DailyNeglectfulParenting (Part 83)

[HelloSweetie]

Can we be real for a second? No, Oliver isn't dumb. He doesn't need to know how to add/subtract or heck even know how to hold a pencil when school starts, but let's not act like he isn't grossly behind at this point. He has had multiple adults around him at all times since his birth, and he's been kept in a protective bubble of sorts his whole life. That isn't reality. Life is hard, and Missy and Bryan (not just Ollie) are going to have to face the real world when he starts school.

The poor child is going to have a ton of social skills he is going to need to learn really quickly when he starts in order to make friends and fit in . That is going to be ten times harder given the fact that he doesn't know his animal sounds, trucks, colours, or even all his shapes. The other kids aren't going to know Harry Potter or Star Wars quite as well. This is not even accounting for his poor language skills. How many obstacles do they need to place in front of this kid? B&M have convinced themselves that he is advanced. Know what's going to happen when he goes to school and the teachers aren't seconding that opinion? I have a Narcissist sister in law like this and I've seen what happens over and over again....they will most likely pull him from the school due to "issues." It will always be something, and someone else's fault. All so they can ignore the reality in front of them. This child is screwed. His parents don't see a need for him to learn. Seriously, how hard is it for them to play some Wiggles songs for him? Or to give him even ONE educational iPad app to teach the ABCs. The fact that he's always on it anyway and they won't even do this, tells me they are controlling him by keeping him behind. Kids are going to notice he's behind, and if they plan on sending him to private school, he is going to be leaps and bounds behind most of those children.

It's all so sad, and sorry to rant, but everyone is so quick to hate on Bryan for his overt doucheyness, but both he and Missy are both guilty of neglecting Oliver's social and intellectual development.

[alyssadt]

Seems like the skit is Ollie king for the day.. I noticed about 4 shapes drawn on the wall .. he's almost 4.. it should be adding and subtracting. Not square s, a triangle, and circles.. not much of a king if you can't count that Lanning $$$

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I'm sorry but no. 4 year olds are not required to add and subtract. That's just ridiculous.

You meant abcs and 123s in preschool. I understand Ollie is a bit behind, but just because the boy scribbles (which is completely age appropriate) and doesn't add or subtract doesn't mean he's dumb or THAT behind.


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Scribbling actually isn't age appropriate....
as a professional in a field that deals with development, if I see a child scribbling at 4 years old it is cause for concern. Not that it means anything is wrong, but it is always something to look into.
By four years old a child should be drawing shapes and other objects.


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[Missy1393]

Seems like the skit is Ollie king for the day.. I noticed about 4 shapes drawn on the wall .. he's almost 4.. it should be adding and subtracting. Not square s, a triangle, and circles.. not much of a king if you can't count that Lanning $$$

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I'm sorry but no. 4 year olds are not required to add and subtract. That's just ridiculous.

You meant abcs and 123s in preschool. I understand Ollie is a bit behind, but just because the boy scribbles (which is completely age appropriate) and doesn't add or subtract doesn't mean he's dumb or THAT behind.


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Scribbling actually isn't age appropriate....
as a professional in a field that deals with development, if I see a child scribbling at 4 years old it is cause for concern. Not that it means anything is wrong, but it is always something to look into.
By four years old a child should be drawing shapes and other objects.


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I agree, I'm not a professional but I've worked with Ollie's age group quite a bit. The lack of imaginative play is so sad. I would love an hour one on one with him to see for myself. What we see in the vlogs of his parents encouraging intellectual growth and development is so pitiful. We have a problem in our society of children having way to much screen time and too little meaningful interaction but the Lannings take it to a whole new level.


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[cat9480]

Someone here call it!


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I totally bet thats the one Ollie REALLY picked out...

They didn't let him pick his own out when they went with SlyFox either. Bryan and Missy picked out Star Wars ones for him. I loathe Andrew and Hannah, but at least they let Caspian pick his own damn Build a Bear.

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I think they did let him pick his own, though. A T. rex in boxers lol. The beast was Finn's (but really Missy's So I guess Finn didn't get to pick. Of course. But he is probably happy with anything ).


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[tml43]

Seems like the skit is Ollie king for the day.. I noticed about 4 shapes drawn on the wall .. he's almost 4.. it should be adding and subtracting. Not square s, a triangle, and circles.. not much of a king if you can't count that Lanning $$$

Sent from my HTC Desire 510 using Tapatalk

I'm sorry but no. 4 year olds are not required to add and subtract. That's just ridiculous.

