8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

[boychik0830]

The woman who refuses to help her children with school work, who doesn’t even check to see if they have done their homework, wants to homeschool all her kids? Ahahahahaha I mean, it doesn’t really matter if the girls are smart and just barely graduate, they are only destined to find a husband at 20 and pop out a bunch of kids.

I find this really funny as she wants to punish her kids when they get a c or lower but won't help them with school at all. Eve needs help staying focused on her school work since she gets distracted easily but ruby won't do anything about it. If ruby doesn't want to teach them then why doesn't she send everyone to a public school. Probably because they don't teach them anything about mormon stuff and that is more important than any other topic like English or math. This could also be hsr way of punishing the kids because they couldn't go back to their private school this year. It seems whenever ruby punishes the kids for something she doesn't always follow through with it like the electronics and give it back because she is tired of enforcing the rules.

[Josette]

So the cousins come over and it's all about 'food and fun', while Ruby's own kids are sleeping on the floor, not allowed to have friends, not allowed to have more than one drumstick for dinner, and not entitled to entertainment. Wonder what Chad thinks of her telling Boston, "I love you like my own son." Also, where are all the older kids? Lately she's just been showing a lot of Eve and Russell and her and Kevin going all over the place and doing fun things. I guess if the other kids don't want to come that's ok, but I would really like to see Kevin and Ruby taking just the older kids out for a little treat and some quality time. If the little kids get to go to an aquatic park and get ice cream and go to Kevin's workplace, the older kids should get a special day, too.

It's funny you say this, cause I thought the same thing. Food and entertainment when cousins are there, no wonder the Franke kids like it. However, the Hoellein boys like it, cause they are treated the same way at home as the Franke kids. Very little to eat, and when they get food, it's so random, like the other night Bonnie showed she made squash and some other veggie with it, and I thought, yum, yum, that's all they get too. Or, they get the same soup for 4 nights, til it's all gone; or 1/2 cup of yogurt with honey for breakfast.

I think in part the Hoellein boys like it because unlike their mother, Aunt Ruby seldom serves veggies, something which young children often dislike. And I don't think for a second that Lincoln really like that protein shake his mom made, but was just saying that to please her.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

Random follow-up discovery on Ruby implying she nearly killed Shari at 3 months. I found a video on Shari's channel where Ruby clarifies that she had actually taken Shari to the doctor 2 days in a row and they told her she essentially had a minor virus. So Ruby did seek medical care. But at the end of the second night, when Shari was sicker than ever, Ruby refused to take her back in again until the next day. Kevin told her she could stay home and go to bed but he was taking the baby to the hospital. Ruby said she complained that they were overreacting and didn't want to get laughed at because "they can't take care of a kid with a cold". Shari was rushed directly into emergency surgery and doctors told them to prepare themselves that she might not make it.

Even if Ruby and/or Kevin hadn't taken Shari in, that is understandable based on the hack opinions of whatever doctors Ruby saw, and I don't think they would have received any blame (back then) had Shari passed. So why would a mother so eagerly tell this specific narrative of how she nearly prevented her baby from receiving life saving emergency surgery, ironically over selfish concerns of her reputation as a mother amongst strangers? Anyone with human emotions should feel regret/anger/shame/sadness/etc. SOMETHING, and try to avoid the discomfort of retelling the story. For her, it is simply an entertaining anecdote she tells at parties and for millions of kids on the internet. And then she still failed to ever be able to identify what a creature suffering untold pain looks like over the next 17 years.

At least with Russell's femur, she seemed to have a twinge of "something" when recalling how the lack of care delayed him for years. Perhaps regret, simply because she had to carry him around for several years and that was physically taxing on her. I don't think she can even comprehend the concept of empathy, or the fact that every time she joyfully talks about medical negligence of her kids, complete strangers feel all the uncomfortable emotions she should be feeling herself. After 6 kids, how can a person still be completely unable to detect when her children are in excruciating pain, or in Shari's case, literally dying from the inside out?

I once risked interjecting myself into my sister's marriage, to advocate for their dog who I could tell was "not just sick" and needed to get the testing done they were arguing over (he died 2 weeks later but they were able to prepare for it and make him comfortable). A dog. These are kids! Kevin never sees his kids and he knew Shari was dying. Ruby must be damaged well beyond even my estimation.

