ModifiedMother (TaylerTrashedy) Part 33

[placebo]

And I didn't say I didn't so a degree understand, I do, but I'm unable to feel sympathy for her anymore. I've followed her since Jakoby was a baby, and all she has done during all this time is.. fuck up some more.

What comes to her not being able to ask help.. She basically lives by other's help. There are many users on this very forum too who didn't have it so easy and 99% of them are still functioning, hard working people who instead of waiting for things to fix on their own work to fix things.

[twomommies]

She has the help of Dr. Google lol

[kiwi]

I feel sympathy for Tayler. I'm annoyed by her, yes. I disagree with the way she parent's, her sense of entitlement and her laziness. But what see is a young woman that came from a broken home, was raised on welfare, was not taught good morals/values, was not given many tools to succeed in life and she is the product of that. Are some people able to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and succeed despite all of that? Yes, aboslutely and I know people who have. But not everyone does, not everyone can. We're not all the same. I believe she does suffer from mental illness and that it's crippling her. If she has something like Borderline someone has to actually step in and help her... Borderline is not like having bipolar disorder where it's simply a chemical disorder and medicine can fix it. You need intense therapy, to change your way of thinking basically. DBT works wonders on people. I'm not a doctor and I'm not saying she has that disorder, but she certainly shows many symptoms of Borderline and I've thought so for a long time. I feel sorry for her kids the most, because they're innocent and didn't ask to be brought into this situation. But at the end of the day, I feel for Tayler too because she didn't ask to be put in the situations she was put in as a child either and she really needs help. She needs to get away from that family and she needs to have someone in her corner, that will help her do what she needs to do and not by tearing her down and insulting her. Not by letting her sit on her butt at her mom's, her granny's or wherever she chooses to stay at the time. Someone needs to tell her that what she's doing isn't working, and it's time to do something different. Get into therapy, take that time for yourself and to help yourself. Find a way to get your GED, it may take a lot of tutoring to get you there but it's never too late to start. Also, make it a priority to take your permit test so that you can practice for your license.

Ugh, I'm feeling very emotional about this. I just witnessed a woman go from being a craptastic mother to a good one all because she treat her mental illness. Tayler is not an evil person, she needs help.

[kiwi]

Btw, her mother should be ashamed for allowing her to be "homeschooled" aka "unschooled" @ such a young age. She was a single mom to what, 5 kids? I'm guessing working a full time job. So she's going to homeschool her teenaged daughter? Or expected a child that young to homeschool themselves on the computer? Um, no!!! You don't just allow your 12/13 year old to quit school. You make them go to school! If they're having trouble, get them a tutor, a counselor or if they must be held back a grade because they missed too much (which is what she claimed happened) maybe transfer them so it won't be so humiliating because ppl don't know them. But you don't just expect your preteen to homeschool themselves lol wtf!?

[lovemyckc]

Does her mother have a high school diploma?

[sugarplum14]

@kiwi, I agree with you. We come on here and insult her for bad things she has done. Yes she has done things that were really screwed up. However, when the possibility of her having a mental illness, especially BPD, made me see her differently. I have BPD as well. Though I don't go to the extreme like Tayler, I have done things that I'm not proud of myself. I know her having a mental illness is crippling her. She sees anything that is negative to her as a threat. It's so hard to go through that. She did things that were out of line. I'm not sticking up for Tayler's actions by no means. However, I know that this is her way of coping with it because she doesn't know better. When she felt suicidal, that wasn't her crying for attention. She honestly feels that way because her life is screwed up. I know people say it's her fault that she put herself in these situations. However, people with BPD do go to extremes and just avoid things altogether such as school, jobs, social settings, etc. Tayler does need serious help and I wish she had someone who would help her. My heart goes out to anyone who suffers with a serious mental illness.

[twomommies]

Someone needs to step in and get her help....but who??

[Yue195]

An actual doctor or an proper adult. I was talking to me friend who did some psychology and I talked to him bout Tayler. He believe Tayler has a underlying mental illness and is a child of neglect. Her mum neglected her schooling, her health ect. If Tayler's mum paid attention to her, Tayler may have had a standing chance at a good life. She has been pregnant 5 times since 15/16 and no one stepped in and told her no.

