Comparing The Griffiths (Post at your own risk!)

Unread post by **HelloSweetie** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 9:07 am

I am making this thread with Kryptonite's permission. This is a thread where we are free to compare all of the Griffiths. Post here at your own risk! If you choose to do so understand that, as in any debate, there will be opposing ends to the discussion. It is a place for us to discuss the Griffiths without clogging up the regular threads with debate. To keep this from breaking out into a war, state your point, and defend your opinion within 2-3 posts, and then move on. Discuss the issues, NOT other users (take that to the Boxing Ring or PM the user). Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and may express it in a civil manner. Please try to refrain from passive aggressive call outs, and bait tactics, as we don't want this thread to be any trouble for the mods. Let's all be reasonable, try to get along, and just have a good discussion

. Like them or not, the Griffiths are certainly interesting to watch!

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Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:52 am

This is sort of a comparison?

So the thing I like about Bonnie and Joel is that they seem very at ease with their lives. Life in a house with 4 children would be crazy, but they seem to go with the flow as much as they can. Ruby and her husband seem at ease too, as do Beau and Emily (from what I have seen). They are all the oldest Griffiths, does his come from maturity or their spouse's influence?

In contrast, we have Julie and Landon, who really seems like he's struggling to find himself. Has tried a few different careers in a relatively short time, has many things on the go at once.... it feels like his focus and Julie's (make babies and keep a home) are in a bit of contrast. This I think is the same for E&J. Jared is clearly trying to find a success larger than what they currently have. He's trying many things, and trying too hard. It's almost erratic. They are constantly talking about "the future" and rarely seen at ease with the present. There is a restlessness to their vlogs.

What does everyone think?

Unread post by **minmouse** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:17 pm

I think it is because Bonnie, Beau and Ruby are older and settled. The have been married for a while, have several kids and already have a house. They are more established and settled. E&J and J&L seem to be still finding themselves and settling into life. There is a comfort as you get older and have had more years to set roots. E&J and J&L will get there too eventually. They are just at different points in their lives.

Unread post by **GymChick** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:27 pm

I think it's maturity and personality. I'm a year older than Ellie, I went through school, hubby, house, baby but I was always happy content go with the flow. My hubby on the other hand isn't and is more like Ellie in that sense. He realllly wants something quick, he is inpatient to wait and pay his dues. And then once he has it he is focusing on the next thing. Luckily I keep him grounded

after the house Ellie will be focused on the Finland trip. I think Ellie is a keeping up with the Jones type in my opinion

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Unread post by **GymChick** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 1:27 pm

I don't really watch Julie and Landon to have an opinion on them

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Unread post by **Nini12** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:12 pm

IMO it has to do with their personality and how they planned their lifes, it's hard to compare but E&J and Beau&Emily are the ones who have more things in common, they both have 2 kids who are around the same age*, I don't know if Emily is a SAHM like Ellie and Beau has vlogged about going out of town because of his work.
Also, I think that the Griffiths were raised this way, they expect the older ones to be more mature, it's like how Bonnie treats Olivia and how Ellie treats Jackson since Calvin was born, and if you watch the Shaytards, just like Gavin and Avia always have to help their mum with the youngest.

*I know Kate is 1 1/2 years older that Jackson

Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:44 pm

I think some people just have more contented personalities. Bonnie said in a video once that her motto is that contentment = happiness. Joel and Bonnie bought that house when it was old and junky when they were newlyweds, and have very slowly renovated it. From what they have said they have no plans to leave it. I think that's admirable in our society where everyone is always wanting bigger and better.

Unread post by **pllfan5** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:09 pm

Bonnie> Ellie. I like Bonnie, cannot stand Ellie at all. She has a lot of maturing to do

Unread post by **Cgl33** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:15 pm

Bonnie is more relatable to me, personally. She seems more confident and content. Ellie is annoying because of her immaturity. I think it's also because she's the youngest and needs attention.