Again, I wonder what possibly happened to those Griffiths girls growing up?

[Josette]

Random follow-up discovery on Ruby implying she nearly killed Shari at 3 months. I found a video on Shari's channel where Ruby clarifies that she had actually taken Shari to the doctor 2 days in a row and they told her she essentially had a minor virus. So Ruby did seek medical care. But at the end of the second night, when Shari was sicker than ever, Ruby refused to take her back in again until the next day. Kevin told her she could stay home and go to bed but he was taking the baby to the hospital. Ruby said she complained that they were overreacting and didn't want to get laughed at because "they can't take care of a kid with a cold". Shari was rushed directly into emergency surgery and doctors told them to prepare themselves that she might not make it.

Even if Ruby and/or Kevin hadn't taken Shari in, that is understandable based on the hack opinions of whatever doctors Ruby saw, and I don't think they would have received any blame (back then) had Shari passed. So why would a mother so eagerly tell this specific narrative of how she nearly prevented her baby from receiving life saving emergency surgery, ironically over selfish concerns of her reputation as a mother amongst strangers? Anyone with human emotions should feel regret/anger/shame/sadness/etc. SOMETHING, and try to avoid the discomfort of retelling the story. For her, it is simply an entertaining anecdote she tells at parties and for millions of kids on the internet. And then she still failed to ever be able to identify what a creature suffering untold pain looks like over the next 17 years.

At least with Russell's femur, she seemed to have a twinge of "something" when recalling how the lack of care delayed him for years. Perhaps regret, simply because she had to carry him around for several years and that was physically taxing on her. I don't think she can even comprehend the concept of empathy, or the fact that every time she joyfully talks about medical negligence of her kids, complete strangers feel all the uncomfortable emotions she should be feeling herself. After 6 kids, how can a person still be completely unable to detect when her children are in excruciating pain, or in Shari's case, literally dying from the inside out?

I once risked interjecting myself into my sister's marriage, to advocate for their dog who I could tell was "not just sick" and needed to get the testing done they were arguing over (he died 2 weeks later but they were able to prepare for it and make him comfortable). A dog. These are kids! Kevin never sees his kids and he knew Shari was dying. Ruby must be damaged well beyond even my estimation.

Again, I wonder what possibly happened to those Griffiths girls growing up?

Simply put, they had Chad and Jennifer as parents. Chad is just straight up a tyrant and they both have a history of neglect. When Beau's daughter, Kate, suffered two broken arms back in July it was because of Beau behavior. When Bonnie was telling her kids about Cousin Kate's broken arms she regaled them with a story about how she broke an arm as a child and her parents didn't believe her so they didn't take her to a doctor for awhile. Bonnie laughed about this as though not getting a child necessary medical treatment was funny.

Rotten apple trees produce rotten apples.

[nesland300]

Funny how Ruby thinks she’s in a place to be able to make a video giving pantry cleaning advice when her pantry needed a multi-day, take everything out and start again, complete do-over cleaning and reorganization after having that house for not even a year.

[sparklypony]

It really bothered me how she kept calling the pantry a closet ...

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[rulatows000]

Her pantry is so weird. She's got enormous buckets of pancake mix, flour, and containers of cornmeal and spices, but no ready made food. Besides cereal and bread, it didn't look like she had any actual snacks in there for the kids. Did she throw away all the chips, slim jims, etc, that were in there in the beginning, because the end product just looked like an assortment of mixes and spices to make food. No snacks that the kids can just go in there and grab. And why won't she buy fruit snacks for Chad? She told him in the other vlog that it's a little kids snack. What? Literally everyone eats fruit snacks. I always thought it was so weird when the kids would come home from school and she'd have some little platter of cauliflower and cheese or something for their snack. I never see the kids just munching on chips or beef sticks or anything, or even munching on something healthier like veggies or a granola bar. So not only does she give them tiny portions, but they never have anything to snack on besides pieces of bread or whatever minuscule snack Ruby decides to make.

