FatheringAutism

[actuallydear]

I just discovered this family - they've currently have 15k in subs, have been vlogging a year and have grown like 5k in subs in the last week or so, I believe.
The family is comprised of a married middle aged couple and their two children, Isaiah and Abigail. Their daughter has autism and she is non-verbal. So they're not your typical vlogging family and they vlog about real life stuff. I think a few of us here would enjoy that portion of their vlogs, so thought I'd share it.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZwd0q ... LnM5nwZpsA

[blackroses]

Thanks seems interesting enough ! I'll check them out

[Tiger27]

I recently bingewatched a bunch of their videos and I think they are a lovely family! What stuck out to me was when the dad was responding to criticisms about ABA therapy, he stated that he doesn't do this to make Abby "easier to handle" because he'll "take care of this girl until the day I die". He said it with such love and commitment, I teared up! It must be a truly challenging situation to have a child with autism but I think they are handling it beautifully. I think it's great they are making it educational as well (since many youtubers like to sweep this under the rug or make it out to be such a negative thing) and bringing a lot of important issues to light. I'm sure there are lots of families who benefit greatly from his channel.

[Blueberries]

I absolutely adore this family. I recently found their vlogs and I'm so glad I did.

[ohaudrey]

Love them. I'm an autism mom & I find it awesome that they are willing to share their story.

[Playsinrain]

I haven't watched them but they started popping up in my suggested this weekend..... and i won't be watching at ALL. One video thumbnail showed the autistic (and apparently non verbal, according to you guys) girl sitting on the toilet with a title about potty training. No way in hell can i support someone who would put their special needs child out there like that. Potty training vids like that (plus with her being an older child) are just looking for creeper click bait. With that girl being severely autistic to the point where she is non verbal, there is no way she is able to give consent for that. Her parent's know exactly what they are doing and where those video's will wind up being embedded/shared. He might "take care of her until the day he dies" like someone else said, but he doesn't care that he's exploiting his special needs daughter for every creep with a fetish on the internet. Disgusting, they should be ashamed..

[olim]

I actually have not watched them - but came to this thread to say pretty much what the above poster has said.

That video with the thumbnail of their daughter on the toilet came up as a recommended video for me yesterday. I was shocked - as playsinrain said, it seemed like they were aiming it at creepy people. I can't imagine how someone could use their own daughter in this way - it's gross.

[Playsinrain]

I actually have not watched them - but came to this thread to say pretty much what the above poster has said.

That video with the thumbnail of their daughter on the toilet came up as a recommended video for me yesterday. I was shocked - as playsinrain said, it seemed like they were aiming it at creepy people. I can't imagine how someone could use their own daughter in this way - it's gross.

I'm glad someone agrees.
Slightly off topic, but this video came up yesterday in my suggested as well, and i had not seen these people in my suggested before this weekend (yesterday in particular, the potty video was one of a couple that came up for them). can creators pick and choose what videos show up in suggested videos? For that one to be singled out by at least two of us here seems strange. I know i haven't been watching potty training videos, so it's not bc of the content... If that is the case, it makes me think even worse about these parents.

[Playsinrain]

Also, the potty video? 123K views, when, after scrolling through a few rows of videos, is WAY above avg for their views (nearly all of them are less than 10k) and is the SECOND most popular video on the channel. #1 is a first day of school vlog with 145K and #3 "What is Stemming" is at 51K.. something is REALLY up with this and makes me sick at my stomach. Also, I'm not a special needs mom, my understanding of parenting an autistic child is slim to none, and i know behavioral problems are common with autistic children, BUT.. there are so many vlogs about her having a meltdown in public, or having to restrain her, things like that, negative sounding titles to these vlogs. Maybe they are just tying to show real life and not sugar coat it, but it seems very exploitative towards their daughter.
Just with a quick skim through the number of titles that put her in a negative light (She Bit His Face! Meltdown in Public!, Meltdown on Mother's Day, Meltdown At Walmart, I had to restrain her, She cried!, She destroyed her Room!!) really bothers me. And like i said i'm not one to act like i know what it's like to deal with a child like her, but i can't see myself making my daughter look like a holy terror every single day (pretty much) just bc she was born with different abilities than the normal child. How about highlighting the GOOD in every day instead of only showing the difficult parts?

[olim]

I don't watch potty training videos. In fact, I am only subscribed to one YT mommy/family now. However, I am a teacher and do occasionally watch videos that would be about teaching students with special educational needs. But honestly like 99% of what I watch on youtube is buzzfeed type videos, and those kind of things are what is usually recommended!

