Morning Glory wrote: ↑Thu Feb 27, 2020 5:12 am
2txsoccerkids wrote: ↑Tue Feb 25, 2020 10:59 am
Smowball-
I get what you are saying, I think all
Of us have different levels of dislike for this family. I find that I give them a little more grace because I am a mom of multiples and singles- and I know that multiples are way harder to parent, until you have lived it you just don’t get it. It sounds like you have lived through infertility so you give them more grace there and I totally get that.
I like coming here to read the drama- I honestly don’t have the time that a lot of these ladies have- they spend hours watching vlogs, replaying things in slow motion to hear back things and see things that we might miss- I love the re-caps because I don’t have the time to do that. Sometimes I completely agree with what’s being said, other times I roll my eyes and think really? But again, they have a ton of time and history invested in this and it’s eaier to just move on sometimes. I also don’t post often because they have a little inner circle that is pretty tight- you will see at the bottom that way more people read than ever post. I find that if I disagree with something that is said here it’s easier to just keep moving than to try to point it out!
Hope that you stay and read and don’t get to frustrated!
I would be interested to hear how bringing up multiples is more difficult than bringing up singletons. I don't doubt that it is---I just don't know first-hand. There were twins in my family and when anyone referred to their two children who were close in age as being "just like twins", my mother would shake her head privately and say, No, it isn't the same. Anyway, I would be interested in hearing about the challenges and applying that knowledge to the Gardners.
The thing that gets my goat about the Gardners is that they use the fact that they have quads as an excuse to do nothing for their children. If they were *trying* to discipline them, and enjoy them, and get one-to-one time, and take them to fun, educational events, no one here would be giving them grief. It's that they don't even try. As though, if children are multiples, the bar is not just low, it's lying on the floor.
Multiples are harder in a way, especially when they are infants and not on a shedual yet. They seem to always to need two suddenly things at the same time (one a diaper change while the other is crying because they need a bottle). It’s hard trying to split the time/ needs appropriately, (one might be a over all happier baby and not need to be held as much but to make sure they are still getting held and the attention they need). As they get older the difficulty changes more to close aged sibling challenges, they fight and bicker over toys, but also play nicely sometimes, there emotional needs are similar (2 3 year olds who have big emotions and don’t know how to handle them is hard and stressful).
But this part is to the Gardner’s especially. The girls are at a age that if we’re taught properly should be Falling into a pattern, they are all “into” the same type stuff so you don’t need a bajilion toys. They are playing at the same age level. So you don’t need 5 year old toys but also 2 year old toys and baby toys. They can play games together (hungry hippos, uno, candy land etc) and you don’t have a 5 year old who wants to play a game while the 2 year old is trying to eat the small game pieces, while being newly pregnant and just want to sleep and puke all day long.
(I know multiple moms have more pregnancies but not these ones).
Imagine these parents in these situations
Tyson at work and Ashley with a newborn (2ish months old) who just wants to be held and fed while taking a 2 year old to the bathroom every what feels like 15 min because she’s got to go (literal dribbling each time). We would hear how it’s the hardest thing ever and no one understands.
Having a 3 year old and year and a half year old and being first trimester pregnant. Where every food you cook makes you want to hurl, every dirty diaper change you slap that clean diaper on and get baby off the change table and book it to the toilet. Wiping the 3 year old because they still need help but have to run to the sink first.
Having a 4-5 year old who loves small toys like the hat Hatchamals or lol surprise but also have a 2 year old and 9 month old who eat everything and reminding the oldest to keep these toys in their room and keeping the littles from chocking.
Yes they have 4x the 5 year old attitude, and the emotional hardness will always be there. But physically the girls should be getting easier. Know yes and no, know how to act in public, know hands off ways of dealing with situations, know what’s expected, know how to get dressed, should be soon able to go bathroom with no assistance (wipe properly flush and wash). Help with simple chores (clean up your toys, set the table, put clothes away. Know the house rules and obey them (most of the time) (my house, hands off floors and for standing chairs/couches are for sitting, we use polite words with each other, clean up after your done playing, we answer when spoken to).
So back to the original statement yes multiples are harder. But by the age the these kids are they should be more emotionally and less physically difficult