[emma2948]

Her pantry is so weird. She's got enormous buckets of pancake mix, flour, and containers of cornmeal and spices, but no ready made food. Besides cereal and bread, it didn't look like she had any actual snacks in there for the kids. Did she throw away all the chips, slim jims, etc, that were in there in the beginning, because the end product just looked like an assortment of mixes and spices to make food. No snacks that the kids can just go in there and grab. And why won't she buy fruit snacks for Chad? She told him in the other vlog that it's a little kids snack. What? Literally everyone eats fruit snacks. I always thought it was so weird when the kids would come home from school and she'd have some little platter of cauliflower and cheese or something for their snack. I never see the kids just munching on chips or beef sticks or anything, or even munching on something healthier like veggies or a granola bar. So not only does she give them tiny portions, but they never have anything to snack on besides pieces of bread or whatever minuscule snack Ruby decides to make.

I honestly think these kids have been denied proper food/ proper portions for so long that they might not even get "hungry" as often anymore. Their bodies have gotten so used to being fed tiny portions of food for so long that it no longer bothers them. I mean, the only time we really see them eating "enough" is when they go out and get fast food, which is also not a good thing, but we all know Ruby doesn't care enough to cook more as it would turn her into #victimmom. My cousins used to barely eat. All just because their own mom never got enough food for the entire week that they started to eat less food and less frequently. And the more they did this, the more they got used to it. Eventually, they came over to sleepover at our house and we saw how little they were eating and we had to step in and tell our aunt and uncle to do something about it.

[Happy+Charlie]

Was her pantry reorg sponsored? I hope not.

[nesland300]

Was her pantry reorg sponsored? I hope not.

I don't think so. A few days ago someone pointed out that these cleaning videos she's been doing are probably a sort of audition for getting back into sponsorships. Something like "hey look household item companies, we're sponsorable!" Or trying to hook in some company that isn't aware of the controversy yet.

[YTIG60]

Was her pantry reorg sponsored? I hope not.

I don't think so. A few days ago someone pointed out that these cleaning videos she's been doing are probably a sort of audition for getting back into sponsorships. Something like "hey look household item companies, we're sponsorable!" Or trying to hook in some company that isn't aware of the controversy yet.

I bet sponsors will stay away for a while.
I don't think she has given up on being a Life Coach. Ruby might want to work on herself in the areas of Responsibility, Humility, and Honesty at this retreat.

8passengers Join us at a Women’s Retreat! We will be learning about body image, what is love vs. lust, parenting, self-care, boundaries with love and much more! The link to sign up is in my bio. I hope you come hang out with us
ConneXions
•Transforming lives
•Responsibility, Humility, and Honesty
|Founder: Jodi Hildebrandt, MSLPC and Life Coach

[YTIG60]

Random follow-up discovery on Ruby implying she nearly killed Shari at 3 months. I found a video on Shari's channel where Ruby clarifies that she had actually taken Shari to the doctor 2 days in a row and they told her she essentially had a minor virus. So Ruby did seek medical care. But at the end of the second night, when Shari was sicker than ever, Ruby refused to take her back in again until the next day. Kevin told her she could stay home and go to bed but he was taking the baby to the hospital. Ruby said she complained that they were overreacting and didn't want to get laughed at because "they can't take care of a kid with a cold". Shari was rushed directly into emergency surgery and doctors told them to prepare themselves that she might not make it.

I once risked interjecting myself into my sister's marriage, to advocate for their dog who I could tell was "not just sick" and needed to get the testing done they were arguing over (he died 2 weeks later but they were able to prepare for it and make him comfortable). A dog. These are kids! Kevin never sees his kids and he knew Shari was dying. Ruby must be damaged well beyond even my estimation.

Again, I wonder what possibly happened to those Griffiths girls growing up?

Is Shari as smart as she portrays. Her AP scores were just ok. I'm always suspicious when students start question their test taking skills. It looks like she is able apply only one or two of her AP classes towards her college credits. Should she have been taking AP classes to begin with?

Is this what surgery Shari had that you referred to in the video? What vlog was this where Ruby downplayed this incident? I can only image how fussy a baby would be due to pain with this intestinal problem.

