Morning Glory wrote: ↑Thu Feb 27, 2020 5:12 am
2txsoccerkids wrote: ↑Tue Feb 25, 2020 10:59 am
Smowball-
I get what you are saying, I think all
Of us have different levels of dislike for this family. I find that I give them a little more grace because I am a mom of multiples and singles- and I know that multiples are way harder to parent, until you have lived it you just don’t get it. It sounds like you have lived through infertility so you give them more grace there and I totally get that.
I like coming here to read the drama- I honestly don’t have the time that a lot of these ladies have- they spend hours watching vlogs, replaying things in slow motion to hear back things and see things that we might miss- I love the re-caps because I don’t have the time to do that. Sometimes I completely agree with what’s being said, other times I roll my eyes and think really? But again, they have a ton of time and history invested in this and it’s eaier to just move on sometimes. I also don’t post often because they have a little inner circle that is pretty tight- you will see at the bottom that way more people read than ever post. I find that if I disagree with something that is said here it’s easier to just keep moving than to try to point it out!
Hope that you stay and read and don’t get to frustrated!
I would be interested to hear how bringing up multiples is more difficult than bringing up singletons. I don't doubt that it is---I just don't know first-hand. There were twins in my family and when anyone referred to their two children who were close in age as being "just like twins", my mother would shake her head privately and say, No, it isn't the same. Anyway, I would be interested in hearing about the challenges and applying that knowledge to the Gardners.
The thing that gets my goat about the Gardners is that they use the fact that they have quads as an excuse to do nothing for their children. If they were *trying* to discipline them, and enjoy them, and get one-to-one time, and take them to fun, educational events, no one here would be giving them grief. It's that they don't even try. As though, if children are multiples, the bar is not just low, it's lying on the floor.
There are so many differences between being a mom to twins and singles. My kids are 18, 14, 14, and 10. My oldest and youngest are boys and my twins are girls.
My 18 year old was a tough baby- he was born with a disability and was in and out of the drs office constantly his first year.
I honestly thought nothing could be harder than that, until my girls came! The first year with twins is pure surivival mode. Despite my best efforts mine never slept at the same time never ate at the same time- it was our chaos. I think for probably at least 4 months straight that I slept for maybe 4 hours a day. As soon as one was changed and fed the other needed it- it was a terrible cycle. Everyone always says when you have a newborn to sleep when the baby sleeps- well that almost never happens with twins! Someone always needs you.
Then you are a freak show, wherever you go people ask questions. A simple run to the grocery got at least 10 stops, are they twins, are they identical, did you have them naturally, do you love one more than the other- seriously every.single.time. We go anywhere even to this day we get stopped multiple times!
And the questions are over the top ridiculous sometimes!
I struggle a lot with treating my girls individually, especially when they where little. Everyone always called them the twins. When I dressed them matching, people said I wasn’t giving them individual personalities, when I dressed them differently people said I liked one more than the other because one always was perceived to have the “better” outfit!
There have been so many times that I wanted to clone myself or my husband because I didn’t feel like we could be there for everything that they needed. Like when one wants to play soccer and the other volleyball and the two are on opposite sides of town- then you still have to patent your other two kids as well.
My girls now as teenagers are always always compared to each other, by family, friends, strangers etc. People are seriously disappointed when they choose to do different things- almost like they should be a package deal. And they say this in front of my girls- oh B is the smart one right? Or G is so much prettier than her sister!
I could go on and on about all the things- but it really is so much harder, that is why I was drawn to the Gardner’s in the first place. And like I said I do give them way more grace than most of you because I have lived it. I have lived one being potty trained when her sister wasn’t ready, I have lived one being exponentially louder than her sister, one being able to read when the other couldn’t. You can’t brag or be proud about one, when you have another that isn’t there yet.
What a fraud. Hod! I hope he burns.