You meant abcs and 123s in preschool. I understand Ollie is a bit behind, but just because the boy scribbles (which is completely age appropriate) and doesn't add or subtract doesn't mean he's dumb or THAT behind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Scribbling actually isn't age appropriate....
as a professional in a field that deals with development, if I see a child scribbling at 4 years old it is cause for concern. Not that it means anything is wrong, but it is always something to look into.
By four years old a child should be drawing shapes and other objects.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Adding and subtracting? At 4? No.

People tend to forget this big push to "get your kid ahead" is actually what is developmentally inappropriate. There is a reason why a lot of teachers will recommend delayed Kindergarten. What we are forced to do with the kinders these days is ridiculous.

[Theirmom]

Scribbling actually isn't age appropriate....
as a professional in a field that deals with development, if I see a child scribbling at 4 years old it is cause for concern. Not that it means anything is wrong, but it is always something to look into.
By four years old a child should be drawing shapes and other objects.


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I just don't know how accurate this is. My experience is completely different to this. Both my mother and sister work in childhood and special needs developmental education, and both say most kids are still scribbling when starting kindergarten, and mastering basic shapes by the end of year.

My own kids have had art supplies at hand since they could grasp, and none of them could do anything but scribble at Ollie's age. My youngest is six months younger than Ollie. She can sight read all the letters, knows her shapes, colours and a few numbers. But she can't draw them. At best, she can draw a "circle". She holds her pencil correctly, says she's drawing a shape or object, but it's just a scribble.

There are many things Ollie should be doing by this age, but legible drawing is not one of them.

[tml43]

Can we be real for a second? No, Oliver isn't dumb. He doesn't need to know how to add/subtract or heck even know how to hold a pencil when school starts, but let's not act like he isn't grossly behind at this point. He has had multiple adults around him at all times since his birth, and he's been kept in a protective bubble of sorts his whole life. That isn't reality. Life is hard, and Missy and Bryan (not just Ollie) are going to have to face the real world when he starts school.

The poor child is going to have a ton of social skills he is going to need to learn really quickly when he starts in order to make friends and fit in . That is going to be ten times harder given the fact that he doesn't know his animal sounds, trucks, colours, or even all his shapes. The other kids aren't going to know Harry Potter or Star Wars quite as well. This is not even accounting for his poor language skills. How many obstacles do they need to place in front of this kid? B&M have convinced themselves that he is advanced. Know what's going to happen when he goes to school and the teachers aren't seconding that opinion? I have a Narcissist sister in law like this and I've seen what happens over and over again....they will most likely pull him from the school due to "issues." It will always be something, and someone else's fault. All so they can ignore the reality in front of them. This child is screwed. His parents don't see a need for him to learn. Seriously, how hard is it for them to play some Wiggles songs for him? Or to give him even ONE educational iPad app to teach the ABCs. The fact that he's always on it anyway and they won't even do this, tells me they are controlling him by keeping him behind. Kids are going to notice he's behind, and if they plan on sending him to private school, he is going to be leaps and bounds behind most of those children.

It's all so sad, and sorry to rant, but everyone is so quick to hate on Bryan for his overt doucheyness, but both he and Missy are both guilty of neglecting Oliver's social and intellectual development.

You're assuming he would even pass the basic tests to gain entrance into private school or even kindergarten. We call them "screenings" in public school, but it's just a test to see where kids are at. I have done them many summers, and the amount of kids we have had to deem fit for school can be quite sad. Then the parents fight and yell at us, saying they are ready and X,Y,Z websites say this, and their friends say that.

I mean can Ollie:

- Can he identify and put in groups - by color, shape or size?
- Knows how to hold a book
- Knows a few colors with ease
- Knows his own name if I were to write it
- Letter/sounds (not all, but some)
- Can count 1-10 items
- complete a small puzzle
- Put on his own shoes and do them up if they are lace up?
- Put on his own coat, button up his pants and change his clothing if needed?
- How does he interact with other kids?
- Can he follow directions and listen?
- Can be without his parents?
- Can be eat food on this own?

We look at gross motor skills

And then Fine motor skills

- Can he use scissors? I'm not even sure we have ever seen him use them!
- Hold a pencil correctly
- Draw a person with arms, legs, body and a head
- numbers/letters
- trace

Of course no kid so going to know all of this, or be amazing. Kids all have strengths and weaknesses. However, if kids have huge deficits in a lot of areas, it shows they are not developmentally ready for school.
I have no idea with Oliver, because that would involve speaking to B&M + spending some time with Oliver to see what he does when given tasks. You cannot determine based on the vlog.

[HelloSweetie]

^ I think it's safe to say he can't do most of those things. We've seen enough of what he can/can't do.

