8 Passengers: Do Not Obey & They Send You Away | Part #13

[Ducklings4]

If there were pictures of minor girls in various degrees of dress and Chad responded in kind that could be considered child pornography and they better make sure none of that can come back on Chad.


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[notyomama]

I don't care if she doesn't give her kids social media, I think its a privilege not a right. BUT I think its ridiculous to say he was gaining his personality through the girls hitting on him (using it to get a big head) when that's literally what she does for a living. He's watching you, digbat.

[LuckyCharm]

I was thinking the same thing. She sits there and feels like a #powerfulmother because she gets all these comments telling her how great of a mom she is and little kids saying they wish she would adopt them. She gets off on the ig and ya praise, but for chad that’s bad. Hypocrite.

[SwiftlyD]

I don't care if she doesn't give her kids social media, I think its a privilege not a right. BUT I think its ridiculous to say he was gaining his personality through the girls hitting on him (using it to get a big head) when that's literally what she does for a living. He's watching you, digbat.

I just don't love that they deleted it for him without talking with him when he got back because I bet you with all the "maturing" he's doing hell just got instagram against ion after he gets back so deleting it doesn't serve a purpose really

[lmmomSD]

I was thinking the same thing. She sits there and feels like a #powerfulmother because she gets all these comments telling her how great of a mom she is and little kids saying they wish she would adopt them. She gets off on the ig and ya praise, but for chad that’s bad. Hypocrite.

I get her point about YT being neutral. The things they do aren't YouTube's "fault". Ironically though, Bonnie blamed YT for the behavior that got her demonetized. But anyway, Ruby is right that whatever is going on with Chad isn't the fault of YT. It's how SHE has used YouTube to exploit her kids and make money that is the problem.
She's not an "advocate for mothers". As has been said, she gets all these kids telling her what a great mom she is (which I don't get-- she stays in bed and lets her kids fend for themselves in the morning, she uses their problems for clickbait, and controls their access to the internet. They aren't even allowed to go on Google unsupervised. So I _really_ don't get the whole "I wish you were my mom" bit. Except for Shari, have any of the kids been able to choose a sport/activity and keep up with it?
I feel like I'm saying a lot and not really making my point. There's just so much wrong with what she's doing with Chad. I wish so badly that she would read here with an open mind because so many of you have made excellent points. But we're just all haterzzzz.

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[Bethypooh51]

I was that parent who took away Instagram, Snapchat and every other platform that I thought was a bad influence on my daughter. My daughter found a way around everything we took away. She was chatting with players on games that we thought were innocent, she made her own email accounts on platforms we didn’t know about using different servers at school and on friends phones. She was very smart and very resourceful in her sneakiness. It is better to teach them how to be safe on all social media platforms then it is to ban it completely because they will find a way around it and then they will just being lying to you. I think it would have been a better lesson for Chad for them all to sit down and discuss it and have him delete it himself so he can own the decision because honestly Instagram is not the only problem out there, but it is the only one Ruby sees.


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[Vincere]

So they blame instagram while they created and maintain an Instagram account for Russel and eve who are not even the allowed age of 13 to have one.
Even Ellie has accounts for all 3 of her boys.

If Chad would want more time off yt I doubt he will be offered that because Ruby and Kevin and Shari have milked this story so much that they will need to have answers from Chad, how it was there, the homecoming, how much he has changed and all that.

[YTIG60]

I really hope she and Kevin understand that this will be an ongoing, sometimes gradual process of change and healing for Chad and his relationship with them. What he really needs is a private, non-religious therapist to help him deal with the combination of both the usual teenage issues and those that come with having an oddball like Ruby for a mother and the pressures of the family vlog. I'm a fan of Dr. Drew, and I can't help but wonder what it would be like to sit him down with each of the family members one-on-one and analyze them (besides the youngest two).

As much as I kind of like following the drama (like watching a train wreck) and find Abby and Julie to be interesting/fun to watch, I wouldn't be sad or disappointed at all if Ruby one day announced that they had made enough money and were shutting the vlog down to once a week or even entirely. I'd be really happy for those kids!

I think Ruby and Kevin's fear is leading them to become more controlling with Chad. I agree about a private non-religious therapist would be helpful. I believe their children deserve privacy so if their channel went away, I'd be happy for all of them too.

[callie73]

I think she's delusional. She claims chad will be coming home to different parents... they act the same at least on camera.

