The Lindquists

[zelda2011]

She’s also making comments on the baby’s rolls. You can tell it’s not in the normal mum way of “awww look at you you’re so chubby and cute”. More like haha! She’s got rolls! It’s okay because she’s a baby!!!!!

[TeachIT]

ANOTHER post about "Lets talk postpartum bodies" on facebook. What the actual F? ANOTHER??? there's 2 instagram posts (at least?) .. how many blog posts... what is going on here? Each one has slightly different wording but basically the same. She must really hate herself on a daily basis and have to write down over and over that SHE IS CHOOSING TO LOVE HER BODY

I think she’s been so proud to be known as the “woman who stayed fit with abs during pregnancy”, and “bounced back” twice quickly/easily. So now she needs to constantly remind us that she’s fat right now ON PURPOSE because BODY POSITIVE and not because she’s lazy, uneducated on nutrition, or because her wELLEness plan doesn’t work. So regular reminders to us, UNTIL she’s able to starve herself and then she’ll go back to posting daily sports bra flex shots #noexcuses #postpartumtransformation


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[okaythatlldo]

I think she must have seen my post here about her family photo and how she went on and on about how much they all adore her hahaha.

Her latest insta post is all about #THEBOYS and how much they mean to her.

I will never understand why she is tying up so much of her “identity” in the sexes of her children? I have never ever in my life heard someone make such a big deal out of it.

“We have two boys and are thrilled to be adding a girl to our family! What a surprise!” (or whatever combination you can think of) is honestly about as far as it goes for 99.9% of the population. I’ve never seen anyone get obsessive or giddy, or in the case of this post, unnecessarily analytical like she does.


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[TeachIT]

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I’ll leave this here for Elle when she’s stalking. She thinks her body positive/ anti-diet culture mOoD is totally compatible with her sickeningly thin after shots next to her post partum body (she did this with both Forde and Cohen). But it just isn’t.


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[okaythatlldo]

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I’ll leave this here for Elle when she’s stalking. She thinks her body positive/ anti-diet culture mOoD is totally compatible with her sickeningly thin after shots next to her post partum body (she did this with both Forde and Cohen). But it just isn’t.


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Oh but she does it to be “transparent.”


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[fossilfinger]

I thought most people got to a certain point where they don't care that much about their looks. I can't imagine the exhaustion of having a new baby (which I'm going through right now) plus two other kids and being that obsessed with your size. Of course you're going to think about it, but to ruminate over it to such an extent...who has time for that?!?

[okaythatlldo]

I just saw the July video schedule on her stories...did she spell Brighton wrong??? Definitely looks to me like she wrote Brighten...

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[Margie]

“THE DAY I COULDN’T SEE!!!” aka “the day my vision adjusted, as it does, and my vision was slightly blurrier than it should have been, so I casually booked an appointment to have it checked out”

[Notablogger]

No comment about the photo of her that she used for her eye ad.

[TeachIT]

“THE DAY I COULDN’T SEE!!!” aka “the day my vision adjusted, as it does, and my vision was slightly blurrier than it should have been, so I casually booked an appointment to have it checked out”

I’m rolling “THE DAY THE WORLD WENT DARK FORVERRRRRR” #sponsored


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[TeachIT]

No comment about the photo of her that she used for her eye ad.

All I can think, being the same age as her, is we look similar (bags, puffy, wrinkles) but I haven’t paid for all those fillers and surgeries! Whew. Glad to know it all wears off and you look worse anyway


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[Margie]

Managed to screen grab this the other day. Enjoy :

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But seriously, she looks rough lately. The photo she used for the ophthalmology advertisement really shows how much effort she has put into this campaign... her brands need to find better sponsors!

[TeachIT]

Managed to screen grab this the other day. Enjoy :

E2D7B41B-5310-4385-93CD-4D6F1F5F13DF.png

But seriously, she looks rough lately. The photo she used for the ophthalmology advertisement really shows how much effort she has put into this campaign... her brands need to find better sponsors!

Her upper lip deflated SO much faster than her lower lip and now she looks more uneven than before.


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[ForeverGauc01]

Managed to screen grab this the other day. Enjoy :

E2D7B41B-5310-4385-93CD-4D6F1F5F13DF.png

But seriously, she looks rough lately. The photo she used for the ophthalmology advertisement really shows how much effort she has put into this campaign... her brands need to find better sponsors!

She’s doing that weird thing she does where she squints her face to adjust her glasses, and pulls her upper lip over her teeth. She’s just not an attractive person


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[Margie]

Good god, her snorty breathing that she’s been doing in all of her instastories.... all I can think is “is she so overweight that it’s causibg breathing problems?” Because that’s what it sounds like, and I’m sure she never did that before...