Shari: I had a surgery on my stomach when I was three months old and they had to remove six inches of my intestines because, I think.. I still don't even... I think it's called an intussusception, but It was not fun

[Josette]

Her pantry is so weird. She's got enormous buckets of pancake mix, flour, and containers of cornmeal and spices, but no ready made food. Besides cereal and bread, it didn't look like she had any actual snacks in there for the kids. Did she throw away all the chips, slim jims, etc, that were in there in the beginning, because the end product just looked like an assortment of mixes and spices to make food. No snacks that the kids can just go in there and grab. And why won't she buy fruit snacks for Chad? She told him in the other vlog that it's a little kids snack. What? Literally everyone eats fruit snacks. I always thought it was so weird when the kids would come home from school and she'd have some little platter of cauliflower and cheese or something for their snack. I never see the kids just munching on chips or beef sticks or anything, or even munching on something healthier like veggies or a granola bar. So not only does she give them tiny portions, but they never have anything to snack on besides pieces of bread or whatever minuscule snack Ruby decides to make.

I honestly think these kids have been denied proper food/ proper portions for so long that they might not even get "hungry" as often anymore. Their bodies have gotten so used to being fed tiny portions of food for so long that it no longer bothers them. I mean, the only time we really see them eating "enough" is when they go out and get fast food, which is also not a good thing, but we all know Ruby doesn't care enough to cook more as it would turn her into #victimmom. My cousins used to barely eat. All just because their own mom never got enough food for the entire week that they started to eat less food and less frequently. And the more they did this, the more they got used to it. Eventually, they came over to sleepover at our house and we saw how little they were eating and we had to step in and tell our aunt and uncle to do something about it.

My family wasn't exactly poor, but close to it growing up, but my folks always made certain my sister and I were fed properly 3 times a day. The only times I can recall missing a meal is if my sister or I were sick and weren't up to eating. We had an old chest freezer that was full of meat (folks went in half with a relative to buy an entire beef), we'd go to U-pick places for stawberries, ear corn, green beans and apples that were processed in various ways for future use. We bought live chickens from a former neighbor and slaughtered them in our back yard. We also had a garden where we grew lettuce, green onions and tomatoes, plus there was a small grape trellis in the back yard that (previous owner had planted the grapes), so mom made homemade grape juice (Tasted like Welch's white grape juice).

They also had a several fights with some of our relatives who were of the mindset that adults (men) ate first, and only after they had eaten their fill could the women and children eat what was left. Not surprisingly, these relatives' children were all underweight and often sick because they were not getting the nutrition they needed. On the rare occasions these relatives were invited to our place for a cook out or reunion they'd try to impose their rules on all the women & children present and my folks just wouldn't tolerate that. Poor kids must have thought they were in heaven with no restrictions on eating as much as they wanted, but their jackhole parents just sulked & pouted because they didn't get their way. FWIW, the only reason my folks invited these relatives in the first place was because of the kids.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

Random follow-up discovery on Ruby implying she nearly killed Shari at 3 months. I found a video on Shari's channel where Ruby clarifies that she had actually taken Shari to the doctor 2 days in a row and they told her she essentially had a minor virus. So Ruby did seek medical care. But at the end of the second night, when Shari was sicker than ever, Ruby refused to take her back in again until the next day. Kevin told her she could stay home and go to bed but he was taking the baby to the hospital. Ruby said she complained that they were overreacting and didn't want to get laughed at because "they can't take care of a kid with a cold". Shari was rushed directly into emergency surgery and doctors told them to prepare themselves that she might not make it.

I once risked interjecting myself into my sister's marriage, to advocate for their dog who I could tell was "not just sick" and needed to get the testing done they were arguing over (he died 2 weeks later but they were able to prepare for it and make him comfortable). A dog. These are kids! Kevin never sees his kids and he knew Shari was dying. Ruby must be damaged well beyond even my estimation.

Again, I wonder what possibly happened to those Griffiths girls growing up?

Is Shari as smart as she portrays. Her AP scores were just ok. I'm always suspicious when students start question their test taking skills. It looks like she is able apply only one or two of her AP classes towards her college credits. Should she have been taking AP classes to begin with?

Is this what surgery Shari had that you referred to in the video? What vlog was this where Ruby downplayed this incident? I can only image how fussy a baby would be due to pain with this intestinal problem.

