Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21

[Playsinrain]

Could be the kids choice though, we don't know that Gaines didn't crawl into her moms lap or Brooks in his dads.. just seems super nitpicky to me. Who cares which parent's lap they sit in?

[HelloSweetie]

Could be the kids choice though, we don't know that Gaines didn't crawl into her moms lap or Brooks in his dads.. just seems super nitpicky to me. Who cares which parent's lap they sit in?

I see your point. I still think that there are some bonding issues there, and more can be done to encourage bonding if the children each have such a strong preference for one child over another (which does seem to be the case). I can definitely relate to a child having a preference though.


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[lmmomSD]

Could be the kids choice though, we don't know that Gaines didn't crawl into her moms lap or Brooks in his dads.. just seems super nitpicky to me. Who cares which parent's lap they sit in?

I see your point. I still think that there are some bonding issues there, and more can be done to encourage bonding if the children each have such a strong preference for one child over another (which does seem to be the case). I can definitely relate to a child having a preference though.


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Yeah, what get me is the fact that it's always this way, and appears to be encouraged. One isolated incident isn't a big deal, you're right. But Katie seems to push Brooks aside. Maybe he climbs into Cullen's lap because he doesn't feel welcome in Katie's.
Look at her Instagram. There are lots of pictures of the family, and Gaines and Brooks, and Katie and Gaines, but very few of just Brooks and Katie. And just about every post about Brooks mentions some negative trait. But she loves him in spite of it. Whereas Gaines is perfect.

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[lovingthisforum]

It's always Gaines with Katie and Brooks with Cullen. That is not natural. That is Katie's doing.

It's really obvious. It's _always_ Katie and Gaines and Brooks and Cullen. Even making breakfast, it's "the boys". Going shopping for Christmas presents-- Katie and Gaines went together, and Cullen took Brooks.
The kids sitting on their laps is fine. It's that it's always Gaines sitting on Katie's lap.

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Ya, it's even when they go shopping with the 4 of them, it is Katie who pushes her kart with Gaines in it and Cullen is with Brooks in his kart. It's since the very beginning. Even when Brooks was a baby he was with Cullen, even more unnatural for a baby to be with the father. But I can't judge, it's human and things can happen in life. But it's annoying and sad and frustrating to watch. And Katie is so damn arrogant....and stubborn that she doesn't show any signs of trying to change her feelings. Yes she smiles to Brooks fortunately (for instance when he so sweetly pointed his finger when he said I love You, and Katie responded with a warm smile to him), but she can be unnecessarily negative to him, openly in vlogs for the world to see, as well. She's really biased, in both directions: too negative to Brooks and too positive to Gaines.

[Scar2016]

I think both Hello Sweetie and Faking It have equally valid points. It's possible C&K are still currently able to meet their monthly bills as per Faking It's surmising but that they are definitely not in a position to be saving adequately, let alone comfortably, for college funds and retirement as per HS's postulations. Excuse me if I've misinterpreted either of you but my bet is on them relying heavily on Dolly and Doc's inheritance to fill a large and looming gap that neither Cullen or Katie seem willing/are too lazy to fill.

[lovingthisforum]

Could be the kids choice though, we don't know that Gaines didn't crawl into her moms lap or Brooks in his dads.. just seems super nitpicky to me. Who cares which parent's lap they sit in?

Being rigid and non-flexibility is never a good sign. And when there is a structural pattern, there is an underlying principle (or source) which is causing it. Also children don't chose, it's the interaction between parent and child from the start, and which starts with the parents. Small children don't have words, but we have instinct when we are born. Katie has distanced herself from Brooks almost since his birth because he equates Cullen with whom she was on the verge of divorcing. Herein too lays her bias by the way, in that she is seeing the things as too black-and-white. Literally everything of Brooks is like Cullen and everything of Gaines is like her. Also, everything of Brooks is negative and everything of Gaines is positive. Not realistic obviously.