[Manitowoc123]

I know that this is a old topic that was probably talked about a lot on here but since R&K deleted Chad's instagram account I figured it's related. I have a huge problem with the fact they give there kids the "freedom" of having a phone but heavily monitor/track what they do on them. I understand the internet is a scary place for parents and I'm not trying to downplay that but there's also something to be said for letting them learn to use it on thier own and come to them if something makes them uncomfortable. When I was 16 I got myself in to a dangerous situation with someone that lived in my city and lied about his age. It would've been really easy for my parents to track my internet activity after that but they didn't because they trusted me to come to them if that happened again. I just think that teenagers need a sense of freedom and having a phone can give it to them but being able to have it taken away for basically anything R&K deem inappropriate use/not being responsible and respectful in other parts of your life sucks. Maybe I come from a privileged place because I don't have kids and my parents were so understanding with me but I feel bad for those kids. Also my parents never had a set grade that I had to maintain in every class or I got something taken away. I kinda think that might add a bunch of uneeded stress on kids maybe that's part of why Chad is so unhappy as they say he is. Some kids just aren't academically smart but are amazingly smart in other areas.

I agree with you but there are all sorts of parenting styles and no way would ruby allow such unrequited freedom. That’s the way I parent my own children and it can work but then, I also don’t require them to be the same religion as me.

[Manitowoc123]

I was that parent who took away Instagram, Snapchat and every other platform that I thought was a bad influence on my daughter. My daughter found a way around everything we took away. She was chatting with players on games that we thought were innocent, she made her own email accounts on platforms we didn’t know about using different servers at school and on friends phones. She was very smart and very resourceful in her sneakiness. It is better to teach them how to be safe on all social media platforms then it is to ban it completely because they will find a way around it and then they will just being lying to you. I think it would have been a better lesson for Chad for them all to sit down and discuss it and have him delete it himself so he can own the decision because honestly Instagram is not the only problem out there, but it is the only one Ruby sees.


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Bravo!! Couldn’t agree more! One of my teenagers was the same way.
When we took away his social media, he suddenly became very interested in xbox and talking with people that way. And you’re so right about making different email accounts!! We had a “come to Jesus” talk with him and ourselves and explained all the consequences of behavior and then let him make his own choices. After a few months on socials, he decided to quit them by himself because he saw that it could lead to very bad choices.

I’m telling you - i grew up in this Mormon culture - super orthodox Mormon parents are so so controlling of their youth. It’s part of their religion.

[CoolDad]

I agree with almost everything said in the last posts and if I may add: monetizing their YT videos and Instagram account is not a big issue, well depending on the quality of their videos as opposed to exploit her kids and teens feelings, frustrations and private live; the real problem is that it looks like they also monetize their inner family relationships. It appears that everything inside that family has a price tag attached, feelings, actions and emotions have a cost instead of a non financial value!

They have built not only a disposable relationship family pattern but also a family that gets rewarded with money, perks and gifts instead of true and unconditional love, support, friendship and involvement.
I think it is almost a dependency now, a way to meet their materialistic goals. How "can" Chad (or any other) leave the online team now? How will he feel seeing brands/sponsors sending money, expensive gifts,... to his siblings and none for him since he would be a "ghost" on that house and family dynamic? Would they delete him from online presence? Blur his face and body to avoid any comments? Or would they "delete" and "blur" him truly from both online and real live?
It is not only their dynamic as a family that is dysfunctional, it looks like their values are also becoming chaotic, but no regards and no guilt since they pray a lot and attend sunday service ohh and read a lot of self help books...

The main issue was Ruby don't understanding (a couple of years ago) when to stop and not crossing the line into her family private live. But hey... money and "fame" felt good, so why not push a little more into less privacy, after all the views and likes were rising... Here comes the result now: check please!

p.s.- Ruby and Kevin having another child is completely out of question right? 100% discarded? Even if that would mean so many new videos, changing the focus and since they are the greatest parents in YT... Yeah no, of course not, and even if Ruby had that idea Kevin would be conscious and mature enough to understand when to say no

[lmmomSD]

Kevin had a vasectomy. So no worries about another kid.

Why do we know that? Talk about an overshare!

