8 Passengers : The Dementia Years | Part #12

[natalka81]

I've been thinking a lot about this wilderness camp and I think the thing that bothers me the most is how (and I realise this may be a very unusual opinion) it kind of amounts to corporal punishment. The impact on the kids' bodies is enormous. In many countries, mine included, if a child or teenage misbehaves at home the parents are prohibited by law to punish them in ways that would cause pain, limited access to food, and other such things. Sending a kid into an environment where he will be sleeping under improper shelter, exercising to the point of complete exhaustion, likely be over-heated and freezing cold, will probably get hungry often, and is at high risk for injury, etc. doesn't seem fair. IF the child knows all these conditions will be part of a summer camp program and chooses to participate anyway (and so many kids do and love it) then that's a different story, but to go from 'bad behaviour' to essentially surviving in the wilderness when you have no say is tantamount to physical abuse.

[CoolDad]

I've been thinking a lot about this wilderness camp and I think the thing that bothers me the most is how (and I realise this may be a very unusual opinion) it kind of amounts to corporal punishment. The impact on the kids' bodies is enormous. In many countries, mine included, if a child or teenage misbehaves at home the parents are prohibited by law to punish them in ways that would cause pain, limited access to food, and other such things. Sending a kid into an environment where he will be sleeping under improper shelter, exercising to the point of complete exhaustion, likely be over-heated and freezing cold, will probably get hungry often, and is at high risk for injury, etc. doesn't seem fair. IF the child knows all these conditions will be part of a summer camp program and chooses to participate anyway (and so many kids do and love it) then that's a different story, but to go from 'bad behaviour' to essentially surviving in the wilderness when you have no say is tantamount to physical abuse.

So true. To be honest I feel that both Ruby and Kevin have a very primitive way of parenting. Particularly odd giving that they had an higher education level than their own parents and primary role models (apparently). But even the basic: healthy food and on time, proper sleep patterns, dental care, school (and commute) and real quality time (not a treat or a fast food snack), are neglected or forgot.

On a side note about the send away/fix it/dismiss perspective that looks recurrent on that family, they have the exact same behavior pattern with the family pets. They do not plan ahead, they did not evaluate the responsibility of having a (several) pet at home. The result: most were sent away because it was too troublesome to keep.
The same goes for the plants, food/pantry, gadgets, potential dates, friendships... everything and everyone in and around that family looks disposable! < If it is high maintenance, use it for a while and find a substitute as soon as you feel overwhelmed > seams to be the motto for them.

Show me how you manage your house, plants and pets and I will foresee how you will manage a kid

[Alwaystired]

I have to say... I agree with Ruby about not getting Eves ears pierced yet. Keeping them clean while they heal is a lot for a 6 year old (assuming Ruby wouldn't help her) *shrug*

[cvntlord0606]

the way eve pouts like that when she doesn't get what she wants has to stop. Ruby tolerates it of course but I don't think she will get away with that now that she goes to school and I can see it leading to problems later on.

[ctx2002]

the way eve pouts like that when she doesn't get what she wants has to stop. Ruby tolerates it of course but I don't think she will get away with that now that she goes to school and I can see it leading to problems later on.

I remember pointing out a long time ago how weird I found the way Eve makes these exaggerated sad/pouty facial expressions for attention and to be manipulative. Or at least as manipulative as a six year old can be. Part of the reason I usually skip over anything involving her in the vlogs nowadays, aside from the day to day life of a six year old not holding any interest for me.

[ghostboy]

I've been thinking a lot about this wilderness camp and I think the thing that bothers me the most is how (and I realise this may be a very unusual opinion) it kind of amounts to corporal punishment. The impact on the kids' bodies is enormous. In many countries, mine included, if a child or teenage misbehaves at home the parents are prohibited by law to punish them in ways that would cause pain, limited access to food, and other such things. Sending a kid into an environment where he will be sleeping under improper shelter, exercising to the point of complete exhaustion, likely be over-heated and freezing cold, will probably get hungry often, and is at high risk for injury, etc. doesn't seem fair. IF the child knows all these conditions will be part of a summer camp program and chooses to participate anyway (and so many kids do and love it) then that's a different story, but to go from 'bad behaviour' to essentially surviving in the wilderness when you have no say is tantamount to physical abuse.