Shari: I had a surgery on my stomach when I was three months old and they had to remove six inches of my intestines because, I think.. I still don't even... I think it's called an intussusception, but It was not fun

I don't believe she is as smart as she portrays. She simply worked really hard at school to achieve grade level status quo, which is honestly impressive with the handicap of her family. Any standardized test has also suggested she is a run-of-the-mill decent student. If you watch back to the beginning, you can see the development of her parents push to make her more "scholarly", making fun of her romance novel obsession and pressuring her to read "quality" books. That is when she started lying about reading a novel every day, and "interest" in law books, etc.. I know people are upset at how she seemingly just stopped caring about school last year, but she must have been putting so much energy into pretending to be this Harvard bound law scholar when all she wanted to do was pump some iron and read a raunchy sex book. Granted I suspect she will eventually move on from this exercise kick as well, and only started it for the attention/approval of Dad and "coach". I think it was just a suitable replacement for a her previous "approval scheme" that must have been boring and emotionally exhausting, needing to abandon it for her own mental health.

Girls raised by narcissistic moms often find themselves with similar struggles. If you look up "signs you have a narcissistic daughter" on YT, it specifies that the only reason they perform in school is for the attention/approval of the teachers/parents. There is no internal reason for achievement. So it would make sense that once the school closed for COVID, she no longer felt the rush of the teacher's attention and literally chucked it all away. That video is enlightening, and seems to describe Shari exceptionally well. Including the fact that she has to always be recognized for her "good deeds", which is why she likely is always butting in, talking over her siblings taking credit for ideas. Or that all criticism/advise is rejected, etc.

I do think anyone should take AP classes if they can keep up. You don't have to be the best. I didn't even take the AP tests, because most colleges don't accept the scores for credit, so it is wasted money and added stress. I also believe some people genuinely don't test well (I don't), but test prep seemed to be Shari's bread and butter, copying her notes over and over again and memorizing. AP Chem is no joke though, and memorizing will not get you through it. Since she struggles with grade level math, I think AP Chem is just beyond her ability. Yet she failed every test and still walked away with an A, because....private school? Top tier colleges will still expect you to take AP classes though, to indicate your motivation and ability to manage difficult coursework.

And yes, the 3 mo old surgery where "she almost died" was the Intussusception. It seems to be a favorite family story in vlogs which is disturbing. Here is the one I was referencing:

[Happy+Charlie]

Her pantry is so weird. She's got enormous buckets of pancake mix, flour, and containers of cornmeal and spices, but no ready made food. Besides cereal and bread, it didn't look like she had any actual snacks in there for the kids. Did she throw away all the chips, slim jims, etc, that were in there in the beginning, because the end product just looked like an assortment of mixes and spices to make food. No snacks that the kids can just go in there and grab. And why won't she buy fruit snacks for Chad? She told him in the other vlog that it's a little kids snack. What? Literally everyone eats fruit snacks. I always thought it was so weird when the kids would come home from school and she'd have some little platter of cauliflower and cheese or something for their snack. I never see the kids just munching on chips or beef sticks or anything, or even munching on something healthier like veggies or a granola bar. So not only does she give them tiny portions, but they never have anything to snack on besides pieces of bread or whatever minuscule snack Ruby decides to make.

I honestly think these kids have been denied proper food/ proper portions for so long that they might not even get "hungry" as often anymore. Their bodies have gotten so used to being fed tiny portions of food for so long that it no longer bothers them. I mean, the only time we really see them eating "enough" is when they go out and get fast food, which is also not a good thing, but we all know Ruby doesn't care enough to cook more as it would turn her into #victimmom. My cousins used to barely eat. All just because their own mom never got enough food for the entire week that they started to eat less food and less frequently. And the more they did this, the more they got used to it. Eventually, they came over to sleepover at our house and we saw how little they were eating and we had to step in and tell our aunt and uncle to do something about it.

My family wasn't exactly poor, but close to it growing up, but my folks always made certain my sister and I were fed properly 3 times a day. The only times I can recall missing a meal is if my sister or I were sick and weren't up to eating. We had an old chest freezer that was full of meat (folks went in half with a relative to buy an entire beef), we'd go to U-pick places for stawberries, ear corn, green beans and apples that were processed in various ways for future use. We bought live chickens from a former neighbor and slaughtered them in our back yard. We also had a garden where we grew lettuce, green onions and tomatoes, plus there was a small grape trellis in the back yard that (previous owner had planted the grapes), so mom made homemade grape juice (Tasted like Welch's white grape juice).