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[PBandJelly]

I agree with almost everything said in the last posts and if I may add: monetizing their YT videos and Instagram account is not a big issue, well depending on the quality of their videos as opposed to exploit her kids and teens feelings, frustrations and private live; the real problem is that it looks like they also monetize their inner family relationships. It appears that everything inside that family has a price tag attached, feelings, actions and emotions have a cost instead of a non financial value!

They have built not only a disposable relationship family pattern but also a family that gets rewarded with money, perks and gifts instead of true and unconditional love, support, friendship and involvement.
I think it is almost a dependency now, a way to meet their materialistic goals. How "can" Chad (or any other) leave the online team now? How will he feel seeing brands/sponsors sending money, expensive gifts,... to his siblings and none for him since he would be a "ghost" on that house and family dynamic? Would they delete him from online presence? Blur his face and body to avoid any comments? Or would they "delete" and "blur" him truly from both online and real live?
It is not only their dynamic as a family that is dysfunctional, it looks like their values are also becoming chaotic, but no regards and no guilt since they pray a lot and attend sunday service ohh and read a lot of self help books...

The main issue was Ruby don't understanding (a couple of years ago) when to stop and not crossing the line into her family private live. But hey... money and "fame" felt good, so why not push a little more into less privacy, after all the views and likes were rising... Here comes the result now: check please!

p.s.- Ruby and Kevin having another child is completely out of question right? 100% discarded? Even if that would mean so many new videos, changing the focus and since they are the greatest parents in YT... Yeah no, of course not, and even if Ruby had that idea Kevin would be conscious and mature enough to understand when to say no

YES to all of this! Ruby is putting on major blinders because she likes her upgraded lifestyle too much. There are so many unknowns for these youtube kids. And for Ruby's kids, it isn't just their 8 person family that lives the youtube life, it is their entire extended family including their grandparent!. If they truly do not like vlogging, it must feel like there is no safe space.

I know the cameras aren't recording 24/7 but it is the constant lingering possibility and pressure of "what if i do something or say something and i'm asked to repeat it for the camera or mom/grandma/aunt wants to talk about it on camera". Talk about anxiety inducing. Even if the kid is asked for their permission, those kids don't have enough self-awareness or the words to indicate their discomfort (that's basically what Ruby said was happening with Chad and instagram, right?).

[natalka81]

I started seeing a therapist when I was 13. I was very private about it and didn't want anyone to know. I'm not saying kids should be ashamed of having mental health challenges, but I would have been absolutely mortified if my mother had talked about my therapy to everyone she knew let alone a world-wide audience of over 1 million people. Honestly, I think it should be against the law. I feel very sorry for Chad.

[Happy+Charlie]

Definitely needs to be more laws protecting children and hopefully YT is taking steps to do so next year. Until a child is 18, the parents have access to, and can communicate with health care professionals. Just because they are privy to this information, it should not mean they can share it with the world. As I've said before, it comes down to respect. Ruby has no respect for her children, sharing with the world stuff that should be controlled and private for the family. In many families, siblings may not even know what is going on with one another because their parent(s) respect the privacy of their child, and will make it only between themselves and the affected child. Then here we have Ruby sharing with 1M+ because she asks their permission on camera to share. Who believes those kids are not influenced in making their decision to share or not by crap they are fed off camera. Ruby telling the, "come on, lets vlog it, it will be helpful to other kids."

[Tizzy]

I think she's delusional. She claims chad will be coming home to different parents... they act the same at least on camera.

Hah, this made me laugh. Reading a few parenting books doesn’t qualify making you “different”. Change takes actual time not just 45 days and 3 books... awesome job Ruby.

I have a bad feeling about all of this.. It’s going to be a total shit show and all at the expense of who... Poor Chad.

I hope this doesn’t lead to suicide or self-harm. He’s so young and has a great future ahead of him. I really hope he’s ok when he returns.

[SwiftlyD]

I know that this is a old topic that was probably talked about a lot on here but since R&K deleted Chad's instagram account I figured it's related. I have a huge problem with the fact they give there kids the "freedom" of having a phone but heavily monitor/track what they do on them. I understand the internet is a scary place for parents and I'm not trying to downplay that but there's also something to be said for letting them learn to use it on thier own and come to them if something makes them uncomfortable. When I was 16 I got myself in to a dangerous situation with someone that lived in my city and lied about his age. It would've been really easy for my parents to track my internet activity after that but they didn't because they trusted me to come to them if that happened again. I just think that teenagers need a sense of freedom and having a phone can give it to them but being able to have it taken away for basically anything R&K deem inappropriate use/not being responsible and respectful in other parts of your life sucks. Maybe I come from a privileged place because I don't have kids and my parents were so understanding with me but I feel bad for those kids. Also my parents never had a set grade that I had to maintain in every class or I got something taken away. I kinda think that might add a bunch of uneeded stress on kids maybe that's part of why Chad is so unhappy as they say he is. Some kids just aren't academically smart but are amazingly smart in other areas.