Unread post by **HelloSweetie** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:59 pm

I think where you are in life has a lot to do with how you view things. I know many younger people don't like Bonnie, and I partly think it's because she lifts the veil on marriage and parenting and shows the dirtier less romantic side of it. I can see how you would be more drawn to the perfect life E&J and B&M appear to have. More glitz, glamour, travel, a husband that stays home, etc. You know, the dreamy romance stuff.

This is why I think Bonnie has a more adult following than E&J. They can relate to her, whereas the younger audience looks at E&J and sees "life goals" without realizing they aren't seeing the full picture at all.

Unread post by **GymChick** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:59 pm

HelloSweetie1 wrote:I think where you are in life has a lot to do with how you view things. I know many younger people don't like Bonnie, and I partly think it's because she lifts the veil on marriage and parenting and shows the dirtier less romantic side of it. I can see how you would be more drawn to the perfect life E&J and B&M appear to have. More glitz, glamour, travel, a husband that stays home, etc. You know, the dreamy romance stuff.

This is why I think Bonnie has a more adult following than E&J. They can relate to her, whereas the younger audience looks at E&J and sees "life goals" without realizing they aren't seeing the full picture at all.

Agreed. Persona story warning : I still think back to when Bonnie told Joel he was having cereal for dinner and people on the boards were bashing her. I was like

I totally tell my husband to fend for himself on the hard days. And usually my husband agrees that my job taking care of a colic baby at the time was more stressful then his labour trades job.

And while people were criticizing Bonnie for that Ellie was being praised for being a SAHM with hubby who waits on her every need.

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Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:09 pm

It's definitely a relatable thing to me. Like I've said before, I just can't empathize with Ellie when she says she's exhausted or anything like that. In fact when I hear her do it, it starts to annoy the life out of me. Personal sorry, my fiance works 7 days, 70 hours a week this time of year. When I hear a ytmom whine about their life I want to scream at them. Sorry. Your life isn't hard. You can leave the kids with your husband or mom whenever you want. Also it seems like Bonnie acknowledges so much more in life than Ellie does and doesn't try to put on some fake super happy persona constantly.

Unread post by **sunflower928** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 8:33 pm

I agree about Ellie being immature. But for some reason Ruby comes off as immature to me. She seems needy for attention just like Ellie. Her thumbnails are almost always her making a dumb face. I just can't stand her. And ellie bugs a little bit. I like Julie so far, I think I need to warm up to London though and of course I love Bonnie, and I'm in different towards Beau and Emily.

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Unread post by **HelloSweetie** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:39 pm

sunflower928 wrote:I agree about Ellie being immature. But for some reason Ruby comes off as immature to me. She seems needy for attention just like Ellie. Her thumbnails are almost always her making a dumb face. I just can't stand her. And ellie bugs a little bit. I like Julie so far, I think I need to warm up to London though and of course I love Bonnie, and I'm in different towards Beau and Emily.

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Part of me wonders if Ruby isn't going through some sort of mid-life crisis. Any other time she would have been pregnant again by now right? Or would have a new baby?

I don't see it as immature exactly, but I agree there's something weird there. She also strikes me as being more religious if that makes sense?

Unread post by **alym0326** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:23 pm

Personally, I LOVE the life that Bonnie has, with their kids and a house and their relationship. Just cannot STAND her lack of safety, it genuinely infuriates me and makes me worried for the kids... I would much rather a helicopter parent over a parent who doesn't give a crap about safety. I don't think Bonnie 'doesn't give a crap' but I think she's pretty close to it. While Ellie on the other hand, can come off more cold when she is trying to be safe, I genuinely like that she is much safer than Bonnie.

For example, a lot of people disliked and were mad that Ellie told Boston not to kiss Calvin after thanksgiving when everyone was sick (while also saying they hope the kids stay away from Lincoln... but that's besides the point...) and thought it was rude.