I'm particularly annoyed about this right now because I have a two year old and I'm seeing how fast he's learning. He counts EVERYTHING, and sings/dances all the time. He's a happy and carefree toddler, as most are. So many YT kids seem to be little performing robots devoid of any independent thought/will and imaginative whimsy.

[Ducklings4]

I'm sorry but no. 4 year olds are not required to add and subtract. That's just ridiculous.

You meant abcs and 123s in preschool. I understand Ollie is a bit behind, but just because the boy scribbles (which is completely age appropriate) and doesn't add or subtract doesn't mean he's dumb or THAT behind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Scribbling actually isn't age appropriate....
as a professional in a field that deals with development, if I see a child scribbling at 4 years old it is cause for concern. Not that it means anything is wrong, but it is always something to look into.
By four years old a child should be drawing shapes and other objects.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Adding and subtracting? At 4? No.

People tend to forget this big push to "get your kid ahead" is actually what is developmentally inappropriate. There is a reason why a lot of teachers will recommend delayed Kindergarten. What we are forced to do with the kinders these days is ridiculous.

Ollie having a summer birthday would be a just cause to hold him back. He will be 10 mos younger than some kids in his grade. I would start preschool with him and see how he fits. If he is so far behind I would repeat the program. No one asks how old were you when you finished high school or college, they just want to see the diploma.


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[HelloSweetie]

Scribbling actually isn't age appropriate....
as a professional in a field that deals with development, if I see a child scribbling at 4 years old it is cause for concern. Not that it means anything is wrong, but it is always something to look into.
By four years old a child should be drawing shapes and other objects.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Adding and subtracting? At 4? No.

People tend to forget this big push to "get your kid ahead" is actually what is developmentally inappropriate. There is a reason why a lot of teachers will recommend delayed Kindergarten. What we are forced to do with the kinders these days is ridiculous.

Ollie having a summer birthday would be a just cause to hold him back. He will be 10 mos younger than some kids in his grade. I would start preschool with him and see how he fits. If he is so far behind I would repeat the program. No one asks how old were you when you finished high school or college, they just want to see the diploma.


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Is that how it works there?

Here some kids might have their birthdays after school starts and can technically start at 4. My oldest has a June birthday and he was nowhere near the youngest in the class. The kid that waited a year stood out far more tbh and the kids noticed because they expects him to be smarter because of it. Age is A LOT when you're a kid.

My possibly unpopular opinion is that it's shameful for him to have grown up with two stay at home parents his entire life and to even need to take that additional year. If that's the case and his parents have no intention of teaching him anything, then he should at least be starting preschool now.

[ewokfan11]

Because they clearly needed more build-a-bears.

How much do you think they spent in the store today? $200? $300? $400?

These people are so out of touch with reality.

I think they spent $0. I think companies work with YTer A LOT more than the YTers actually disclose. It's technically illegal, but they all seem to do it ALL THE TIME! Their entire vlog was basically a Build-A-Bear ad.

I was thinking the same about a week ago about Dyson. Katie and Cullen AND Ellie and Jared both got new Dysons on the same day and featured them in their vlogs.

It gets a bit obvious when lots of YTers end up with the same products all around the same time.

[HelloSweetie]

Because they clearly needed more build-a-bears.

How much do you think they spent in the store today? $200? $300? $400?

These people are so out of touch with reality.

I think they spent $0. I think companies work with YTer A LOT more than the YTers actually disclose. It's technically illegal, but they all seem to do it ALL THE TIME! Their entire vlog was basically a Build-A-Bear ad.

I was thinking the same about a week ago about Dyson. Katie and Cullen AND Ellie and Jared both got new Dysons on the same day and featured them in their vlogs.

It gets a bit obvious when lots of YTers end up with the same products all around the same time.

I don't know, you see this a lot in real life too though. At least I do. Social circles compete and one person buys something so it makes there think they need it too...

Plus I think B&M do Build A Bear and Disney all the time because they have nothing else to do. We never see them do the beach, Oceanside pier, Legoland, Seaworld, the zoo.... I really do just think that their comfort zone has become that small and they have nothing else to do.

[Germany2263]

@HelloSweetie Amen Sister!! Didn't want a long tree. They have failed that child in almost every way for almost 4 years. I really feel badly for him

[ewokfan11]

Plus I think B&M do Build A Bear and Disney all the time because they have nothing else to do. We never see them do the beach, Oceanside pier, Legoland, Seaworld, the zoo.... I really do just think that their comfort zone has become that small and they have nothing else to do.