They also had a several fights with some of our relatives who were of the mindset that adults (men) ate first, and only after they had eaten their fill could the women and children eat what was left. Not surprisingly, these relatives' children were all underweight and often sick because they were not getting the nutrition they needed. On the rare occasions these relatives were invited to our place for a cook out or reunion they'd try to impose their rules on all the women & children present and my folks just wouldn't tolerate that. Poor kids must have thought they were in heaven with no restrictions on eating as much as they wanted, but their jackhole parents just sulked & pouted because they didn't get their way. FWIW, the only reason my folks invited these relatives in the first place was because of the kids.

The "adults eat first," and kids get what's left falls perfectly in line with the Griffith mind set. How many times have we heard Jennifer say, "it's too good for the kids to have," I think one of the daughters has said it too. They seriously seem to think kids are beneath them, and adults are first and most important. Most other parents put their children's well-being and needs first, not this bunch as we've seen too many times by Ruby, Bonnie and Ellie.

[mix10]

They are seriously out here inviting people to a women’s retreat during a pandemic?? I guess knowing a Ruby it’s not surprising, but still...

[CognitiveDissonance]

I tend to give Shari a massive break when it comes to her behavior. For so many years, especially in the beginning videos you could see Shari and Ruby just clashing/rubbing each other the wrong way. It really seemed like Shari wanted nothing to do with her mom. Shari seemed like she was hungry all the time and always just as assumed child caregiver for Ruby. Regardless if her grades are not perfect A's, I do believe that she is the smartest one in the house (yes including Kevin).

I think we don't see her "boyfriend" or "school friends" any more is that she flat out refuses to play that game with Ruby. She used to give her mom some footage of her evenings out, but that stopped before the move. I think Shari is full into her exercise addiction that she can share with her dad away from the house.

If Ruby chooses to homeschool but doesn't put Shari back into private school for her senior year, I can see her enrolling herself at the local high school. She's not about to get trapped into Ruby's Flower's in the Attic: Homeschool 2020 bc she will end up as primary teacher and she does not have the patience for that. Ruby needs to help Russell with his reading and Ruby needs to get Abby caught up with math. It would be nice to see Kevin participate, but I don't see that happening. This is Not Shari's responsibility. This family has resources more than most.

[CognitiveDissonance]

I tend to give Shari a massive break when it comes to her behavior. For so many years, especially in the beginning videos you could see Shari and Ruby just clashing/rubbing each other the wrong way. It really seemed like Shari wanted nothing to do with her mom. Shari seemed like she was hungry all the time and always just as assumed child caregiver for Ruby. Regardless if her grades are not perfect A's, I do believe that she is the smartest one in the house (yes including Kevin).

I think we don't see her "boyfriend" or "school friends" any more is that she flat out refuses to play that game with Ruby. She used to give her mom some footage of her evenings out, but that stopped before the move. I think Shari is full into her exercise addiction that she can share with her dad away from the house.

If Ruby chooses to homeschool but doesn't put Shari back into private school for her senior year, I can see her enrolling herself at the local high school. She's not about to get trapped into Ruby's Flower's in the Attic: Homeschool 2020 bc she will end up as primary teacher and she does not have the patience for that. Ruby needs to help Russell with his reading and Ruby needs to get Abby caught up with math. It would be nice to see Kevin participate, but I don't see that happening. This is Not Shari's responsibility. This family has resources more than most.

[imoverit]

Ruby needs to stop with this forced S-whistling nonsense. I think it's getting worse, it's totally unbearable.

[rdt1004]

Does Chad go to seminary? I know Shari definitely does because she goes to the private Mormon school, but since Chad goes to public school (and maybe just home school now) maybe he doesn’t have to? Just a random thought I had. Sending him to that wilderness camp was probably the worst move if Ruby was trying to make him more pious/religious. That entire time he was gone would’ve been a long break from the daily church indoctrination for teenagers.


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