What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

[hi_bye]

I would be elated! First child and first grand-child for my parents. But at the same time I would be so scared financially. That is the only reason we are not trying to have a child right now, is finances. I know it would probably work out but it would be so tight! Definitely not the childhood I wanted to provide (family vacations, etc.). And I would have to ask for help with childcare instead of being a stay at home mom like I wanted. With my husband in school right now, we couldn't afford to let go of my paycheck.

So this is where I kind of need help from y'all. I came off the pill in Feb while he was still training, and I bought condoms as our new form of contraception. He hates them in general, so I said to him "You either wear them or we run the risk of getting pregnant because I'm not dealing with hormonal BC anymore" so that's when he says his favorite line, "if it happens, it happens". I don't hate the idea of having a child, but does this sound like he wants to? It's hard to read him on this one and I'm almost afraid of violating his reproductive rights (I'm not sure if I'm using the correct terminology but close enough).

That sounds like he is making a conscious decision to me to have kids. Like he would be okay if it happens, so you would not be violating anything. A man that does not want kids, or doesn't want them right now, will 100% say so and will help you find another contraceptive, he won't chance it, usually. But that's my opinion, of course, all guys are different! If he hasn't voiced that he doesn't want kids and is always just saying "sure" to kids, that's pretty normal too. Most men I know don't get baby fever like us, but once they baby comes they are enamored. Nothing is 100% effective but maybe you can try natural family planning? Where you chart when you ovulate, etc. and if you don't want a child skip the "fertile windows" and if you do, take advantage of them ?

[sarahbearrr01]

I would be elated! First child and first grand-child for my parents. But at the same time I would be so scared financially. That is the only reason we are not trying to have a child right now, is finances. I know it would probably work out but it would be so tight! Definitely not the childhood I wanted to provide (family vacations, etc.). And I would have to ask for help with childcare instead of being a stay at home mom like I wanted. With my husband in school right now, we couldn't afford to let go of my paycheck.

So this is where I kind of need help from y'all. I came off the pill in Feb while he was still training, and I bought condoms as our new form of contraception. He hates them in general, so I said to him "You either wear them or we run the risk of getting pregnant because I'm not dealing with hormonal BC anymore" so that's when he says his favorite line, "if it happens, it happens". I don't hate the idea of having a child, but does this sound like he wants to? It's hard to read him on this one and I'm almost afraid of violating his reproductive rights (I'm not sure if I'm using the correct terminology but close enough).

That sounds like he is making a conscious decision to me to have kids. Like he would be okay if it happens, so you would not be violating anything. A man that does not want kids, or doesn't want them right now, will 100% say so and will help you find another contraceptive, he won't chance it, usually. But that's my opinion, of course, all guys are different! If he hasn't voiced that he doesn't want kids and is always just saying "sure" to kids, that's pretty normal too. Most men I know don't get baby fever like us, but once they baby comes they are enamored. Nothing is 100% effective but maybe you can try natural family planning? Where you chart when you ovulate, etc. and if you don't want a child skip the "fertile windows" and if you do, take advantage of them ?

Thank you for being so understanding, you're awesome! I've always been so anxious about this and didn't really want to bring it up with our families (we aren't as open with our parents as some). Natural family planning seems like a good fit for us, so we'll have to try it out considering I'm clueless about when I ovulate lol. But yeah, I agree with you; if he didn't want kids right now, he'd be adamant about contraception and way more active about preventing it. I have the tendency to freak myself out and worryworryworry about is not being on the same page about kids right now, but he seems to be a lot less concerned than I am haha.


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[MKitty]

If I were to get pregnant right now I'd probably keep the child due to religious reasons. I'm only 17 so my best bet would probably be to give the child up for adoption, but I don't think I'd ever have the heart to do that. It's kind of impossible for me to get pregnant right now anyway since I'm not in a relationship. xD I'd hope the father would stay in the picture, but it's really hard to say when you're just a teen and one bad decision made you a parent. I have a feeling that I'd be on my own except for my parents. My parents would probably help me raise the child. I only work at a summer camp on weekends and I haven't gotten paid yet, but I'd assume that it won't be anymore than $10-$30 for a weekend. So it would never be enough to raise a child on unless I saved up for years and years.

[tieruhhlynn]

If I found out I was pregnant right now... Oh boy. I'd probably be really disappointed in myself. Granted, I'm married, my husband has a stable career so I'm able to stay at home but I would just feel so mad at myself for not pursuing life goals before I had a 2nd child. Although my husband would LOVE another baby and it would be kind of cool to say I gave birth in Hawaii, I just can't see it in my plans right now. Career first, wait until I'm 25 (I had my son when I just turned 18 so I'd like a little freedom before I dive into having an infant again) and then maybe I'll have another. If I did find out I was pregnant though, there would be no doubt that we would do everything to make sure financially we could handle it, and I know for sure my husband would stay and be super excited about it. My son, probably not so much. He's super spoiled and gets jealous when I hold other babies... So that would be a bit rough. xD

[MamaJoAnna]

What would you do if you found out you were pregnant right now? Would you be happy/disappointed/shocked/etc?

I would more than likely cry. I'm on birth control (mini pill that I take religiously at 10 AM on the nose every single day) and my son is only 4 months old. I would be happy we got pregnant again since we do eventually want another child, but this close together...noooooo way. We want to try for #2 after Jacob turns one in June 2016 so hopefully we would have #2 in spring 2017. Right now though, that would be insane following a C-section just 4 months ago.

Would you keep the baby?
Absolutely. I would just go out of my mind having two that close together LOL

Would the father be in the picture?
Since we are happily married, I would assume so.

Do you have the resources to raise a child?
My husband makes $70K/year and owns our home, so yes.

[actuallydear]

What would you do if you found out you were pregnant right now? Would you be happy/disappointed/shocked/etc?

absolutely ecstatic! my husband and i have been TTCing for nearly 4 years and currently doing fertility treatments, so... we would definitely be over the moon!

Would you keep the baby?
yes, yes, yes!

Would the father be in the picture?
yes. we're happily married and have been actively trying to become parents for years now, so it'd be pretty terrible if i were to say no.

Do you have the resources to raise a child?
yes, most definitely.

[Alinama]

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