retelling the story over and over keeps it fresh in his mind which makes him whine and cry about it even more. A $30 toy isn't comparable to a sucker. I wouldnt care at all if he got a sucker or popcicle, a huge toy like that is way over the top AND makes me think that they have bags of toys sitting around just to appease Ollie when he gets upset.

[dassit25]

I'm sorry but that whole rant about Red Lobster sounded so entitled and stupid. Yes missy. They took one look at you and were like umm no sorry, it's gonna be 2 hours. You are not that special missy. Get over yourself. They would have had a party of what 8+ people? That's why the wait is so long Missy. They have to wait on enough tables to empty to seat you all together.

Two hours at a Red Lobster? Sounds right. Maybe Bryan should've have sang his hits or supermodel Ollie flash his signature stare to move the wait to 1 hour 45 minutes.

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[Playsinrain]

I am not a parenting expert but... Why do you have to basically reward and give gifts to your child after he gets hurt? Brayan saying that he wants to make Ollie feel better with new toys is such bullshit. Did Finn get any toys after he got his little head bruised? I am not saying one should not comfort a child in pain but this is an absolute overreaction. Not teaching your child to calm down and find peace after an accident is super unhelpful. I think they are pushing him into the direction of learned helplessness. Also, I would bet this is not the only time they give him things "to calm him down & take his mind of smth"

Its things like that, that will backfire with them quick. Ollie will be expecting a birthday present sized gift every time he stubs his toe.

[Playsinrain]

Like i mentioned before, Finn's head looks 10 times worse than Ollie's sting. We don't get a 15 mins vlog of them cuddling and comforting Finn. We don't see them asking him 1047935 times in a day if it still hurts and to show it to everyone. We didn't see Finn getting toys bc he hurt himself. It's just crazy and sad to me that they favor Ollie so much more than Finn. Even IF they did all those things, we don't see it, which totally means Ollie's injuries are more "important" to them (aka the vlog) than Finn's. Hell we were lucky to see Finn at all in this vlog bc Ollie got hurt, but yet there is Finn looking like he could have gotten a concussion and not even a word about it.

[Ducklings4]

I've been meaning to make this post, but everyone seems to think Ollie doesn't listen and is so bad BUT, that boy is a great swimmer. The only way he could have gotten that good is by listening and paying attention and doing well in swim class. I think when he goes to preschool he's going to be and do perfectly fine. Children often listen to other people and instructors more then they listen to their parents.


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It will be interesting to see how he is at school. Ollie does not seem to respect any adults except Mimi and Papa. They come to his lessons so maybe that is why he behaves there and can learn.


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[whys0seri0us]

I've been meaning to make this post, but everyone seems to think Ollie doesn't listen and is so bad BUT, that boy is a great swimmer. The only way he could have gotten that good is by listening and paying attention and doing well in swim class. I think when he goes to preschool he's going to be and do perfectly fine. Children often listen to other people and instructors more then they listen to their parents.


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It will be interesting to see how he is at school. Ollie does not seem to respect any adults except Mimi and Papa. They come to his lessons so maybe that is why he behaves there and can learn.


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I can't wait for Ollie to go to school and do just fine.


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[lmmomSD]

I've been meaning to make this post, but everyone seems to think Ollie doesn't listen and is so bad BUT, that boy is a great swimmer. The only way he could have gotten that good is by listening and paying attention and doing well in swim class. I think when he goes to preschool he's going to be and do perfectly fine. Children often listen to other people and instructors more then they listen to their parents.


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But he's been through several swim teachers, and for a while was having private lessons in the pool at the old house. They also practiced with him instead of throwing him into the pool with floaties on so they can ignore him.
And about the "comforting" over a bee sting, they don't comfort him. "Comforting", is " yes, it hurt, here's a hug, but you're ok" Bryan and Missy work him up more, like when he got his shot. First, they lied to him about it, then kept going on and on, and making it worse. I don't vilify Ollie. I blame Bryan and Missy. They make any painful experience he has 10 times worse by filming it and making him tell everyone, starting the water works up all over. And getting a toy for a bee sting? I agree that Finn probably didn't get a toy for cracking his head.

