E+J: 4 Bites of Tender Steak. PART 30

[heymallie]

I feel horrible for Ellie and jared no parent should have to go through losing a child no matter how old or before birth. I think that both Ellie and Jared believe that having a child is going to solve all their problems. With Jared whatever marriage issues he is having with Ellie and the channel not doing as well as it had been. Ellie her constant need to be the center of attention and getting what she wants. I'm not saying that's their reasons for having another baby just seems like their solution to some problems that have been having or we think they are having.

I again believe that the first miscarriage was Ellie's period because after they announced having one that it seemed like Ellie and Jared were fighting with jared wanting not to be at the house and with the kids, a lot of us speculated that too. With the amount of tension that was there with just Jared talking to the kids it sounded like how my mom would talk to me before my parents would separate. This time it's completely different.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Nini12]

She shouldn't be talking about the miscarriage in front of Jackson. She can't control herself. You just know she talked non-stop about the baby in front of Jackson and that's how he knew. Plus they were also vlogging in front of the kids and talking about it. We may not have seen that footage yet, but the kids were there. Like a true Narcissist, she fails to see her children as individuals. They are there for the support and affection they can provide her.

Honestly I think she's never aware of how talking some things in front of the kids isn't good for them, I don't even think that the "I'm sad for Jackson" is real. With Ellie and Ruby I always get the feeling that when they have to be mature/motherly/responsable with their kids, they're always doing what's expected from them and not what they would naturally think to do, that's why it's so easy to do the same thing that their mother would do.
It's as if some basic things don't click in their heads and they have to fake it by doing what their mother told them or one sister suggested.

Again, I think Ellie needs mental help but what is Jared doing to help his kids? Nothing.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

She shouldn't be talking about the miscarriage in front of Jackson. She can't control herself. You just know she talked non-stop about the baby in front of Jackson and that's how he knew. Plus they were also vlogging in front of the kids and talking about it. We may not have seen that footage yet, but the kids were there. Like a true Narcissist, she fails to see her children as individuals. They are there for the support and affection they can provide her.

Honestly I think she's never aware of how talking some things in front of the kids isn't good for them, I don't even think that the "I'm sad for Jackson" is real. With Ellie and Ruby I always get the feeling that when they have to be mature/motherly/responsable with their kids, they're always doing what's expected from them and not what they would naturally think to do, that's why it's so easy to do the same thing that their mother would do.
It's as if some basic things don't click in their heads and they have to fake it by doing what their mother told them or one sister suggested.

Again, I think Ellie needs mental help but what is Jared doing to help his kids? Nothing.

Exactly!! Jared is doing nothing. There is no way he can sit and edit these videos and not know how damaging Ellie is to those kids. I dont care why Ellie is acting this way, I dont care how afraid Jared is of upsetting her, all that matters is the way Ellie treats them, Jackson especially, is NOT ok. Ellie's mental health is NOT ok. Jared knows Ellie has been a completely different person this last month, Jared knows what its going to be like in their house for the kids now that Ellie isnt pregnant. DO something about it. And if that means removing yourself and the kids until Ellie is in a healthier state then so be it but stop subjecting those kids to Ellie's mood swings.

[Pency]

I feel terrible for Ellie. I really do, you could see her emotions on her face when the Dr was telling her what happened. BUT that being said, Karma sucks.
When you watch Ellie's reaction dont forget this is the very same lady who called the IVF winners ON Mother's day to announce that she got pregnant their first TTC cycle.
You get what you give, I wouldnt wish a miscarriage on anyone BUT I firmly believe she has some nasty karma coming towards her. What they did to those couple who have been trying YEARS was beyond horrid.

Yes, she's a bitch for calling people experiencing IF on Mother's Day but that isn't WHY she miscarried. 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I've miscarried, I'm sure many others who comment here have miscarried, and it wasn't because they did something shitty in their life. Good people are allowed to be sad about that, and assholes are allowed to be sad about it. I'm also allowed to to be sad for anybody who is miscarrying because regardless what you've done in your life, it's a sad thing to go through.

[calliepaige]

I know not everyone watches all of the Griffiths family sisters, so will probably post this in the others too.... but Julie is moving back to Utah and I am so happy for her. Sounds like she will be living really close to Ruby. I am happy for her kids too since they seem to love their cousins so much.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[HelloSweetie]

I guess I see the thing with Jared differently because I see him as a victim too. We've seen that Ellie is controlling and manipulative. He can't just make decisions and put his foot down about things. Obviously it isn't a good environment at home if he tries. This is emotional abuse, and no one would be victim blaming a wife for failing to protect her children from a controlling spouse. Just because Ellie is tiny and pretty, doesn't mean she isn't controlling Jared.