For instance when she accused Brooks of not wanting to hug her "just like Cullen", Gaines on the other hand....oh Gaines was "just like her" in wanting to snuggle with people (she generalized it here and made it into a character statement, externalizing her own problem). The underlying tone was 'wanting to snuggle' is good and not wanting to snuggle is bad. Katie divides her family into two camps: the good and the bad, lol. (Classic Borderline gesture also, with narcissistic outcome of the golden child.) But but but....later it appeared Brooks _did_ want to snuggle with her and also wanted to snuggle with people in general, for instance we saw it mainly with Cullen (because Brooks felt Katie didn't want him, and Cullen lives in the house, not his grandparents f.i., and we have seen him also with Bennett - we have also seen affection from the girls with him, not so much from Gaines, to be clear I mean I have never seen affection from Gaines for Brooks). So her statement about his character is proven wrong. So this is an example of too black-and-white that everything of Brooks would be like Cullen. No Brooks needs affection just like you do. (And Brooks does accept you.) It's not Brooks, it's Katie, her projection of her own underlying feelings, and not a statement about reality. She shouldn't blame Brooks for her feelings. But that is easier said than done.

There are other examples like worms and such, where Katie was proven wrong. Brooks also wants to play with worms just like Katie....and Gaines....and like Cullen who must have also done this as a child. And with this incidence Katie was busy with and focusing on Gaines and praising her how much she loved it that Gaines was so much like her in wanting to play with worms, while Brooks and Cullen were a couple of feet away in the garden, so here again: division. Katie is constantly busy with and focusing on Gaines. I mean, they were going to do a shot about BROOKS' new bed, and who do we see coming together from the right into the field of camera, the larger one caressing the hair of her child?? (It was just before the shot would start and Cullen hadn't cut this.) It's constantly stick-stick-stick-stick-stick, it's just too much. Katie's love for Gaines is not healthy. I thought this whole family division into two camps was obvious, the vlogs are full of them, it's too much to write all down in here...

Anyway, let's hope everything will be fine in the future.

[Playsinrain]

Could be the kids choice though, we don't know that Gaines didn't crawl into her moms lap or Brooks in his dads.. just seems super nitpicky to me. Who cares which parent's lap they sit in?

Being rigid and non-flexibility is never a good sign. And when there is a structural pattern, there is an underlying principle (or source) which is causing it. Also children don't chose, it's the interaction between parent and child from the start, and which starts with the parents. Small children don't have words, but we have instinct when we are born. Katie has distanced herself from Brooks almost since his birth because he equates Cullen with whom she was on the verge of divorcing. Herein too lays her bias by the way, in that she is seeing the things as too black-and-white. Literally everything of Brooks is like Cullen and everything of Gaines is like her. Also, everything of Brooks is negative and everything of Gaines is positive. Not realistic obviously.

For instance when she accused Brooks of not wanting to hug her "just like Cullen", Gaines on the other hand....oh Gaines was "just like her" in wanting to snuggle with people (she generalized it here and made it into a character statement, externalizing her own problem). The underlying tone was 'wanting to snuggle' is good and not wanting to snuggle is bad. Katie divides her family into two camps: the good and the bad, lol. (Classic Borderline gesture also, with narcissistic outcome of the golden child.) But but but....later it appeared Brooks _did_ want to snuggle with her and also wanted to snuggle with people in general, for instance we saw it mainly with Cullen (because Brooks felt Katie didn't want him, and Cullen lives in the house, not his grandparents f.i., and we have seen him also with Bennett - we have also seen affection from the girls with him, not so much from Gaines, to be clear I mean I have never seen affection from Gaines for Brooks). So her statement about his character is proven wrong. So this is an example of too black-and-white that everything of Brooks would be like Cullen. No Brooks needs affection just like you do. (And Brooks does accept you.) It's not Brooks, it's Katie, her projection of her own underlying feelings, and not a statement about reality. She shouldn't blame Brooks for her feelings. But that is easier said than done.

