Early mid-life crisis?

[Littlewaltz]

I am not sure if any of the other "older" posters here can relate or not but I am 30 almost 31 and I am losing my mind. This past year I have just gone crazy and nothing is going how it should.

Example: I was engaged to a great guy, half planned a wedding and I just froze up. My anxiety went through the roof and I pushed the date back, it seemed like once I hit the 8 month away mark I just couldn't deal. He eventually decided I wasn't "taking this seriously enough" and called everything off. Even though I was kind of relieved I was still crushed. A few months later a few of my girlfriends wanted to go to England and France so I was like yeah sure. Planned my trip and we went and the 4th night in London we met these british soldiers and holy crap.

I met one of them and we hung out for the night until we left the bar and he asked for my number, I gave it to him not expecting him to call or he probably just wanted to hook up or something. He called me bright and early the next morning and asked me out to breakfast and I agreed...we hung out every day we were there (along with his friends and my friends) and then we went to France (just me and my friends). Well on our way back to Canada we had another 1 night stay in London...I never got on the plane the next day.I stayed there with him for 6 weeks....SIX extra weeks. I eventually came home and I couldn't stop thinking about him and told myself it was just a thing and I would get over it. Well he got deployed to Cyprus and guess where I went for another 5 weeks? Mhm, he wants to move here in August. Oh and he is only 21.

What the fuck am I doing? Is this a mid life crisis? Am I crazy? I feel like I should be on Dr.Phil or something. I can't really talk about this to anyone else since pretty much everyone close to me is disappointed I didn't marry the guy I was with at first and think I am an idiot so I am just kind of ranting here. Sorry.

Anyone else ever just go off left field one day? I have also been skydiving, and got like 3 new tattoos and a bunch of other stupid shit.

[fossilfinger]

If you feel good about it and feel your life is going in a better direction, it's not a crisis. There's nothing wrong with shifting paths at a later age than the societal norm dictates. I'm 29 and am going back to school for a whole new career after spending 8 years doing things I hate. Just go with what feels right as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Good luck with everything!