Bonnie on the other hand let Boston drink out of the milk jug while they were sick, and adding "he's going to get everyone sick" and laughing it off. That's not the most severe in terms of her safety obviously, it's just a comparison to sickness and being safe with young ones between bonnie and ellie. It's just frustrating to see someone be so careless with their kids when it comes to safety.

Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:54 pm

^^^^^ I see what you're saying. A few of us are reformed helicopter parents for a reason. There needs to be a balance. The future will be much easier for a bold and confident kid like Boston, than it likely will a shy and timid kid like Jackson. If Ellie hovers over him too much, it will effect his confidence. I was a helicopter parent, and I won't make that mistake again. It is definitely possible to be too protective, and if Bonnie protected her kids from half the stuff she gets called out about, then it would be a full time job. It's just not realistic IMO.

About the sickness... we can only guess the Ellie thing was so Calvin wouldn't get sick though. She doesn't seem to let the kids play with him ever, so it's really hard to say. I completely agree about the keeping germs away thing, but what I had a problem with was her touching his face when she talked to him. It seemed overly stern to me. Like something a of why would do if they are quietly conveying to their child in a public place that they are in big trouble when they get home. KWIM? He's 2. If she had a kinder look on her face I might read it different, but a stern look and the touch to his face made it appear he was in trouble.

Unread post by **alym0326** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 12:11 am

HelloSweetie1 wrote:^^^^^ I see what you're saying. A few of us are reformed helicopter parents for a reason. There needs to be a balance. The future will be much easier for a bold and confident kid like Boston, than it likely will a shy and timid kid like Jackson. If Ellie hovers over him too much, it will effect his confidence. I was a helicopter parent, and I won't make that mistake again. It is definitely possible to be too protective, and if Bonnie protected her kids from half the stuff she gets called out about, then it would be a full time job. It's just not realistic IMO.

About the sickness... we can only guess the Ellie thing was so Calvin wouldn't get sick though. She doesn't seem to let the kids play with him ever, so it's really hard to say. I completely agree about the keeping germs away thing, but what I had a problem with was her touching his face when she talked to him. It seemed overly stern to me. Like something a of why would do if they are quietly conveying to their child in a public place that they are in big trouble when they get home. KWIM? He's 2. If she had a kinder look on her face I might read it different, but a stern look and the touch to his face made it appear he was in trouble.

In my opinion, being a parent IS a full time job. I don't think it's unrealistic to expect her to not let her 2 year old play in the front yard, unsupervised... or to not let her child PLAY with scissors, unsupervised. THOSE are my two main issues regarding Bonnie's lack of safety. Personally, I don't consider either of those things unrealistic.

Also, they have shown, Olivia, Boston and Cody holding Calvin. I wouldn't say that she doesn't let the kids play with them because I've seen Jackson playing with him multiple times. If we're guessing that it might not have been so that Calvin wouldn't get sick, I'm gonna have to guess that it's possible that Ellie had previously told Boston not to kiss Cal, and when he did it again... it resulted in her having to be stern about it. Which I personally think is fine. We can agree to disagree, but I didn't think it was overly stern, I would have done the same thing if it was early in the morning, and everyone was sick, including myself. I'm not cheery AT all when I'm sick, even to children.

Sat Dec 12, 2015 12:35 am

^^^^ fair enough. It's possible the Griffiths are close enough to discipline one another's children in a stern manner like that. They are ok with sharing BFing, so you never know.

Yes parenting is a full time job, no it's not possible to watch kids 100% of the time. Not when you have a husband that works.

And Ellie picks and chooses her safety. She's no helicopter parent when it comes to some things. Many people would question letting Jackson play alone in the front area alone. He's a happy, trusting kid. He'd go with anyone! If someone really wanted to find their home, the info is out there. Ellie won't stay alone for that reason, right? But Jackson can play alone. He's not even 2, and shouldn't be playing outside alone period. Not to mention not seeming concerned with the rocks around Cal or leaving him in the Bumbo unattended on the counter.