[Tiger27]

Did any of you actually watch the potty training video?? She never even pulls her pants down! The dad has her practice going through the steps of pottying without actually doing it so he can show how they used ABA therapy to teach her step by step how to do it. He explains beforehand they aren't actually going to be showing her potty and then she literally sits down with her pants on and the dad explains to her that he knows this is kind of confusing but they are just practicing. Theirs nothing creepy or strange about it at all. No different than her sitting on a chair. A majority of the video is about using an amazon echo to set potty reminders and hand washing. I also think people grossly overestimate the whole potty video showing up on porn sites or whatever thing (btw I am not implying this was the dad's purpose or intention in any way). Everyone on this site is aware because it was a hot topic for some time. I would argue that the general public would have no idea about any of that and I think it is hugely unfair to say the "parent's know exactly what they are doing and where those video's will wind up being embedded/shared' and "he doesn't care that he's exploiting his special needs daughter for every creep with a fetish on the internet". Had it not been for ytmd, I would have never known this was even a thing and I think that is true for most people. I HIGHLY DOUBT that was his intention and I highly doubt he even knows there is a potential issue with toddlers on toilets. He made an informative instructional video that never once involves the daughter being undressed or actually using the toilet. Most of the comments people saying things along the lines of "I've struggled with potty training my special needs child, thanks for the tips". It seems to me you all are the ones sexualizing this, not them.

I do agree that a many of their titles seem to focus on the negative but if you actually watch the videos, none of them appear that way. They are very loving and supportive of her and do their best to help her live as independently as possible using ABA therapy techniques. They aren't embarrassed by her behaviors but are very frank and up front that this is just how she is and they love her anyways. They are educational about her behaviors too, not just showing these things for the heck of it. It sounds like some of you haven't even watched any of the videos, I'd suggest doing that first.

[olim]

did that need to be the thumbnail though?

[Playsinrain]

While I'm very glad the thumbnail is not what it seems, there are many MANY people on yt looking for videos of kids using the potty, and not for potty training reasons. The way you explained the video it seems that there could have been a ton of options for thumbnails other than one implying the child would be on the toilet in the video. The fact that they chose that image is disturbing, and the fact that that video has literally hundreds of thousands of more views than any of their other videos makes it seem even worse to me. I would have thought the same way about it even if I had not been involved in other discussions about the same sort of thumbnails before. It's just not cool to show your non verbal, non consenting daughter on a toliet on YouTube.
I'm glad the other videos are not as bad as they seem, but it also seems like they are using her acting out to their own advantage. Seems like the way you are describing it, it's classic click bait. Click bait is how yt's pay the bills though so I do get it. I hope that their videos DO help others that have the same struggles as they do, but the thumbnails and titles seem very much like they are exploiting their special needs daughter and her issues, which is very sad and disappointing to me. The issues they discuss are helpful to a community of people, i 100% agree with that. But I feel like it could be done in a much more tasteful way than exploiting every meltdown she has. I hope they don't show all these on vlogs either. It's not fair to her to have these types of moments filmed and made for public consumption. For those very reasons I will not watch these guys.

[Tiger27]

did that need to be the thumbnail though?

Well it is a video about potty training... It doesn't even show her bottom half. The title says they will be using "discrete trial training" which makes it sound like an educational video to me. I personally never would have had a second thought about it until I read the comments here. I'm sticking to my argument that most people are not aware of the connection between potty videos and perverts and my assumption that this was done with absolutely no malice intended. I can understand where you are coming from olim (although I disagree, which is fine), but playsinrain literally said this was an intentional act meant to exploit his daughter for creeps on the internet and you said this seems like it was aimed at creepy people...implying purposeful intention. I truly believe that is not the case.

[olim]

Whether that was the intention or not - the thumbnail just looks wrong. I know now she has pants fully on - but you would assume the opposite looking at the tumbnail. idk just looking through their channel has left me feeling uneasy. I have not watched their videos - and I see that people here think they are very nice - they may be! But that thumbnail and so many of their video titles are very clickbaity and negative - at the expense of their non-verbal child. That just doesn't seem right to me.