[placebo]

My heart stops going out for them when they do nothing to make their lives better. My mom for example. She never worked for longer than 2 months here or there and only if job employment office forced her (= either work or your support money is lowered and cut). She often went years without ever lifting a finger. Cooking meals or cleaning the house was often chores of me and my siblings. At almost 50, she doesn't have a single good friend. She makes new ones here and there but they never last. She throws fits when she doesn't get what she wants. She is always asking for others to help her but she never, ever helps anyone in return. She has never accepted the faults in her ways either. I had a crappy and violent childhood as did my siblings, because she refused to get help for herself. Need I say I am very happy she is now burdening someone else in completely different country. I hope she doesn't come back.

That is why I don't feel any sympathy towards Tayler. She is the same; not helping herself. And it has been _YEARS_. I had a crappy childhood too, but I didn't let it dictate how my life is now. I worked hard for things to improve and I work hard so that my daughter with diagnoses has it as easy as possible.

[kiwi]

Someone needs to step in and get her help....but who??

Well, I would say Chuckie would probably be the person most likely to get her the help she needs is he pushed for it and was willing to put the effort in. But, I'm not holding my breath. Chuckie has his fair share of issues, too. The sad thing is I don't think there is anyone who is willing to help her.

[placebo]

Tayler wont let them help her. To her, everything is about having control. Chuckie's friends hate her and Chuckie is only staying with her because of the kids.

[kiwi]

BTW, if she goes into therapy no good therapist is going to give her butt pats. They're going to be kind, but they're going to be real with her.

I know a person IRL with BPD. She was a complete mess. She did horrible things. I don't want to generalize, but a common thing with BPD is instead of someone self harming in order to hurt themselves, they do it to hurt OTHERS. Like when Tayler faked her own suicide, cut herself because Chuckie left her. The attitude of "I'll show them, they'll see" is classic with someone with BPD. This person that I'm referencing did this. Everything with her was black/white, all or nothing. She neglected her child. She was terrible with money. Barely graduated high school, couldn't keep a job. She has been doing DBT for a long time now, and I swear she is a different person. This therapist calls her on her shit, he doesn't coddle her. She understands that it's going to take years for people to truly believe she has changed, because that is who she was for so long.

I'm not saying it isn't frustrating to see her make the same mistakes over and over again. But calling her trash, picking at her appearance and trying to break her is not going to help her. She is sick, mentally. It just makes me sad. No, you can't use mental illness as an excuse when you screw up, but you have to have some compassion at the same time. She can't just snap her fingers and become a different person, she needs help.

[kiwi]

Tayler wont let them help her. To her, everything is about having control. Chuckie's friends hate her and Chuckie is only staying with her because of the kids.

She needs to hit rock bottom. The next time she snaps and hits Chuckie in an argument, he needs to call the police and make a report. Then he needs to file for emergency custody, and once they're in the court system Tayler will be ordered to seek treatment. It's really that simple. If she helps herself, she will have every opportunity to have joint custody and to have her children back in her care full time. People think that they're helping her, but they're not. Chuckie is failing his kids.

[kiwi]

@kiwi, I agree with you. We come on here and insult her for bad things she has done. Yes she has done things that were really screwed up. However, when the possibility of her having a mental illness, especially BPD, made me see her differently. I have BPD as well. Though I don't go to the extreme like Tayler, I have done things that I'm not proud of myself. I know her having a mental illness is crippling her. She sees anything that is negative to her as a threat. It's so hard to go through that. She did things that were out of line. I'm not sticking up for Tayler's actions by no means. However, I know that this is her way of coping with it because she doesn't know better. When she felt suicidal, that wasn't her crying for attention. She honestly feels that way because her life is screwed up. I know people say it's her fault that she put herself in these situations. However, people with BPD do go to extremes and just avoid things altogether such as school, jobs, social settings, etc. Tayler does need serious help and I wish she had someone who would help her. My heart goes out to anyone who suffers with a serious mental illness.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through that, hon. But good for you for getting help! I'm glad someone else sees what I see, I honestly don't want to see this girl crash and burn.

[placebo]

I never said I want to see her crash and burn, but she has made her own bed. Life is about choices. She is choosing not to help herself. I have no sympathy for that.

[leem91]

Chuckie & her are still getting a divorce aren't they? Or did I miss something? I haven't been on for a few days.

[woahisme]

Is her instagram still around? If it is could someone link it for me?

[twomommies]

I think they are. Before their second marriage lol

[dfwmom]

Continue here please... http://ytmommadrama.com/viewtopic.php?f=179&t=8272