There are other examples like worms and such, where Katie was proven wrong. Brooks also wants to play with worms just like Katie....and Gaines....and like Cullen who must have also done this as a child. And with this incidence Katie was busy with and focusing on Gaines and praising her how much she loved it that Gaines was so much like her in wanting to play with worms, while Brooks and Cullen were a couple of feet away in the garden, so here again: division. Katie is constantly busy with and focusing on Gaines. I mean, they were going to do a shot about BROOKS' new bed, and who do we see coming together from the right into the field of camera, the larger one caressing the hair of her child?? (It was just before the shot would start and Cullen hadn't cut this.) It's constantly stick-stick-stick-stick-stick, it's just too much. Katie's love for Gaines is not healthy. I thought this whole family division into two camps was obvious, the vlogs are full of them, it's too much to write all down in here...

Anyway, let's hope everything will be fine in the future.

I respect your opinion, but i reallllly think we are over analyzing the kids choice of laps to sit in at a show. \
I also don't agree with "Katie's love for Gaines is not healthy..." no mother should be chastised for loving her child.

[Playsinrain]

It's always Gaines with Katie and Brooks with Cullen. That is not natural. That is Katie's doing.

It's really obvious. It's _always_ Katie and Gaines and Brooks and Cullen. Even making breakfast, it's "the boys". Going shopping for Christmas presents-- Katie and Gaines went together, and Cullen took Brooks.
The kids sitting on their laps is fine. It's that it's always Gaines sitting on Katie's lap.

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Ya, it's even when they go shopping with the 4 of them, it is Katie who pushes her kart with Gaines in it and Cullen is with Brooks in his kart. It's since the very beginning. Even when Brooks was a baby he was with Cullen, even more unnatural for a baby to be with the father. But I can't judge, it's human and things can happen in life. But it's annoying and sad and frustrating to watch. And Katie is so damn arrogant....and stubborn that she doesn't show any signs of trying to change her feelings. Yes she smiles to Brooks fortunately (for instance when he so sweetly pointed his finger when he said I love You, and Katie responded with a warm smile to him), but she can be unnecessarily negative to him, openly in vlogs for the world to see, as well. She's really biased, in both directions: too negative to Brooks and too positive to Gaines.

I wholeheartedly disagree with this. There is nothing unnatural about a baby being with it's father. Period. My husband raised my stepson by himself from the age of 6 weeks until he was 9 months old (when he and i started dating) bc my son's mother abandoned them (basically, she chose drugs over her child) and there is nothing unnatural or wrong about that. Sure, i'm projecting right now, but this statement is very harmful to single fathers other there.

[lmmomSD]

Maybe "unnatural" is taking it too far, but mothers (and fathers) can definitely have unhealthy attachments to their kids. Saying that all mother love is healthy and natural is naive. I don't know exactly how unhealthy Katie's relationship with Gaines is, but there are tons of examples of some unhealthy attitudes. Gaines is "just like me", which equals good. Brooks is "difficult", even though I see just as much whiny stubborn behavior from Gaines.

And again, it's not just the one incident of the kids sitting on the lap of the same gender parent that we're talking about. If it was an isolated incident, and the kids switched off easily between the parents, I don't think anyone would have noticed it.
But I don't want to keep beating a dead horse. Agree to disagree.

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[Playsinrain]

Maybe "unnatural" is taking it too far, but mothers (and fathers) can definitely have unhealthy attachments to their kids. Saying that all mother love is healthy and natural is naive. I don't know exactly how unhealthy Katie's relationship with Gaines is, but there are tons of examples of some unhealthy attitudes. Gaines is "just like me", which equals good. Brooks is "difficult", even though I see just as much whiny stubborn behavior from Gaines.

And again, it's not just the one incident of the kids sitting on the lap of the same gender parent that we're talking about. If it was an isolated incident, and the kids switched off easily between the parents, I don't think anyone would have noticed it.
But I don't want to keep beating a dead horse. Agree to disagree.

