Advice about pregnancy

[Rlbreezy]

Hello...I usually just come here to read the gossip and never comment on anything especially since I got locked out of my last account (hollygolightly) but I'm now having to make a really difficult situation. I just found out I'm pregnant again and I have no clue what I'm going to do. This will be my second child. I had my first in March of 2012. This baby will have a different father than my first. My oldest has a great father, but I'm afraid this one won't. This baby's father is 28 and let it be known to me early in our relationship that he never wanted wanted kids and didn't like them so we tried so hard to prevent it. We only went without a condom once and I took the plan b pill an hour after it happened and yet the pill failed. He wants me to get an abortion and I somewhat agree especially since I'm living with my mom right now and I'm working all the time to try to find my own place at the moment, but at the same time I want to have the baby and try to make it work with 2 kids in tow. Plus my mom is really judgmental and will have a lot to say about me getting pregnant out of wedlock twice with two different guys. I'm so confused. He made an appointment for me to go to a abortion center next monday but I'm on the fence about going. I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place but I just had to let it all out since I feel like I don't have anyone else to talk to right now.

[Chevbowlyn]

How far along are you? I'm very anti-abortion unless if it's a risk to the mother's health and there is no way the baby will survive outside of the womb, but if a women is going to, I like to see it done as early as possible. I think you have three choices: A) get the abortion done and either see about getting on some birth control like the copper piece that last 10 years or rethink your relationship b) keep the baby, better your situation and see if maybe your boyfriend changes(I use to hate children as a kid and here I am now with four and addicted to babies, lol) or c) be very selfless and give that baby up for adoption.

That's all I can really help with. Sorry

[Rlbreezy]

How far along are you? I'm very anti-abortion unless if it's a risk to the mother's health and there is no way the baby will survive outside of the womb, but if a women is going to, I like to see it done as early as possible. I think you have three choices: A) get the abortion done and either see about getting on some birth control like the copper piece that last 10 years or rethink your relationship b) keep the baby, better your situation and see if maybe your boyfriend changes(I use to hate children as a kid and here I am now with four and addicted to babies, lol) or c) be very selfless and give that baby up for adoption.

That's all I can really help with. Sorry

I'm 4 weeks and 2 days along now. I do agree on having it done early on. I'm prochoice but always said that I will never get an abortion myself, but at the same time I never thought I would be in this kind of situation also. I'm hoping he changes his mind about children and open up to the idea, but he keeps saying how he has nobody to help him and he would be screwed if I kept the baby (his family is in Bolivia). If I go past 6 weeks I'm most definitely keeping the baby. They have a heartbeat by then so I wouldn't be able to do it past that.

[FLOSSY77]

I wouldn't let his opinion dictate what you do. You have to live with it either way.

[Chevbowlyn]

By the fourth week, the heart starts to form and by the fifth week it starts to beat. By the sixth week us when it can be heard.

[Rlbreezy]

I wouldn't let his opinion dictate what you do. You have to live with it either way.

I already to him that I don't give a (excuse my french) shit what he wants and what he does. But at the same time I don't want a fatherless child...

[Rlbreezy]

By the fourth week, the heart starts to form and by the fifth week it starts to beat. By the sixth week us when it can be heard.

I know. I will never forget hearing my first child's heartbeat at 5 weeks 4 days. Best sound ever. I actually would love to experience that again

[briannaspeaks]

The best thing I can say is if you have the slightest ounce of not wanting to get an abortion then don't get it.
It's something you can never take back..
And if you are feeling iffy about it from the start, then that speaks a lot.

[gypsophila]

Be prepared to be a single mother of two, with no help from the second father, and no relationship with him. He doesn't want the baby. It won't bring you back together, or make your relationship any better. So be clear on all that. He might even leave you as soon as you tell him you're keeping the baby, or soon after. You will have a lifetime of struggle ahead of you and there will be guys who won't come near you with 2 kids from 2 different guys. Don't see this as a fantasy or fairytale, because it's not. You are the one with options right now. You will only have 2 options if you wait--keep the baby or give it up for adoption. It's your choice, and no one can judge you for your decision. Just choose wisely, knowing all the pitfalls of each choice. Take care.

Edit: I'm not trying to be mean. This is exactly what I would tell one of my daughters if one was in your place. Then I would support them in their decision.

[ladybug]

I say keep the baby. Most women regret abortions and if you go through with it your relationship will more than likely be destroyed with him anyways. You probably won't be able to look at him or sleep with him knowing what went down...

[Rlbreezy]

Be prepared to be a single mother of two, with no help from the second father, and no relationship with him. He doesn't want the baby. It won't bring you back together, or make your relationship any better. So be clear on all that. He might even leave you as soon as you tell him you're keeping the baby, or soon after. You will have a lifetime of struggle ahead of you and there will be guys who won't come near you with 2 kids from 2 different guys. Don't see this as a fantasy or fairytale, because it's not. You are the one with options right now. You will only have 2 options if you wait--keep the baby or give it up for adoption. It's your choice, and no one can judge you for your decision. Just choose wisely, knowing all the pitfalls of each choice. Take care.

Edit: I'm not trying to be mean. This is exactly what I would tell one of my daughters if one was in your place. Then I would support them in their decision.

Didn't see it as being mean. You were being honest and I appreciate that.

[Rlbreezy]

I say keep the baby. Most women regret abortions and if you go through with it your relationship will more than likely be destroyed with him anyways. You probably won't be able to look at him or sleep with him knowing what went down...

I'm actually leaning on keeping it. He says that if I keep the baby I'm going to hate him because when I see the baby I'm going to always see him. I feel like if I go through with the abortion I'm going to hate him a lot more

[FLOSSY77]

I think you already have the answer. It will work out. Congrats.