snagglesnoogle wrote:This vlog is pretty much one giant montage, and the longest most annoying Christmas vlog that ever there was … so, here it is --
It opens up with Earwig talking in her very “manly” office, that she totes need to “glam” out. She is talking about her VLOG being late, she states, “I know a couple of days have gone by and you’re probably totally over Christmas, but you’re going to LOVE it.” (You lied bitch, I don’t). But, we don’t get to see what Christmas is like with the Williams until we watch her sponsor the shit out of Ballar Cave Rub. Skip to the 3 minute mark if you want to pass over the sponsorship (the only REAL reason she got the vlog up today, probably the reason she saved her Christmas vlog too … so she would content).
Now, its Christmas Eve and they’ve just returned from their new non-denominational church or “country bumpkin” church if we go by AW’s reference. Erin decided that she needed to repent, JK … we all know she did it to keep up with the Henderson’s and draw in viewers with her church-going “wholesome” image. She pokes fun at Nick for making them arrive early, he points out that he spent many Christmas’ Eve services with “standing room only” (very true if you’ve ever been to Catholic Mass during the holidays) … Erwin then goes on to remind us that Nick USED to be Catholic. Then she states they are going to TRY to attend church every Sunday, uh-huh let’s see how that goes and Nick proclaims, “I’ve got to get this sinner to church every Sunday.” She also points out that this is her first time attending church with Nicholas and shares that he had to stop at the gas station and have NW get her flaming hot Cheetos (it’s a craving ya’ll). Eryn also uses this time to talk about how Skylla’s “nanny” got her a frozen scooter for Christmas … you know because church and materialism totally go together. They also bring up the Barbie car and tell Cryla that Santa may bring it … they don’t show her reaction but you can hear it and she really doesn’t appear to give 2 shits.
After all this church talk, Aaryn’s barely Prego ass is fucking hungry – so the first montage commences … Earwig making guacamole, chop/chop/chops onions, heats up store-bought tamales, and opens up a container of shrimp. The Christmas Jammies on are … even for the Zelle and Dutchess, and Aaron waste no time showing of “Dutchy’s” cute little pjs in the most obnoxious voice there ever was. AW puts far more care and attention showing off the cat then she ever does attending to Akeline (middle child, who?) and then they put BB to bed. Skyla stays up and makes sugar cookies with Nick/Aaryn in a clip that lasts entirely too long … by the end of her sugar filled mouth is covered in a shit ton of frosting (what the faq is a veggie?) They put cookies out for Santa, another montage of Earwig cleaning the kitchen, and everyone goes to bed. Before bed Aaryn talks about having to wake up at 6 am to “get everything ready before the girls get up” … AKA, put their lunch in the crockpot and put the cinnamon bun wreath in the oven.
Christmas morning has arrived and Earwin shows the same clips she shared on Instagram of her turning on the lights, eaten cookies, gifts, close up of the stockings and the (beloved) Barbie car on the porch. We get some clips of her cooking and then the family is awake and ready for presence (I mean presents) … they don’t know what that first word means. Nick is the first one down and talks about his “beautiful housewife” in an Aussie Accent (please, you can’t turn a ho into a housewife … you can lie to yourself all you want, but it doesn’t make it true). Within seconds of Cryla coming down the stairs (Adeline is there too, but per usual isn’t the focus of the vlog and sort-of blends into Nick in there matching pjs) there tell her to go outside and because they “think” Santa left something out there for her … Crylee looks out the window and shouts, “My Barbie Car! … I want to drive it!” in an equally obnoxious, high-pitched squeal that rivals her mother. (we also saved the big/best present for last … but to each there own I guess). They all go look at the Barbie Car (a miraculous giant piece of $500 plastic that will be forgotten in a weeks’ time, much like all the motorized vehicles they have purchased over the years …) Skyla babbles something incomprehensible, Aaryn doesn’t even try to listen and mutters something along the lines of a “that’s nice hunny” in her general direction.
They return indoors and the present extravaganza continues and there is yet another montage that pretty much is constant for the remainder of the video. We get to see Earwig open her Nordstrom Cup, and hidden inside, her beauteous diamond chip earrings – “those are so pretty Nick” (who are you trying to convince … us or yourself?) We also get to see her open up her hideous silver bow Uggs and Louis Vuitton wallet which she happily sniffs (yum, smells like wealth) Nicky opens up his gifts … looks like he may have gotten an Apple Watch but honestly, it’s not clear. The montage stops around the 19:44 second mark and we see a clip of Skyla in the backyard with her Barbie Mobile, she rides it for literally 30 seconds before hoping off and proclaiming she is DONZO. Wow, seems like she truly/really wanted and needed that. Lunchtime approaches and Aaaryn is "not obsessed” with her crockpot meal, “I mean it’s still good but not great” (AKA, it’s not fast food, processed or sugar so I’m not sure what to make of it!) Earrwin then starts dinner at 530 as “the girls” are napping … AW says, “I am exhausted from cleaning the kitchen …. Oh, and pregnancy.” Aaryn is feeling ALL of the pregnancy symptoms, way worse than with her other pregnancies but being the martyr that she is, she is going to push on and make the damn dinner. She cooks dinner – literally doesn’t mention if it was good and/or bad so I am thinking it was nothing special. The vlog ends with her talking about how sweepy she is and how sad she is about not getting a family photo (not sad enough to do anything though …) Aaryn revels on how much she did today, “I cleaned … did all of the cooking and everything .." Congratulations Airhead, you did what most people do on a daily basis and on that note that vlog is over.
THANK YOU! I have not been able to make myself watch a vlog of hers in quite some time.