I agree with you but there are all sorts of parenting styles and no way would ruby allow such unrequited freedom. That’s the way I parent my own children and it can work but then, I also don’t require them to be the same religion as me.

Yeah that whole bringing kids to church from a young age and expecting them not to then want to get baptised doesn't sit well with me. That sounds an awful lot like indoctrination. Obviously you'll have to take baby to chruch with you because it needs to be breast fed but I feel like you should let your kid decide if they want to continue going when they get older. I'm so happy my parents never were religious but raised me to be open to them.

[Vlog4money]

I agree with almost everything said in the last posts and if I may add: monetizing their YT videos and Instagram account is not a big issue, well depending on the quality of their videos as opposed to exploit her kids and teens feelings, frustrations and private live; the real problem is that it looks like they also monetize their inner family relationships. It appears that everything inside that family has a price tag attached, feelings, actions and emotions have a cost instead of a non financial value!

They have built not only a disposable relationship family pattern but also a family that gets rewarded with money, perks and gifts instead of true and unconditional love, support, friendship and involvement.
I think it is almost a dependency now, a way to meet their materialistic goals. How "can" Chad (or any other) leave the online team now? How will he feel seeing brands/sponsors sending money, expensive gifts,... to his siblings and none for him since he would be a "ghost" on that house and family dynamic? Would they delete him from online presence? Blur his face and body to avoid any comments? Or would they "delete" and "blur" him truly from both online and real live?
It is not only their dynamic as a family that is dysfunctional, it looks like their values are also becoming chaotic, but no regards and no guilt since they pray a lot and attend sunday service ohh and read a lot of self help books...

The main issue was Ruby don't understanding (a couple of years ago) when to stop and not crossing the line into her family private live. But hey... money and "fame" felt good, so why not push a little more into less privacy, after all the views and likes were rising... Here comes the result now: check please!

p.s.- Ruby and Kevin having another child is completely out of question right? 100% discarded? Even if that would mean so many new videos, changing the focus and since they are the greatest parents in YT... Yeah no, of course not, and even if Ruby had that idea Kevin would be conscious and mature enough to understand when to say no

YES to all of this! Ruby is putting on major blinders because she likes her upgraded lifestyle too much. There are so many unknowns for these youtube kids. And for Ruby's kids, it isn't just their 8 person family that lives the youtube life, it is their entire extended family including their grandparent!. If they truly do not like vlogging, it must feel like there is no safe space.

I know the cameras aren't recording 24/7 but it is the constant lingering possibility and pressure of "what if i do something or say something and i'm asked to repeat it for the camera or mom/grandma/aunt wants to talk about it on camera". Talk about anxiety inducing. Even if the kid is asked for their permission, those kids don't have enough self-awareness or the words to indicate their discomfort (that's basically what Ruby said was happening with Chad and instagram, right?).

Today Bonnie and Joel posted a disturbing video of their children reacting to an out of service furnace. Instead of holding the camera, letting the children know they were being filmed as their screamed and sobbed about freezing to death, Bonnie and Joel hid the camera. At one point Boston notices the camera and the look on his face as he announces to his siblings that they are being filmed was heartbreaking.

So, the cameras may or may not be filming. I have seen Ellie and Jared use security camera footage from inside their house. These kids have zero privacy and zero say in having their lives filmed.

[ponyos]

i agree it's unhealthy, especially at chad's age, for r&k to delete his instagram without consulting him, even if he did say he felt relief.

kids with strict parents simply just adapt to become sneaky. they learn to lie, how to tip toe around their parents and shut off from them due to broken trust. i feel really bad for chad.

also, while i do understand the need to monitor children's internet activity, you also need to give them freedom and privacy which, i'm guessing is something their religion doesn't allow. no researching alternative beliefs/values i guess. it's honestly sad.