YES!
you've put into words everything that's been bothering me about this whole thing, so thank you
AND it puts him in a super vulnerable position where he's entirely relying on strangers - and while that can go well, it can also set him up for all kinds of abuse - i'm including at the hands of the other kids at the camp here too - they're gonna be hungry and tired and feeling like shit

also this will probably sound super lame but they'd better be letting those kids wear sunscreen - sun damage to skin is no joke, and they're in the middle of the fucking desert
when ruby said his hair had gone bleach blond all i could think about was whether or not they're being encouraged to wear hats

[YTIG60]

I've been thinking a lot about this wilderness camp and I think the thing that bothers me the most is how (and I realise this may be a very unusual opinion) it kind of amounts to corporal punishment. The impact on the kids' bodies is enormous. In many countries, mine included, if a child or teenage misbehaves at home the parents are prohibited by law to punish them in ways that would cause pain, limited access to food, and other such things. Sending a kid into an environment where he will be sleeping under improper shelter, exercising to the point of complete exhaustion, likely be over-heated and freezing cold, will probably get hungry often, and is at high risk for injury, etc. doesn't seem fair. IF the child knows all these conditions will be part of a summer camp program and chooses to participate anyway (and so many kids do and love it) then that's a different story, but to go from 'bad behaviour' to essentially surviving in the wilderness when you have no say is tantamount to physical abuse.

So true. To be honest I feel that both Ruby and Kevin have a very primitive way of parenting. Particularly odd giving that they had an higher education level than their own parents and primary role models (apparently). But even the basic: healthy food and on time, proper sleep patterns, dental care, school (and commute) and real quality time (not a treat or a fast food snack), are neglected or forgot.

On a side note about the send away/fix it/dismiss perspective that looks recurrent on that family, they have the exact same behavior pattern with the family pets. They do not plan ahead, they did not evaluate the responsibility of having a (several) pet at home. The result: most were sent away because it was too troublesome to keep.
The same goes for the plants, food/pantry, gadgets, potential dates, friendships... everything and everyone in and around that family looks disposable! < If it is high maintenance, use it for a while and find a substitute as soon as you feel overwhelmed > seams to be the motto for them.

Show me how you manage your house, plants and pets and I will foresee how you will manage a kid

I agree with both comments and I'm not convince Ruby and Kevin will make the needed parenting changes because it is hard.
I wasn't able to find the reason why Chad was forced to leave private school, but it is clear in one vlog Ruby wants him to return.
Does Chad have any rights to protect his privacy with these two parents on YouTube. This is not good publicity for him in his community.
Kevin should realize this since he knows how social media can affect Chad's future including college.

[Kataja]

I don't understand this one at all with the vlog update about Chad. She mentioned mental illness? Why isn't public school set up for Chad's needs? He seems to have a good peer group that goes to this school, he is involved in athletics including dance and home school has not been successful from what I've seen on their vlogs. The first few weeks of a school year are important and Ruby saying education is "secondary" doesn't usually work well. I don't know how he catches up especially if they don't know where he'll go to school when he returns. To me, they seem determined to get him back to private school and will he need to repeat a semester or grade?
Face it, they are making money off these vlogs too. I'm not at all impressed with their parenting.

This is what I think is going on. Part of being a teenager is learning to think for yourself and that is now clashing what he has always been taught.Chad is not willing to follow their religious rules. He cannot go to public school because public school doesn't provide as religious environment that they need to keep indoctrinating Chad. His unwillingness to bend to their ridiculous rules and Ruby's control is reason that he is classified by Ruby to have ''mental illness''. At least she is insinuating that. That is so thick coming from her, when she literally talks about shame and shaming on that video.

At least Ruby identified that she and her control-freakyness is what harmed their relationship.

I found it very curious that Ruby was talking about ''false-belief systems''. (time-stamp 2:45 on ''anwering questions about Chad'')
I don't know if she is referring to Mormonism or non-Mormonism but I totally think that she is thinking that Chad has been affected by those and needs to be purified somehow. (Also, her talk about this generation not tolerating hate and injustices, how about your views on homosexuality Ruby...)

[Catface2]

Who in their right mind labels everything in their fridge? Her control issues are so deep! Very scary

[nikki20031]

Has anyone seen Shari's back to school morning routine? I kind of don't blame Shari for taking about her siblings as 'the kids', because in a way she is a second mother to them.

She has a lot of responsibility to make sure everyone is up, ready, had breakfast, packed lunches, and ready to go on time. That's what a mom usually does. She said her mom can't because she's busy.

I honestly think Ruby is enjoying this stage where she can have Shari take on a lot of the responsibility. She just has to focus on delegating for her You Tube business, and hanging out with friends for lunch.

