I couldnt really figure our what i could call this so im just gonna explain the situation:
This guy and i have been in pretty confusing relationship ever since we met. We met in school when we were 16 & are turning 20 this year. We pretty much clicked the day we met, we went to something like a vocational school and our class was a huge group of strangers. As we are both kinda shy we were glad to have eachother in the first awkward weeks. We became good friends and eventually developed a group of friends.
That is also when our relationship started to confuse me. Just by little actions and things he said. And people actually did think we were a couple. Thats how it went for 2 years. The year we turned 18 we succesfully finished school and thats also when it started to get reallllyy confusing. Right after we were done with school (and seeing eachother atleast 5 times a week) he told me there is something he has been wanting to tell me but he doesnt want to ruin our friendship so he doesnt know what to do. Shortly after that we went out and at the end of the night he took me to the bus station so i didnt have to wait alone. You could literally feel the tension in the air...and then my bus came. And thats basically how its been going ever since then. We have these deep conversations, joke about our future together, he tells me when someone is hitting on him & that I need to help him,...
But every now and then something happens, or we get into an argument, and all the build up tension is gone, deep conversations stop and its like were are just normal friends again. And the thing is, (supposed) love has been the reason for this more than once. Like one time he suspected im secretely dating a close friend (that is pretty much my sister...) and kept talking about it. When i accidently sent him a message that was supposed to be for her (about her picking me up from the train station) he was so mad because he was convinced i wanted him to be jealous.
Another reason we get into arguments is money. His parents earn a good amount of money and he grew up learning "money can fix&buy everything". He just doesnt value it properly because he has never been taught. His grades were average and his parents got him into a exensive private uni so he can study a subject he would have no chance getting into at public university. My Family is not poor but theres just not enought to pay for a private university (and i dont even want to go there because its kinda sketchy, thats a different story though). He knows ive been miserable about my future career because i didnt get into uni and dont really know what, when i told him i got invited for a job interview for a different path than uni (again, different story. i dont live in the us) he was like "What? Didnt you want to go to uni? I mean its not that hard and (what i might do) is kinda cheap"
It makes him sound like a complete ass but hes not, its just the money thing and i know hell have a rude awakening once he actually has to live without his parents money..I dont even know if it makes sense so to sum it up: we get really really close, the tension is pretty much like this heart lol
and then something happens and we drift apart. Its like we are just normal friends. And then we get back to eachother. And it goes on and on.If we were older i would say its like a sappy love story that is not supposed to happen. Maybe we are just not supposed to be together (now?). I dont know what to think or feel and i hope it makes sense somehow.
I talked about it with a friend before and she said we had our chance, if it was real it wouldnt be like this. But isnt that to easy? Because i just dont believe relationships can only go that one, classic and simple way.
I would be grateful for any answer!!
Thanks in advance
