priestess wrote:Emma8385 wrote:This is my first time posting here because I can’t sit back any longer and read ridiculous comments like this about Mormon culture. I have no clue where you are getting this information, but it’s completely laughable. I’ve lived in Utah my entire life and have grown up in the same culture that Ellie has her whole life. Let me educate you... Mormon women are encouraged to seek an education to be able to gain knowledge, better themselves and be able to be self sufficient. They are NOT told they are supposed to have five or more kids. Yes, they are encouraged to have children, but the number absolutely does not matter. There may be some people out there who judge for having less, but that’s on them. That’s not because that is what is taught or upheld. Mormons are not taught to “fake being happy” no matter what is going on in their lives, but instead are taught to count their blessings and lean on the Lord for comfort and guidance. The happiness comes from knowledge and faith of greater things to come and a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who understands all pain and sorrow. Mormonism is not a cult and the women are not taught to be perfect “stepford wives”. The culture may seem strange or foreign to some and I can understand that if I were not rom here. Please don’t bash something you know absolutely nothing about.
(i think this may be in response to an earlier post in which i added sources & links from exmormons & current mormons)
thanks ellie i appreciate the input, bae, have fun on the cruise!
linking you to some light reading! i'm currently channeling my inner cersei and drinking wine in your honor.
i mean no one mentioned the word "cult" until ya did, but if the shoe fits.... if anyone has to say "i'm not in a cult" to convince others that they're not in a cult, then they may be in a cult.
outsiders may have not been raised in that culture, but exmo's do give an insight as to how things work. obviously, everyone's experience is different, particularly those who live outside of utah & in SLC. i included links and & everything in my post for their experiences so it's not like i'm just rattling off bullshit. exmormons literally have nothing to gain/lose when posting, so i don't understand why they would lie. mormon people themselves are not bad; it's just the policies that are problematic.
all i can go off are experiences from those in & out of the church & what is up on official LDS websites. for instance,
- this LDS manual titled Mother's Employment Outside the Home leads with a bunch of old white guys essentialy saying the same thing: men are expected to work, women are expected to be full time homemakers.
- Women in the Church essentially says that the most women can do is become president of RS/YW/Primary, teach sunday school, and pray & speak in meetings. like sure, go to college for 4 years, but then get married 2 months after and become president of RS.
- in the Eternal Marriage Student Manual published in 2003, under "Women's Divine Roles & Responsibilities," it states that "It is divinely ordained what a woman should do, but a man must seek out his work. The divine work of women involves companionship, homemaking, and motherhood." they say women CAN work, but why do so? "Of course, as a woman you can do exceptionally well in the workplace, but is that the best use of your divinely appointed talents and feminine traits?"
- on the other hand, the Men's Divine Roles & Responsibilities website says that men should work & "are the presiding authority in the home." also, all women are "seeking the fulfillment of a [their] greatest desire to have a husband, a family, and a home." granted, that's from the 70's, but why is it still up there? why not replace it with updated views unless that viewpoint is up to date?
those are official writings. they're on the actual lds website. policies can & will impact culture. maybe it's changing in newer generations and isn't as persistant as before (hopefully so you can get more comfortable temple garmets & show some shoulder porn) but it may not be changing fast enough for some.
This is the last I will say anything more on the topic since no matter what either of us say, our personal opinions won’t change, and that’s okay:
Exmormons do give insight, but theirs is usually from a negative place. Unfortunately, some people have bad experiences and are treated poorly in the church. Humans make mistakes and can really do damage to another person and make them feel judged, while some just find that their life and viewpoints no longer go along with the teachings, etc. Most often from what I’ve seen, the things said about the church are the worse from exmormons because they’re feeling jaded and wronged.
The quotes you are referring to can be viewed as sexist unless you (want to) understand the context. Mormons view the family and each individual male and female role as important, yet different. Men and women are given different, yet no less important, innate abilities that can be used in tandem to successfully build each other and the family unit up in love. Who’s to say that a mother’s role in the home is less than a man’s outside of the home, or vice versa? It’s current world views that make it seem that way. Sure, that doesn’t fit everybody’s needs and desires in life, and that’s okay. A woman won’t be, or shouldn’t be, judged or condemned for working outside the home. Unfortunately, many are judged, but only because another person (an imperfect human) chooses to do so. If it can be made possible for a mother to be home, it’s encouraged, but only because of the emotional support and stability it can give to children and the family as a whole.
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