I also think that Ruby is more involved with school field trips, school performances, and county fairs, more now than she was when Shari and Chad were young. It isn't necessarily about quality time, but about good content for her family channel.

They remind me of those lottery shows when people who never had much money suddenly come into a windfall. They spend it all on stuff, only to need more and more money to maintain that stuff.

[thealiengirlkathryn]

Has anyone seen Shari's back to school morning routine? I kind of don't blame Shari for taking about her siblings as 'the kids', because in a way she is a second mother to them.

She has a lot of responsibility to make sure everyone is up, ready, had breakfast, packed lunches, and ready to go on time. That's what a mom usually does. She said her mom can't because she's busy.

I honestly think Ruby is enjoying this stage where she can have Shari take on a lot of the responsibility. She just has to focus on delegating for her You Tube business, and hanging out with friends for lunch.

I also think that Ruby is more involved with school field trips, school performances, and county fairs, more now than she was when Shari and Chad were young. It isn't necessarily about quality time, but about good content for her family channel.

They remind me of those lottery shows when people who never had much money suddenly come into a windfall. They spend it all on stuff, only to need more and more money to maintain that stuff.

I know most of us on this thread aren't big fans of Shari and i'm not either but I kinda hope one day she cracks and turns on her mother and makes some tell all video on her channel. It shouldn't be a 16-year-old's job to look after her younger siblings when the parent is able to do so themselves. Shari isn't my favorite person but I do feel bad for her.

[Catface2]

I really can’t wait to see what the hell Shari is actually allergic to. Her congestion is horrible. I hope she doesn’t take Benadryl while driving! Not good. Also not wise to drive with AirPods in...you need to hear shit on the road. Omg

[lmmomSD]

the way eve pouts like that when she doesn't get what she wants has to stop. Ruby tolerates it of course but I don't think she will get away with that now that she goes to school and I can see it leading to problems later on.

It's because Ruby rewards the behavior. She's always telling Eve that she "can't stay mad at her because she's so cute". Who says that to a misbehaving 6 year old?

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[lilacbaker16]

Has anyone seen Shari's back to school morning routine? I kind of don't blame Shari for taking about her siblings as 'the kids', because in a way she is a second mother to them.

She has a lot of responsibility to make sure everyone is up, ready, had breakfast, packed lunches, and ready to go on time. That's what a mom usually does. She said her mom can't because she's busy.

I honestly think Ruby is enjoying this stage where she can have Shari take on a lot of the responsibility. She just has to focus on delegating for her You Tube business, and hanging out with friends for lunch.

I also think that Ruby is more involved with school field trips, school performances, and county fairs, more now than she was when Shari and Chad were young. It isn't necessarily about quality time, but about good content for her family channel.

They remind me of those lottery shows when people who never had much money suddenly come into a windfall. They spend it all on stuff, only to need more and more money to maintain that stuff.

Shari was making it sound like Ruby had a real job. Does she or is it just YouTube? When Shari’s out if the house I honestly don’t think Chad is going to take on the responsibility. Eve seems bratty, also.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

Has anyone seen Shari's back to school morning routine? I kind of don't blame Shari for taking about her siblings as 'the kids', because in a way she is a second mother to them.

She has a lot of responsibility to make sure everyone is up, ready, had breakfast, packed lunches, and ready to go on time. That's what a mom usually does. She said her mom can't because she's busy.

I honestly think Ruby is enjoying this stage where she can have Shari take on a lot of the responsibility. She just has to focus on delegating for her You Tube business, and hanging out with friends for lunch.

I also think that Ruby is more involved with school field trips, school performances, and county fairs, more now than she was when Shari and Chad were young. It isn't necessarily about quality time, but about good content for her family channel.

They remind me of those lottery shows when people who never had much money suddenly come into a windfall. They spend it all on stuff, only to need more and more money to maintain that stuff.

I know most of us on this thread aren't big fans of Shari and i'm not either but I kinda hope one day she cracks and turns on her mother and makes some tell all video on her channel. It shouldn't be a 16-year-old's job to look after her younger siblings when the parent is able to do so themselves. Shari isn't my favorite person but I do feel bad for her.

I'm rooting for a tell all video too, however Shari has shown us multiple times how she intentionally misrepresents herself on these videos. For example, Shari is shown to be the sole responsible party in her own morning routine videos. Which would explain why she chose the one day Ruby has to be up and out early to take Abby to harp lessons and school. Ruby shows herself as the sole responsible party in her own morning routine videos, while every other recent video generally shows Abby/Julie responsible for waking people up, getting Eve ready and making breakfast, etc.