[Tiger27]

While I'm very glad the thumbnail is not what it seems, there are many MANY people on yt looking for videos of kids using the potty, and not for potty training reasons. The way you explained the video it seems that there could have been a ton of options for thumbnails other than one implying the child would be on the toilet in the video. The fact that they chose that image is disturbing, and the fact that that video has literally hundreds of thousands of more views than any of their other videos makes it seem even worse to me. I would have thought the same way about it even if I had not been involved in other discussions about the same sort of thumbnails before. It's just not cool to show your non verbal, non consenting daughter on a toliet on YouTube.
I'm glad the other videos are not as bad as they seem, but it also seems like they are using her acting out to their own advantage. Seems like the way you are describing it, it's classic click bait. Click bait is how yt's pay the bills though so I do get it. I hope that their videos DO help others that have the same struggles as they do, but the thumbnails and titles seem very much like they are exploiting their special needs daughter and her issues, which is very sad and disappointing to me. The issues they discuss are helpful to a community of people, i 100% agree with that. But I feel like it could be done in a much more tasteful way than exploiting every meltdown she has. I hope they don't show all these on vlogs either. It's not fair to her to have these types of moments filmed and made for public consumption. For those very reasons I will not watch these guys.

Okay, I undertand where you are coming from about the titles and I agree to an extent. I still disagree about the potty thing being targeted at perverts (see my response to olim) Some of them certainly border on questionable to me as well...but I try to not get too annoyed with clickbait because like you mentioned, this is youtube after all. But after watching each video, its not really clickbait in the sense that they are being disingenuous or exaggerating what happened because it really is just their real life. For example, in "She Destroyed Her Room | Yes, We Fight | Vlog #98" They open by talking about how Abby got sick "from both ends" the night before and literally (and accidentally) destroyed her room (to the point where they had to throw a bunch of stuff away). They didn't show it or make it some it some huge focus, they just presented what happened (in a pretty vague way) and talked about what they learned from it...the clip was mostly about them fighting due to the stressful situation and making up. The dad said, this is "real autism"...it's their reality and they aren't making fun or doing it just to show the bad or crazy things (most of their channel is positive) for views. It's all presented in a pretty educational and eye opening manner in my opinion. In some of the autism meltdown videos, they aren't really about showing her meltdown, it is about the techniques they use to help her cope with the meltdowns. Sure they could probably improve to be a little less sensationalistic but then would they get as many views? Would as many people be educated on autism? It's a double edge sword.

The father also made a video in response to the question, Can Abby consent to having her struggles shown on youtube? I'd highly recommend listening to his thoughts/point of view if you change your mind about watching.

[Playsinrain]

did that need to be the thumbnail though?

Well it is a video about potty training... It doesn't even show her bottom half. The title says they will be using "discrete trial training" which makes it sound like an educational video to me. I personally never would have had a second thought about it until I read the comments here. I'm sticking to my argument that most people are not aware of the connection between potty videos and perverts and my assumption that this was done with absolutely no malice intended. I can understand where you are coming from olim (although I disagree, which is fine), but playsinrain literally said this was an intentional act meant to exploit his daughter for creeps on the internet and you said this seems like it was aimed at creepy people...implying purposeful intention. I truly believe that is not the case.

They intentionally used that specific thumbnail to draw in views. And it has obviously worked. Like I said, there are a million other things that happened in that video that could have been the thumbnail. There is ZERO excuse to use a pic of your daughter sitting on a toilet for a YouTube video, no matter the content of the video. Maybe I'm more prudish than I realize but under no circumstance does that seem like an ok thing to do.

[Playsinrain]

While I'm very glad the thumbnail is not what it seems, there are many MANY people on yt looking for videos of kids using the potty, and not for potty training reasons. The way you explained the video it seems that there could have been a ton of options for thumbnails other than one implying the child would be on the toilet in the video. The fact that they chose that image is disturbing, and the fact that that video has literally hundreds of thousands of more views than any of their other videos makes it seem even worse to me. I would have thought the same way about it even if I had not been involved in other discussions about the same sort of thumbnails before. It's just not cool to show your non verbal, non consenting daughter on a toliet on YouTube.
I'm glad the other videos are not as bad as they seem, but it also seems like they are using her acting out to their own advantage. Seems like the way you are describing it, it's classic click bait. Click bait is how yt's pay the bills though so I do get it. I hope that their videos DO help others that have the same struggles as they do, but the thumbnails and titles seem very much like they are exploiting their special needs daughter and her issues, which is very sad and disappointing to me. The issues they discuss are helpful to a community of people, i 100% agree with that. But I feel like it could be done in a much more tasteful way than exploiting every meltdown she has. I hope they don't show all these on vlogs either. It's not fair to her to have these types of moments filmed and made for public consumption. For those very reasons I will not watch these guys.