Well, they do Disney all the time because that is FREE because they work for Disney (Maker).

[Theirmom]

Is that how it works there?

Here some kids might have their birthdays after school starts and can technically start at 4. My oldest has a June birthday and he was nowhere near the youngest in the class.

Because we have the FDK program in Ontario, my oldest (late October bday) was only 3 when he started jk. He was a late potty trainer, and was only fully trained for 4 months when he went. The teacher said that half the kids were in pull-ups and full on falling asleep halfway through the day.
This push for earlier and earlier education can't be good either. Kids shouldn't have to do full day schooling until at least 5 years old.

[PosyGirl72]

Is that how it works there?

Here some kids might have their birthdays after school starts and can technically start at 4. My oldest has a June birthday and he was nowhere near the youngest in the class.

Because we have the FDK program in Ontario, my oldest (late October bday) was only 3 when he started jk. He was a late potty trainer, and was only fully trained for 4 months when he went. The teacher said that half the kids were in pull-ups and full on falling asleep halfway through the day.
This push for earlier and earlier education can't be good either. Kids shouldn't have to do full day schooling until at least 5 years old.

That's why I waited till my oldest was 5 yrs old b3fore starting (bday Sept 9) and she went into senior kindergarten.

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[fossilfinger]

Is that how it works there?

Here some kids might have their birthdays after school starts and can technically start at 4. My oldest has a June birthday and he was nowhere near the youngest in the class. The kid that waited a year stood out far more tbh and the kids noticed because they expects him to be smarter because of it. Age is A LOT when you're a kid.

My possibly unpopular opinion is that it's shameful for him to have grown up with two stay at home parents his entire life and to even need to take that additional year. If that's the case and his parents have no intention of teaching him anything, then he should at least be starting preschool now.

The cutoff varies by state. I went to college in California and some of my friends turned 18 in November, so they would have started kindergarten at age 4, a few months before turning 5. In my home state I believe the cutoff was in September or October.

It's more about emotional maturity, though. Many parents choose to hold back their kids who have summer birthdays. My husband was born in August and was held back. I even know someone who was born in April and was held back.

[PostyMcPosterston]

The person who mentioned adding + subtracting wasn't talking about Ollie sitting down and doing arithmetic. She said she meant like them using the opportunity of drawing triangles asking "how many are there?" Drawing another triangle and asking how many triangles there are now. That can easily be done by a toddler or preschooler who knows how to count.

I agree with what HellowSweetie has been saying for a year plus, Oliver isn't grossly behind to where a teacher would get him in their class and think, "he needs intervention!" Or something like that, but it's really shameful that a child who has grown up with so many adults around him, and he can barely grasp certain basics. I think most of us have children who knew basic colors and whatnot their first year of toddlerhood. Ollie will be 4 in 4 months or so? He could pick up on a LOT and seem on par in many areas, but it would take a change in parenting style. Which I don't see happening. It will be interesting to see him thrive in preschool if he attends one outside of the house. But HS can probably mark her calendar for today. The day she guessed correctly that Bryan and Missy (esp Missy) will pull Ollie out of school the moment a school mentions Ollie's delay in any area.


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[lmmomSD]

Can I just say how annoying Bryan was changing Ollie's shirt with his sunglasses on and doing that horrible British accent with the "Charlie bit my finger" bit from what, five years ago?
Yes, I absolutely agree with everything everyone has said about Ollie. I can't add a thing.
"The doctor said we should get bubbles and have Ollie teach Finn how to blow them!" No. How about YOU interact with your child and teach him yourself? I get the doc wanting to get the older sibling involved, but these guys need to involve themselves. And all the hand wringing about how worried she was about Ollie. Lower respiratory infections aren't contagious that way, dumb ass.
"It went SO good!" Twitch. Twitch. WELL. It went WELL.
Did you all hear Ollie while they were drooling over the Beauty and the Beast stuff? He was yelling "Mama! Mama!" Over and over, and they didn't even bat an eye.

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[HelloSweetie]

Plus I think B&M do Build A Bear and Disney all the time because they have nothing else to do. We never see them do the beach, Oceanside pier, Legoland, Seaworld, the zoo.... I really do just think that their comfort zone has become that small and they have nothing else to do.

Well, they do Disney all the time because that is FREE because they work for Disney (Maker).

They did Disney all the time before this too. They have always bought passes, so there is no proof they get them for free. It's always free to get into Downtown Disney though, so they don't need passes for that anyway.

They are supposed millionaires. I think they could afford to spend a little money taking their children to unsponsored places other than Starbucks and restaurants.