Until you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you really wouldn't know how hard it is to deal with. It's much easier to just keep hoping the other person will get better.

[lmmomSD]

But if Ellie said "This is why I didn't want to bring the boys", that means Jared pushed it for footage. So he's just as culpable in Jackson seeing things he's too young to understand, and shouldn't be subjected to. I know how exhausting it must be to live with someone who is never happy with what she has-- always thinking that the _next_ thing will make her happy. Baby, house, dog, grass, trees-- and now another baby. But he can still protect the boys some.

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

[LynnGLOVE8989]

All the drama!! I'm sure they are upset to have another miscarriage but they are creating a Hollywood type drama with over the top theatrics! She was only pregnant for a month. Who announces that to the world and especially your other small children? They go on and on to Jackson about the baby in mommy's tummy and explaining everything. It's fine to do all that once you enter your second trimester and everything is going well. To carry on like that after being pregnant for just a few weeks is ridiculous. To top it off they are playing sad music along with the narration. I know how devastating miscarriage can be but what about millions of women who can never have children at all? They already have two beautiful boys and they seem ungrateful and greedy to me. I'm wondering if Elle feels she needs to compete with Bonnie? I hope this teaches them a lesson to keep their mouth shut until the pregnancy is well established in the future. To make announcements to everyone early on (for vlog ratings and views!) is just asking for more drama and disappointment..not to mention it makes them look ridiculous!

How can hoping for children be greedy?? I will never understand that statement! They want children to love and care for. I don't get it.

Sorry but your post comes across as so incredibly disrespectful to millions of women grieving their lost babies. Ellie and Jared are not my fave couple, I find them to be very materialistic and greedy, but this post rubbed me the wrong way. Babies are babies and people can bond with their fetus immediately. I don't think this is all just for show - they have obviously been wanting another child for a while now and are devastated.

Plus... women announce their pregnancies early all the time because they want to share their joy with their loved ones! I honestly think E and J have a connection with their viewers and wanted to share their joy. Not to mention, some women share early because they want the support if they have a miscarriage. Sometimes it is comforting to have people share their stories and offer love and comfort in times of distress.

[Nuna]

I guess I see the thing with Jared differently because I see him as a victim too. We've seen that Ellie is controlling and manipulative. He can't just make decisions and put his foot down about things. Obviously it isn't a good environment at home if he tries. This is emotional abuse, and no one would be victim blaming a wife for failing to protect her children from a controlling spouse. Just because Ellie is tiny and pretty, doesn't mean she isn't controlling Jared.

Until you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you really wouldn't know how hard it is to deal with. It's much easier to just keep hoping the other person will get better.

Ellie tried to get a worker in trouble because they didn't acknowledge her presence when another worker did. We have seen she has an incredibly short temper and can be very passive aggressive. Know who the number one receiver of this would be? Jared. Passive aggression is a form of abuse, but one that few people recognize because it isn't visible. That doesn't mean its any less harmful than physical abuse though, just that the proof isn't there. Ellie's new obsession with online shopping could definitely be a form of passive aggression. A lot of PA women will do this the more their husband tries to talk about financial concerns. Its a passive way of sticking it to them and asserting their dominance without actually saying anything.

Another instance that we've seen Ellie be passive aggressive is with Cal's neck. Jared put his foot down and what happened? Ellie wanted nothing to do with those appointments or his physical therapy. She took no interest. He literally had to vlog telling her about it to get her to listen to how the exercises are performed, and she could hardly feign interest. We've seen her be PA with birthday presents. If she bothers to attend, she finds ways to make it about her. Taking part of a birthday present, or insisting on having the first piece of cake. She's been PA to the negative comments on Twitter, and very quick to temper and get defensive at even the most innocent attempt at feedback.

I agree that Ellie is emotionally manipulative, and that Jared was the perfect mark. He has no business bringing more children into the relationship, but for all we know she keeps getting pregnant during a month of "not trying" as far as he's concerned. Remember, she's just taking the tests to track her cycles. Jared used to be a different person and he's changed. I don't think Ellie has because you can see signs of her being like that from the beginning. I've both been in an abusive relationship and have seen one from the outside. I can completely identify with how Jared's family seems to be around Ellie. I think we can criticize how Jared is handling the miscarriage for not comforting Ellie, but I don't think we should be demonizing him. She has certainly made sure to not show empathy to him when he's upset as well.

[Nuna]

But if Ellie said "This is why I didn't want to bring the boys", that means Jared pushed it for footage. So he's just as culpable in Jackson seeing things he's too young to understand, and shouldn't be subjected to. I know how exhausting it must be to live with someone who is never happy with what she has-- always thinking that the _next_ thing will make her happy. Baby, house, dog, grass, trees-- and now another baby. But he can still protect the boys some.