My point is myself and other Bonnie fans do largely acknowledge the issues we feel are definite black/white safety issues. At the same time, there are a ton that we think are incredibly nitpicky, and maybe something you have to be a parent to understand. Sometimes it seems like the Ellie side focuses on Bonnie's lack of safety, but has blinders on when it comes to Ellie. Neither sister is killing it in terms of safety IMO. I would venture it's a result of how they were raised, and that Ruby is likely the same with her kids.

Unread post by **alym0326** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 12:49 am

HelloSweetie1 wrote:^^^^ fair enough. It's possible the Griffiths are close enough to discipline one another's children in a stern manner like that. They are ok with sharing BFing, so you never know.

Yes parenting is a full time job, no it's not possible to watch kids 100% of the time. Not when you have a husband that works.

And Ellie picks and chooses her safety. She's no helicopter parent when it comes to some things. Many people would question letting Jackson play alone in the front area alone. He's a happy, trusting kid. He'd go with anyone! If someone really wanted to find their home, the info is out there. Ellie won't stay alone for that reason, right? But Jackson can play alone. He's not even 2, and shouldn't be playing outside alone period. Not to mention not seeming concerned with the rocks around Cal or leaving him in the Bumbo unattended on the counter.

My point is myself and other Bonnie fans do largely acknowledge the issues we feel are definite black/white safety issues. At the same time, there are a ton that we think are incredibly nitpicky, and maybe something you have to be a parent to understand. Sometimes it seems like the Ellie side focuses on Bonnie's lack of safety, but has blinders on when it comes to Ellie. Neither sister is killing it in terms of safety IMO. I would venture it's a result of how they were raised, and that Ruby is likely the same with her kids.

If there was a person I barely knew around my child and I knew they were sick I would have done the same thing, I don't think you need to be close to tell a child not to do something to your child.

Also with Ellie letting Jackson outside alone, I've only seen that happen 2-3 times, and they had their front door open and were in either the living room or kitchen. While I don't like that Ellie does that at all, I still think it's unsafe. I think that's MUCH better than outside in a neighbourhood near a road with the door.

And the rocks thing bothers me so much, especially when they filmed the rocks in Cal's bed; that was absolutely RIDICULOUS and unsafe.

I respectfully disagree, I don't think there's anything nitpicky regarding letting your child be unsupervised with scissors. UNLESS they know how to use them properly, if that is the case then it is fine to leave for a moment to retrieve something like we saw Bonnie do a few days ago. But Boston doesn't know how to use them, he's plays with them. I also don't think there's anything nitpicky about letting your child in the front yard unsupervised.

We can agree to disagree, considering I think a lot of things people say about Ellie is nitpicky.

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Unread post by **HelloSweetie** » Sat Dec 12, 2015 1:05 am

(Not quoting for length)

Alym, you're in childcare right? You can sternly talk to the children sure, but can you do so while holding their face? I doubt it. Why? Because it seems OTT and unnecessary. That's why I say maybe it's ok for Ellie because they are close. I wouldn't be ok with it. For reference though, would you be ok with just anyone speaking that way to your child?

About the scissors though, you're missing the reason why other mothers got offended. He GOT the scissors, Bonnie didn't say she left him playing with them. You're assuming too much. He could have climbed up on the counter for all we know. Yes, she shouldn't have left then there (more assumption) but maybe Joel did, or Olivia? We don't know. Blaming Bonnie is a bit much.

Aren't people always saying we can't judge Ellie based on what we don't see? That that's nitpicky? We didn't see anything to do with the scissors, so we shouldn't assume it's Bonnie's fault.

I understand what you're saying though. I just see it different based on my own experience I guess. That's my few posts of debate, moving on for the night...But yep, we definitely can agree to disagree