[TeachIT]

RECAP: 1 month POST PARTUM

Elle is weirdly giddy/giggly and it’s very grating.

Remember when she asked viewers if they want monthly updates on baby or more spaced out (3,6,9 months)? And if we wanted her post partum bOdY info on the same video? She CLAIMS that people wanted monthly and two different videos. Of course that’s less shitty content she has to actually think about. Just STREEEEEEETCH these updates as much as you can, Elle. Your channel will crash and burn soon.

She shows all of Blankie‘ rolls and explains its all because of Elle’s breastfeeding success! She IS basically a lactation consultant now. She recommends the haaka, Elvie pump, AND Medela ... so get out your pocketbooks new moms, these are all NEWBORN ESSENTIALS if you don’t want your baby to starve.

Blankette doesn’t sleep well. Color me SHOCKED that the expensive bassinet doesn’t work (Elle never mentions the basinette lol she knows it was a giant fuck up to buy). She will only sleep 2-4 hour bursts. Honestly, I don’t know what Elle expects from a newborn?

Blankie prefers a cheap graco vibrating seat to the mamaroo of course Elle won’t flat out admit she doesn’t like the mamaroo (she can’t! She’s vying for a West Coast Kids sponsorship!) so she claims that her kids “don’t like swings until 6 weeks old”. Okayyyy Elle.

Elle has a very controlling plan to get baby to sleep, don’t worry. Our sleep E-guide queen won’t let us down, she’ll force this baby to sleep.

She thinks maybe Blankette is “ginger”. As the mother of an actual redhead, NO ELLE she isn’t. Elle even tries to claim that her own hair is between “strawberry blonde” and “platinum” Elle your hair is whatever color you’re dying it that month.

Actual quote “nipple confusion is total crap” - elle doesn’t believe in it and has gotten Blankie to take a binky AND it’s one that comes in cool colors!! Whew! Elle is SO excited that the one her baby likes fits her aesthetic.

Lot of poop talk. LOTS of details. Are people wanting to hear this? Weird. Elle cackles at her own “poop-tsunami” joke AGAIN. Talks about using sudocreme (I wonder what happened to her vagina friendly cream from Whole Foods??) and using the Frida Windi. Poop talk transitions to fart talk. LOTS of details again.

No PPD she claims because she’s had so much help. Dan took 3 weeks off, plus her doula slaves.

Body update:
135/140 pounds before pregnancy
180 pounds giving birth
166.5 lbs now

“I don’t care if I never get my pre-baby body back. If my stretch mark (I got one) never goes away, my cellulite never goes away, I’m totally fine with that. I just want to share the journey”

Suuuuure.

She’s considering not sharing numbers anymore but will post a poll (that she will manipulate/exaggerate the results of to whatever she WANTS to do).

Lots of belly shots. I don’t understand the purpose of that? I’m not being snarky. Why does she feel like all she has to offer the world is showing her body?



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[SuperchicDeadpool]

I want to scream my head off every time someone says "my newborn doesn't sleep well! Only a couple hours at a time!"

THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL! THAT *IS* SLEEPING WELL FOR A NEWBORN! Even well into early toddlerhood 4 hour stretches are very normal. It frustrates me even more that she's taking advantage of the misinformed "good baby" rhetoric to shill her friggin e-book. Consider me peeved.

[ForeverGauc01]

She’s ALREADY trying to slee train her one month old WHAT THE FUCK. Honestly I think it’s incredibly selfish. Newborn have a really fucked up sleep schedule and I do think it’s okay to “guide” them into learning the difference between night and day, but she’s straight up sleep training. Purely for her own selfish reasons. You chose to have another baby Elle, that’s like signing a contract stating that you know you’ll be tired but you’ll accept it, because it doesn’t last forever. Fuck she’s so annoying.
And HOW ABOUT THAT! The $1500 bassinet doesn’t work for baby blankette. She likes the “cheap”, not aesthetically pleasing Graco bouncer. Suck on that Elle.


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[ForeverGauc01]

Oh and of course dainty little baby GIRL blankette didn’t know how to fart or poop because she’s a GIRL and GIRLS don’t know how to do that. Did you know she’s a GIRL? She had to be taught how to fart and poop.
I literally saw my brain from rolling my eyes so hard.


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[Notablogger]

I will say that she looks great for one month post partum. Now who knows if she’s already dieting but if she stayed in this weight range I think she’d look better.