Joan & John: Buy my crap and pay my Bills | Part #4

[2rcmeeksrichards2]

I think they will do egg donor if they attempt again.

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It’s hard to speculate on this one because technically the baby wouldn’t be biologically Joan’s. It could end up looking like John, but there’s a good chance it will look like the donor parent and nothing like John or Vera (or Joan’s imagined perfect child Maeve).

Plus she keeps going on about how adoption isn’t right for their family. Genetically, to her, it would be an adoption of John’s child that she could carry. I personally can’t see her doing it (even if John desperately wanted another child. And I get the impression that he’s content with Vera)


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[MarshmallowBreath]

I think they will do egg donor if they attempt again.

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It’s hard to speculate on this one because technically the baby wouldn’t be biologically Joan’s. It could end up looking like John, but there’s a good chance it will look like the donor parent and nothing like John or Vera (or Joan’s imagined perfect child Maeve).

Plus she keeps going on about how adoption isn’t right for their family. Genetically, to her, it would be an adoption of John’s child that she could carry. I personally can’t see her doing it (even if John desperately wanted another child. And I get the impression that he’s content with Vera)


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You make a good point about the biology of it but then again she is obsessed with being pregnant and the attention from it so who knows


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[Kataja]

I think deep down she despises John, so baby only with his genetics wouldn't sit right with her.

[Sammypants]

I think deep down she despises John, so baby only with his genetics wouldn't sit right with her.

I agree but I also think her desire for Vera to have a sibling and her want to be pregnant slightly out weigh her dislike for him. I also think it would give her more reason to put Maeve on a pedestal.

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[HelloSweetie]

Adopting an embryo would allow Joan to make a designer baby. No doubt she’d pick a guitar playing, free spirit with red hair like she expected Maeve to be.


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[Nikier]

This rubs me the wrong way.
I have 3 kids and I’ve never referred their crib as _____’s hand me down crib.. it’s just whoever was using it at the times crib.
I hate that she has to work Maeve into every detail of Veras existence.

[artist7918]

This rubs me the wrong way.
I have 3 kids and I’ve never referred their crib as _____’s hand me down crib.. it’s just whoever was using it at the times crib.
I hate that she has to work Maeve into every detail of Veras existence.

She has sooo many issues

How about just putting the blurb about how the crib converts, and then that it was gifted by grandma. The other stuff is irrelevant and pointless and she’s constantly crushing Vera’s existence and childhood into oblivion.

Maybe we can start a fundraiser for Vera’s future therapy bills - she’ll be needing a lot if it. And since her narcissistic mother spends more time fantasizing about the perfect life she’d have had with her stillborn child, I imagine Vera’s mental health will be completely overlooked.

[lmmomSD]

Does anyone else think that when Vera acts out, Joan is going to pull the "why can't you be like your sister" line on her? "Maeve wouldn't skip school". "Maeve wouldn't stay out past curfew". Things like that...

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[actuallydear]

But on the other hand when Vera is a teenager she will pull the card of "I wish Maeve lived so I didn't have to" but then I wouldn't be shocked if Joan says "Me too".

[artist7918]

Does anyone else think that when Vera acts out, Joan is going to pull the "why can't you be like your sister" line on her? "Maeve wouldn't skip school". "Maeve wouldn't stay out past curfew". Things like that...

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Absolutely, and it’s sooo destructive.

[10PumpsOfVanilla]

Has anyone seen Little Fires Everywhere? Joan reminds me of Reese Witherspoon's character, especially with her youngest daughter. I see a lot of those scenarios playing out in the future for them. How sad.

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[2rcmeeksrichards2]

Has anyone seen Little Fires Everywhere? Joan reminds me of Reese Witherspoon's character, especially with her youngest daughter. I see a lot of those scenarios playing out in the future for them. How sad.

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Oh absolutely.

It’s a sad thing, but the longer Joan acts this way and continues to publicly ‘grieve’ the more likely that her relationship with Vera in future is going to suffer.

Also, from her stories it’s as we suspected that Joan is the one pushing another IVF. No surprises there. I really hope John puts his foot down and doesn’t let her do this again. Vera is going to be getting to an age where she remembers things soon and if the arguments caused by their last IVF (from her comment about the strain on their marriage) is anything to go by, Vera is going to be exposed to some damaging stuff.


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[MarshmallowBreath]

Has anyone seen Little Fires Everywhere? Joan reminds me of Reese Witherspoon's character, especially with her youngest daughter. I see a lot of those scenarios playing out in the future for them. How sad.

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Oh absolutely.

It’s a sad thing, but the longer Joan acts this way and continues to publicly ‘grieve’ the more likely that her relationship with Vera in future is going to suffer.

Also, from her stories it’s as we suspected that Joan is the one pushing another IVF. No surprises there. I really hope John puts his foot down and doesn’t let her do this again. Vera is going to be getting to an age where she remembers things soon and if the arguments caused by their last IVF (from her comment about the strain on their marriage) is anything to go by, Vera is going to be exposed to some damaging stuff.