Okay, I undertand where you are coming from about the titles and I agree to an extent. I still disagree about the potty thing being targeted at perverts (see my response to olim) Some of them certainly border on questionable to me as well...but I try to not get too annoyed with clickbait because like you mentioned, this is youtube after all. But after watching each video, its not really clickbait in the sense that they are being disingenuous or exaggerating what happened because it really is just their real life. For example, in "She Destroyed Her Room | Yes, We Fight | Vlog #98" They open by talking about how Abby got sick "from both ends" the night before and literally (and accidentally) destroyed her room (to the point where they had to throw a bunch of stuff away). They didn't show it or make it some it some huge focus, they just presented what happened (in a pretty vague way) and talked about what they learned from it...the clip was mostly about them fighting due to the stressful situation and making up. The dad said, this is "real autism"...it's their reality and they aren't making fun or doing it just to show the bad or crazy things (most of their channel is positive) for views. It's all presented in a pretty educational and eye opening manner in my opinion. In some of the autism meltdown videos, they aren't really about showing her meltdown, it is about the techniques they use to help her cope with the meltdowns. Sure they could probably improve to be a little less sensationalistic but then would they get as many views? Would as many people be educated on autism? It's a double edge sword.

The father also made a video in response to the question, Can Abby consent to having her struggles shown on youtube? I'd highly recommend listening to his thoughts/point of view if you change your mind about watching.

I actually saw this video and will watch it, Bc that is a very valid question to me... could she possibly understand the scope of YouTube? The enormity of it? i.e.: being accessible to basically everyone in the modernized world..
I'm glad you get what I'm saying about the titles and such, I do realize that people looking for advice on these specific difficulties with Autistic children would very much benefit from the videos. But like you said, it seems sensationalized, but that is the beast that is YouTube as well.

[blackroses]

Did any of you actually watch the potty training video?? She never even pulls her pants down! The dad has her practice going through the steps of pottying without actually doing it so he can show how they used ABA therapy to teach her step by step how to do it. He explains beforehand they aren't actually going to be showing her potty and then she literally sits down with her pants on and the dad explains to her that he knows this is kind of confusing but they are just practicing. Theirs nothing creepy or strange about it at all. No different than her sitting on a chair. A majority of the video is about using an amazon echo to set potty reminders and hand washing. I also think people grossly overestimate the whole potty video showing up on porn sites or whatever thing (btw I am not implying this was the dad's purpose or intention in any way). Everyone on this site is aware because it was a hot topic for some time. I would argue that the general public would have no idea about any of that and I think it is hugely unfair to say the "parent's know exactly what they are doing and where those video's will wind up being embedded/shared' and "he doesn't care that he's exploiting his special needs daughter for every creep with a fetish on the internet". Had it not been for ytmd, I would have never known this was even a thing and I think that is true for most people. I HIGHLY DOUBT that was his intention and I highly doubt he even knows there is a potential issue with toddlers on toilets. He made an informative instructional video that never once involves the daughter being undressed or actually using the toilet. Most of the comments people saying things along the lines of "I've struggled with potty training my special needs child, thanks for the tips". It seems to me you all are the ones sexualizing this, not them.

I do agree that a many of their titles seem to focus on the negative but if you actually watch the videos, none of them appear that way. They are very loving and supportive of her and do their best to help her live as independently as possible using ABA therapy techniques. They aren't embarrassed by her behaviors but are very frank and up front that this is just how she is and they love her anyways. They are educational about her behaviors too, not just showing these things for the heck of it. It sounds like some of you haven't even watched any of the videos, I'd suggest doing that first.

Thank you

[DoodleBop]

Many autistic people have come out saying how they felt ABA was abusive and outright torture in some cases. The blogs\vlogs of autistic people can be really valuable to see things in a way a not autistic parent\therapist might. Hopefully if they've decided this is right for their kid they feel it's not harmful.

I was recently told allowing a child to watch TV so they'll eat is "force feeding". So even a picture of "tablet time so kid will eat something today" can turn into a possible accusation of abuse within SN mom groups. It's insane. They're brave to vlog the judgment for parents of autistic kids is intense.

This family was recommended a lot to me lately. It's nice to see a non-verbal kid in a family. I wonder if they'll take note of their tone the titles. They may not seem negative to them if they can't see the forest for the trees while in every day autism parent mode.