Shari even admits that it isn't her responsibility to police her siblings regarding chores, and it was very misleading when she said that she does this to help out since her mother "works". I don't know if her motive is to appear as the perfect Mormon wife in training, or it is just for the power kick, but she only does this for the camera. We have seen her push her own chores onto Abby and Julie, like taking care of Prickles. What did she really do besides wake them up? They all dressed & fed themselves, made their own lunches, etc. Ruby even did Eve's hair before she had to leave. Ruby is an undeniably selfish & lazy parent, but Shari seems to have learned everything she knows from her mother. Sloughing off responsibilities while simultaneously producing videos that make it seem like you are working tirelessly. Until someone else is directing the shoot and you get exposed....

[Kataja]

I've also said this long ago, but Evie's facial expressions do not seem natural to me. She is constantly ''acting''. What's up with that?

[PBandJelly]

I watched grandma and grandpa griffiths' "how we met" video on their channel. for those who don't want to watch-- Jennifer and Chad met through their family home evening church groups that were created through their ward while they were attending what is now BYU-Idaho. They met in September and were married that November. While they do seem to be very much in love and very happy together, I think this set up unrealistic expectations for their daughters... they all seemed super anxious to marry ASAP. A few of them (Ruby and Bonnie?) even had engagements in high school that ended for some reason or another.

I guess my point is: Is it any wonder that Ruby went to college, "hunted" for an engineering student boyfriend, got engaged after a few weeks of knowing Kevin and got married after a few months? She basically sought to follow the path her parents took.

sorry to derail the thread... just thought it was interesting.

[lmmomSD]

I've also said this long ago, but Evie's facial expressions do not seem natural to me. She is constantly ''acting''. What's up with that?

She's rewarded for acting. Plain and simple.

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[Catface2]

Did they just show the curling iron in the bathroom sink still plugged in?!

[nectarinepunch]

New here but had never come across any of the kids ( of the Griffith's) until just recently because I only came to know Chad and Jennifer when I watched a suggestion, but boy was I eager to discuss this when I found out not only did they have a lot of kids, but they all seemed to be off to me.
Chad and Jen seemed alright, but it took me a while to warm to them and I still haven't fully but some of their videos are homey and was nice to sometimes watch just them because I didn't have much time with grandparents and lacked what they kind of offer. But there was always something that just didn't sit well and made me think they weren't totally genuine.... Enter their kids... JC on a pogo stick!! They're all kinds of messed up. Ellie and Jared( esp Jared) just unnerve me. Can't stand Bonnie. But Ruby really takes the cake. I'm CF by choice so not a lot of this resonates with me anyways but I do get very intrigued about watching the family lives of others though I mostly frequent other types of channels. I couldn't believe the Franke family has so many freaking subs, because from what I was seeing, there was nothing appealing. I recently saw the video sending Chad away and Kevin talking about how he's not there to "be fixed" and because they wouldn't just come out with why he was actually going I thought he was gay or something, which would undoubtedly be tiptoed around and everyone bs'ed to about. Then saw the more recent upload where Ruby bs'ed about mental illness and shame, and again, no real answers as to why he's there. Could have been anything honestly, but it's SO so telling that he's not ready to come home. Wish he could just run away from there too to be honest. I was also sick about her playing the recording from him and being so excited to show the world. He seemed emotional and like that was a message specifically for his parents and she just plays it like he's there just for her to pimp him out for $$.

That's my biggest problem with this whole entire family is that everything seems some sort of an illusion they want you to believe so they can keep up appearances. None of these people are good parents, especially Ruby. She seems the most controlling of all of her siblings, but I now have put my finger on it about Chad and Jennifer.. I think they're quite controlling too without the most obvious signs. I recently saw the Griffiths xmas '88 video and Beau said he got panties when he was TINY and Chad was like " SON SON, boys SAY UNDERWEAR! say underwear." really defiantly and almost angrily. That's not gently guiding your children, that's dictating to them.


The whole thing's gross. I could go on for days in this one post but I'm glad to be here and discuss with others. I grew up in church ( protestant) but don't really subscribe to a lot of that anymore and am going through an endless questioning period because there's just so much I find wrong with religion and the way things happen if such a God exists; so watching some of these vlogs with this very forced groupthink is really educational but also quite disturbing.