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

She could also just have been lashing out and turning it around on him. Narcissists do this all the time. Ellie makes no mistakes right? If she wanted to arrange a sitter, she could have just called Bonnie, or told Jared kids weren't allowed.

You're right they are both wrong, but I disagree with people demonizing Jared all of a sudden because they identify with what Ellie is going through. Ellie and Jared's marriage is not typical, and even in a normal relationship husbands will often struggle in dealing with miscarriage. The baby isn't as real to them as it is for the woman. Some men can't even bond with their kids until they are actually born! Bottom line, Ellie is in the power position and certainly could have put her foot down so pointing the finger at Jared like she had known it was wrong and just did it anyway sounds a lot like an excuse. Like saying "I knew they should have worn a seatbelt!" after a bad car accident hurts your kids. They both took the risk.

They also had that photoshoot scheduled, so we know neither one expected for it to be anything but good news.

[natalka81]

I feel terrible for Ellie. I really do, you could see her emotions on her face when the Dr was telling her what happened. BUT that being said, Karma sucks.
When you watch Ellie's reaction dont forget this is the very same lady who called the IVF winners ON Mother's day to announce that she got pregnant their first TTC cycle.
You get what you give, I wouldnt wish a miscarriage on anyone BUT I firmly believe she has some nasty karma coming towards her. What they did to those couple who have been trying YEARS was beyond horrid.

Yes, she's a bitch for calling people experiencing IF on Mother's Day but that isn't WHY she miscarried. 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I've miscarried, I'm sure many others who comment here have miscarried, and it wasn't because they did something shitty in their life. Good people are allowed to be sad about that, and assholes are allowed to be sad about it. I'm also allowed to to be sad for anybody who is miscarrying because regardless what you've done in your life, it's a sad thing to go through.

THIS. Thank you! I was trying to say this, but couldn't quite get it out I don't think. Also, about telling the kids--- I am not opposed to them telling the kids, but it has to be done in a careful way. Certainly the last "miscarriage" was handled, in my opinion, very poorly- with the boys posing in front of the sign and all of that. And this time, taking them to the first ultrasound at 9 weeks or whatever, was definitely premature. I know I said this yesterday, but my best friend is in the middle of a miscarriage (getting a d&C as I write this) and did tell her 3 and 5 year olds that the baby inside her died, but it was done appropriately, in a comfortable and familiar setting, and without any unnecessary details. Also, the kids were not assigned the task of "helping mommy feel better". Also, ENOUGH with the condescending speeches please, Jared. "I'm proud of Ellie"??? Ugh.

[Strawberry26]

New Thread =) viewtopic.php?t=13165

Sent from my SM-G920W8 using Tapatalk

[menehune]

THIS. Thank you! I was trying to say this, but couldn't quite get it out I don't think. Also, about telling the kids--- I am not opposed to them telling the kids, but it has to be done in a careful way. Certainly the last "miscarriage" was handled, in my opinion, very poorly- with the boys posing in front of the sign and all of that. And this time, taking them to the first ultrasound at 9 weeks or whatever, was definitely premature. I know I said this yesterday, but my best friend is in the middle of a miscarriage (getting a d&C as I write this) and did tell her 3 and 5 year olds that the baby inside her died, but it was done appropriately, in a comfortable and familiar setting, and without any unnecessary details. Also, the kids were not assigned the task of "helping mommy feel better". Also, ENOUGH with the condescending speeches please, Jared. "I'm proud of Ellie"??? Ugh.

The constant praise of Ellie is a red flag for me and a sign that he gets grief for not doing so enough at home. This list of passive aggressive/narcissist traits gives a little insight into what Jared and the boys could have to deal with regularly. Might give a little insight into why it seems their relationship is strained. We have certainly seen Ellie do most (if not all) of the following...

Traits common to narcissists and passive aggressive personalities

-Negativistic outlook (many narcissists won’t exhibit this in public)
-Use denial as a frequent defense mechanism
-Manipulate and distort facts
-Do not accept (or recognize) their own feelings, actions or responsibilities
-Passively resist doing any routine, expected tasks (narcissists feel they are “above” this or will only do them if it gets them Narcissistic Supply)
-Blame others for anything and everything wrong in their lives
-Commonly complain of not being appreciated, misunderstood or under-valued
-Exaggerate their misfortunes
-Do not consider or care about other people’s feelings (although they will insist that they do)
-React with disdain, rage, and/or defiance to any slight criticism, real or imagined.

https://thenarcissisticlife.com/the-pas ... arcissist/

The woman literally thought she was pregnant and he couldn't convince her otherwise. Multiple tests couldn't convince her otherwise! This isn't normal! He tries to talk to her in a gentle and subtle way for a reason. I respect the criticism that he needs to be more firm with Ellie, but I really don't think that he is in a position to do so without repercussion. He carries on with life the way it is, or he leaves. Those are the only two options because I don't think Ellie has the ability to change.