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I do agree that some “love” can be damaging, but I don’t see this extreme with Katie. I’ve not ever once seen Katie push Brooks away from getting affection, I’ve never seen Brooks upset or not want to be around his mother, and I have seen her comfort him appropriately. Does Katie seem to favor Gaines? Sure. I guess you could say that, but I don’t see it to the point where it is damaging Brooks. Everyone gets so bent out of shape over things like Katie pushing a buggy with Gaines in it... in the grand scheme of things it’s NOT that big of a deal. When brooks was born Cullen and Gaines spent a lot of time together. Cullen takes both the kids on outings on the regular. They both spend time with both the kids. Agree to disagree but I really think people blow things out of proportion just to have something to pick apart.

[HelloSweetie]

Katie plays favourites. We’ve all commented on it from time to time. Gaines is far more demanding than Brooks is, so if she wanted to sit with Katie, but Brooks also did, Gaines would win out most of the time.

Most parents would try to work on their relationship if they let felt one child wasn’t as close to them. I don’t think overconfident Katie would even ever notice a need for improvement though.



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[queenc13]

Wait....Gaines has the flu, and they take them to an event where 1000's of other people were?


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I was just coming here to comment on that. She needs breakfast in bed, but let's take her out to expose everyone.
Didn't any of them get a flu shot?
And girls can't like Spiderman? Gaines really needs a haircut. I know Katie likes to pretend Gaines is a princess, but real princesses keep their hair trimmed. Those ends are getting straggly.
Brooks is trying to get attention, and stuffs his mouth full of food, then sticks his face in the camera, shows everyone his mouthful of food, and then spits it out. Katie just says "No, they don't want to see that" sort of under her breath, and kept on filming herself yammering.
And Katie, you're not an OB GYN, and especially not Britany's. You don't say to a first time mother, "If she turned, she's in trouble!" The look on Britany's face was awful. You don't say shit like that to a woman who is "officially on baby watch" with her first baby. Speaking of which, using Britany's baby to try and get views? She was in the video for about 2 minutes at most.


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Absolutely don’t think they should have taken her out, but getting the flu shot does not mean someone won’t get the flu. There are many strains of the flu. Influenza A is going around like crazy this year while in 2017/18 it was B.
I think they vaccinate their children.

[woahnow]

Are they back to daily uploads?

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[lovingthisforum]

Maybe "unnatural" is taking it too far, but mothers (and fathers) can definitely have unhealthy attachments to their kids. Saying that all mother love is healthy and natural is naive. I don't know exactly how unhealthy Katie's relationship with Gaines is, but there are tons of examples of some unhealthy attitudes. Gaines is "just like me", which equals good. Brooks is "difficult", even though I see just as much whiny stubborn behavior from Gaines.

And again, it's not just the one incident of the kids sitting on the lap of the same gender parent that we're talking about. If it was an isolated incident, and the kids switched off easily between the parents, I don't think anyone would have noticed it.
But I don't want to keep beating a dead horse. Agree to disagree.

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No that is totally not what I mean and I have never said ALL mother love. You two are laying words in my mouth I never said, not even implied. It is a fact though that it is more natural for mothers to be with their babies and that fathers are getting more interested in the baby when it is getting older and more active and when they can do stuff with them. Maybe the term 'nature' is not so much in fashion in the US because there are still many people being religious. But for me, nature is the standard and a normal and neutral word to use. It _is_ more natural for mothers to take the baby. And there is nothing wrong with that. Nor is it wrong that a father substitutes this role when the mother is absent. What Playsinrain is saying just doesn't make sense as a reply to me, she gives an example with a father whose wife left, which is totally besides the point. Of course the father is going to baby the baby. The point is that it says something about Katie that Brooks is _always_ with Cullen, even more so when he was a baby.