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[whys0seri0us]

I've been meaning to make this post, but everyone seems to think Ollie doesn't listen and is so bad BUT, that boy is a great swimmer. The only way he could have gotten that good is by listening and paying attention and doing well in swim class. I think when he goes to preschool he's going to be and do perfectly fine. Children often listen to other people and instructors more then they listen to their parents.


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But he's been through several swim teachers, and for a while was having private lessons in the pool at the old house. They also practiced with him instead of throwing him into the pool with floaties on so they can ignore him.
And about the "comforting" over a bee sting, they don't comfort him. "Comforting", is " yes, it hurt, here's a hug, but you're ok" Bryan and Missy work him up more, like when he got his shot. First, they lied to him about it, then kept going on and on, and making it worse. I don't vilify Ollie. I blame Bryan and Missy. They make any painful experience he has 10 times worse by filming it and making him tell everyone, starting the water works up all over. And getting a toy for a bee sting? I agree that Finn probably didn't get a toy for cracking his head.

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Most people on this board do vilify Ollie though. If Jackson or Gains had had a similar reaction, and we all know Gains especially would have cried hard, no one would have said anything about it.

Everyone hates Bryan and Missy, and Ollie being and extension of them, gets the worse of the hate in my opinion.




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[Amelia322]

I can't get over Jeff and the entire Lumps family walking on the white carpet with their dirty dingy shoes.


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[lmmomSD]

Oh yea let's not comfort an almost 4 year, I mean he's almost an adult he doesn't need comfort.

I hate how vilified Ollie is on this board. If this was in the E&J board and had happened to Jackson, the tune would have been completely different.

I'm not saying Missy and Bryan handled it correctly, they never do. But telling a 4 year old they are fine and to move on when they in fact aren't, isn't okay either. He's allowed to feel upset!

Bee stings hurt. Simple as that. They should have comforted him, gave him something to maybe make it feel bad, and iced it a bit.


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I dont have a problem with them comforting him, they should! I do have a problem with them continuing to bring it up over and over and milking his fake cries. I'm pretty sure that if they didn't make him retell the story over and over, and didn't KEEP asking him after he's clearly over it, if it still hurt, he would have been fine by the time they turned the camera on. I also have a problem with them showering him with toys and gifts after a bee sting, it reinforces whining behavior. The child needed comfort and cuddles right after, but put some ice on it make sure he's fine and then stop bringing it up! That sting will "hurt" for days and days if Ollie thinks he can get extra attention and toys out of it.

But he wasn't whining and they turned the camera on right after it happened. In fact if you pay attention the the quality, it seems like Bryan just whipped out his phone to record it.

I see no difference between breaking out a new toy after something like that and giving kids lollipops after getting shots. They all sat down and played with the toy together too.

As far as retelling the story, I don't get what the big deal is.


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The difference between a lollipop and a toy is that a lollipop is small, immediate, and gets eaten, and the pain is pretty much forgotten by the time the lollipop is gone. They got him a $30 toy over a _bee sting_, long after he was over the actual sting.

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[bunny88]

Like i mentioned before, Finn's head looks 10 times worse than Ollie's sting. We don't get a 15 mins vlog of them cuddling and comforting Finn. We don't see them asking him 1047935 times in a day if it still hurts and to show it to everyone. We didn't see Finn getting toys bc he hurt himself. It's just crazy and sad to me that they favor Ollie so much more than Finn. Even IF they did all those things, we don't see it, which totally means Ollie's injuries are more "important" to them (aka the vlog) than Finn's. Hell we were lucky to see Finn at all in this vlog bc Ollie got hurt, but yet there is Finn looking like he could have gotten a concussion and not even a word about it.

Exactly.... I have a strong suspicion that he got hurt by Ollie or the pool. And they arent going to even address what happened because it will make them look bad in some way.

[rd_valo]

Right?! LOL I'm ni GA and with our humidity 90 feels like the halls of hell. Last summer we had several 100+ days and i didn't want to leave my house. Wearing air is not a fun feeling.

Oh snap! I'm not the only one from Georgia on this forum! What part of GA do you live in, if you don't mind me asking? Sorry that this is WAY off topic, haha.

I'm also a Georgian and live west of Atlanta. I am so pale and hate the summer here.


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I'm scottish.... need i say more about how pale i am?


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