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It’s super toxic how she blasts their marital shit on Instagram...”Oh we aren’t doing a fundraiser yet because Johns heart isn’t there”. It’s so obvious they are not on the same page for any of this.


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[Mk1]

I know someone said on here recently that they wondered if Joan would use a donor egg for another round and I truly feel/felt that she wouldn’t, especially the way she talks about how she would never adopt and how it wouldn’t be the same if the child wasn’t “hers” and whatnot. I was shocked to see her post about how *if* they do another round (or apparently 5 with a donor?) she would probably do a donor egg because the transfers haven’t worked with her eggs (except with Vera) and that she is at peace with that and truly feels it’s “right” or whatever. Like I still cannot at all picture her loving a child that isn’t biologically hers. She has said that over and over again and in many different ways before. It’s not truly about wanting a living sibling for Vera. She wants the attention pregnancy and a newborn gets here and probably the extra views and income that comes along with such videos, gender reveals, birth vlogs, all her drama, etc. If it was truly about her wanting a sibling for Vera I feel like she’d be more open to adoption - or at least equally as much as she is supposedly now suddenly okay with using a donor and having a baby that has nothing of her genetically. We already see how Vera is treated and thought of and compared to her image of what perfect Maeve would have been like. I can’t imagine her using a donor and having a baby that way and treating the baby as an equal to Vera. I feel like it would be that sad stepchild kind of situation where the step-parent (and not in ANY way saying there aren’t amazing step-parents out there who don’t love and treat their step-children as their own) very obviously favors their child over the step-child. You know what I mean? I feel like it would be kind of an Ellie type thing where she has another baby for the attention and sympathy when she doesn’t feel well or something about the pregnancy isn’t perfect, she’ll love the baby while it’s a newborn and then kind of be over it and onto focusing on the next thing and not treating him/her the same as Vera because it doesn’t have her genetics and she feels a disconnect to the new baby. Does anyone else feel that way about this situation? If she is broadcasting their marital issues (now I know the stress and emotions of infertility and treatments and the financial aspect of that can put stress on a marriage but they have never seemed that solid or connected of a couple anyway and it’s always about Joan and what she wants and needs) and John really doesn’t want to do all of this again, I really hope they can manage to be at peace and happy with the daughter they do have and move on. She is just so unstable and continuing to do this, especially if not successful and with their financial and marital issues, that I just can’t see this being good for anyone involved - especially if further attempts are also unsuccessful - if they were to start an IVF cycle again. It’s very worrisome and concerning to me.

[actuallydear]

What's the process like for donor eggs? Is it as intense as adopting a baby? I don't know if there's a psych test or counseling but if there is, Joan would not pass it.

[Edenberry]

What's the process like for donor eggs? Is it as intense as adopting a baby? I don't know if there's a psych test or counseling but if there is, Joan would not pass it.

I found a really good article on the basics of egg donation, short and informative: https://www.fcionline.com/fertility-blo ... -egg-donor

Joan is in such an unhealthy head space. This isn't a good idea. I do not think she is capable of overcoming the fact that a new baby form a donor egg won't biologically be hers, but will be John's. She'll carry the baby and delivery, but she's just doesn't seem to be mentally stable enough to handle those facts. Maeve had "her" features. A donor egg will not. It might have John's, but nothing from her. That takes a mentality she does not possess. Vera isn't even enough for her.

[GGF1987]

This rubs me the wrong way.
I have 3 kids and I’ve never referred their crib as _____’s hand me down crib.. it’s just whoever was using it at the times crib.
I hate that she has to work Maeve into every detail of Veras existence.

I don't know how it could not rub someone the wrong way. Maeve never used that crib, it's not Maeve's. It's Vera's.
That is just so weird!

[2rcmeeksrichards2]

WTF? Why has she posted this on Instagram? Honestly, if I were John I’d be after a divorce sooner than another inevitable failed round of IVF.

She is so toxic. How did she think this was a good idea? She is painting John to her followers as the reason they’re not having another child. Her marriage is a total sham.

Run John! And take Vera with you!


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[lmmomSD]

John is far from perfect. He's passive aggressive AF. But he obviously adores Vera. From everything I have seen of him with her, she is her own very special person, not a sorry replacement for perfect Maeve.
Why do I get the feeling that John "coming around" to the idea of IVF is just her nagging and at it like a dog with a bone until he gives in just to get her to stop bugging him?

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[Justwanttosnark]

John is far from perfect. He's passive aggressive AF. But he obviously adores Vera. From everything I have seen of him with her, she is her own very special person, not a sorry replacement for perfect Maeve.
Why do I get the feeling that John "coming around" to the idea of IVF is just her nagging and at it like a dog with a bone until he gives in just to get her to stop bugging him?

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I bet he'll give in eventually just to have to not deal with her asking about it anymore.