[lovingthisforum]

I respect your opinion, but i reallllly think we are over analyzing the kids choice of laps to sit in at a show. \
I also don't agree with "Katie's love for Gaines is not healthy..." no mother should be chastised for loving her child.

Too much and/or an unhealthy kind of love for a child is a possibility though. It is how narcissists were being raised...

[lovingthisforum]

Aww that was a nice vlog, I enjoyed how they were just talking in the bed.

[Toodles123]

Aww that was a nice vlog, I enjoyed how they were just talking in the bed.

It felt like an ole day original vlog.

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[Playsinrain]

Maybe "unnatural" is taking it too far, but mothers (and fathers) can definitely have unhealthy attachments to their kids. Saying that all mother love is healthy and natural is naive. I don't know exactly how unhealthy Katie's relationship with Gaines is, but there are tons of examples of some unhealthy attitudes. Gaines is "just like me", which equals good. Brooks is "difficult", even though I see just as much whiny stubborn behavior from Gaines.

And again, it's not just the one incident of the kids sitting on the lap of the same gender parent that we're talking about. If it was an isolated incident, and the kids switched off easily between the parents, I don't think anyone would have noticed it.
But I don't want to keep beating a dead horse. Agree to disagree.

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No that is totally not what I mean and I have never said ALL mother love. You two are laying words in my mouth I never said, not even implied. It is a fact though that it is more natural for mothers to be with their babies and that fathers are getting more interested in the baby when it is getting older and more active and when they can do stuff with them. Maybe the term 'nature' is not so much in fashion in the US because there are still many people being religious. But for me, nature is the standard and a normal and neutral word to use. It _is_ more natural for mothers to take the baby. And there is nothing wrong with that. Nor is it wrong that a father substitutes this role when the mother is absent. What Playsinrain is saying just doesn't make sense as a reply to me, she gives an example with a father whose wife left, which is totally besides the point. Of course the father is going to baby the baby. The point is that it says something about Katie that Brooks is _always_ with Cullen, even more so when he was a baby.

But you make it sound like It’s wrong and unnatural for a father to be very involved and hands on when the baby is a newborn. Like the more hands on the father is, the “worse” (for lack of better words) the mother is. I just don’t agree with that and I just think it’s absolutely fine for Cullen to have been a hands on dad with brooks.

[lovingthisforum]

No that is totally not what I mean and I have never said ALL mother love. You two are laying words in my mouth I never said, not even implied. It is a fact though that it is more natural for mothers to be with their babies and that fathers are getting more interested in the baby when it is getting older and more active and when they can do stuff with them. Maybe the term 'nature' is not so much in fashion in the US because there are still many people being religious. But for me, nature is the standard and a normal and neutral word to use. It _is_ more natural for mothers to take the baby. And there is nothing wrong with that. Nor is it wrong that a father substitutes this role when the mother is absent. What Playsinrain is saying just doesn't make sense as a reply to me, she gives an example with a father whose wife left, which is totally besides the point. Of course the father is going to baby the baby. The point is that it says something about Katie that Brooks is _always_ with Cullen, even more so when he was a baby.

But you make it sound like It’s wrong and unnatural for a father to be very involved and hands on when the baby is a newborn. Like the more hands on the father is, the “worse” (for lack of better words) the mother is. I just don’t agree with that and I just think it’s absolutely fine for Cullen to have been a hands on dad with brooks.

I am sorry but I disagree that I make it sound that way. In fact, I appreciate Cullen for being a good father for _both_ of his kids, has nothing to do with Brooks. I really like it how much involved he is with the kids, it's been a while that I'm conscientiously aware and enjoying this while watching even. You shouldn't read what's not there nor blame me.

[Playsinrain]

I guess I just feel like there is a better way to discuss Katie’s favoritism (bc I don’t disagree that it’s there) without dragging Cullen for being hands on. I don’t think Cullen’s willingness to be a dad to his kids should be used as an excuse for Katie picking favorites.