Jared is no stranger to being warm and we've seen he does have feelings. I really do think what we are seeing is a man that is broken down and doing the best he can to cope with a tense home environment.

[dindin]

Does anyone know what the heck she is trying to say? I need an interpreter.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Everytime I read anything Ellie writes I get a headache. I guess that is what an education will get you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeahhhh, I followed it just fine until the *after they eat their dinner* part. I'm not sure how that ties into telling your children you're grateful for them.

Yeah the dinner part with the wink was what really threw me. I think she's saying she manipulates them by withholding love. I was just hoping someone might be able to come up with a better explanation. Mother of the year.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk[/quote]
Ehm, I don't see why it's so confusing: She said she's grateful for them, after they eat their dinner because they're probably refusing to eat or make a mess or something like that and only after the dinner battle is over she can realize how much she's grateful for them...
I actually relate to that, many times my 1.5 years old is driving me crazy and only when he sits quietly and listens to his father reading him a story I can see past the exhaustion and somewhat anger and actually enjoy him and be thankful for him.

[dindin]

Does anyone know what the heck she is trying to say? I need an interpreter.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Everytime I read anything Ellie writes I get a headache. I guess that is what an education will get you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeahhhh, I followed it just fine until the *after they eat their dinner* part. I'm not sure how that ties into telling your children you're grateful for them.

Yeah the dinner part with the wink was what really threw me. I think she's saying she manipulates them by withholding love. I was just hoping someone might be able to come up with a better explanation. Mother of the year.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk[/quote]
Ehm, I don't see why it's so confusing: She said she's grateful for them, after they eat their dinner because they're probably refusing to eat or make a mess or something like that and only after the dinner battle is over she can realize how much she's grateful for them...
I actually relate to that, many times my 1.5 years old is driving me crazy and only when he sits quietly and listens to his father reading him a story I can see past the exhaustion and somewhat anger and actually enjoy him and be thankful for him.

[episa]

And autism is a spectrum. People think of autism like Hollywood has portrayed it. Like Rain Man. There's all kinds of manifestations. I have no idea if Calvin actually has it or not. But saying he doesn't because he laughs and is responsive isn't right either.
That's one reason I get so angry at anti-vaxxers. As if autism is the worst thing that could happen to your child.
Justmyperception, thank you for sharing. You probably helped some people understand. My son has Asperger's, and we didn't really pick up on it until the third grade. But we did get him lots of help, and he's thriving. Hang in there!

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

I do understand all of that about autism. I have family with it. I just look at Calvin and see a boy who chooses not to talk and who seems to study things closely. I think they are going to find he is very bright. He appears very studious. What I'm saying is I think he's quiet because he is studying everything. IMO

So agreed. I don't think there is anything wrong with Calvin. I think he talks more when cameras are off. I have a boy the same age and he can't talk in sentences. He talks more and more and every time I try to get it on camera he gets shy. Calvin seems more shy and quiet and that is ok to! I am appalled actually about how mean som people in here are about those small kids. That does definetly not make you any better than what you critizise others about!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[menehune]

So agreed. I don't think there is anything wrong with Calvin. I think he talks more when cameras are off. I have a boy the same age and he can't talk in sentences. He talks more and more and every time I try to get it on camera he gets shy. Calvin seems more shy and quiet and that is ok to! I am appalled actually about how mean som people in here are about those small kids. That does definetly not make you any better than what you critizise others about!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This isn't about your child, and unless you have had a camera on him a large part of the day, his ENTIRE LIFE, it isn't the same. Ellie and Jared IG the boys all the time, and Cal doesn't talk there either. He doesn't even talk when he's mixing with the Hoellein kids and playing from a distance.

Calvin isn't shy or quiet... he screams and screeches all the time. He may not have any issues, he may have some... you don't know any better than anyone else. This may be the case with your son, but Calvin isn't your son.

And congrats on being more moral than some of the posters here

[lmmomSD]

Wonder why this thread isn't locked yet?

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

[amyfalafal]

Wonder why this thread isn't locked yet?

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

We dont have a good title as they're on a break. lol nothing else to talk about.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

Wonder why this thread isn't locked yet?

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

We dont have a good title as they're on a break. lol nothing else to talk about.

There is a new thread. Has been for awhile.
http://ytmommadrama.com/viewtopic.php?f ... &start=725