C&K: The Struggle is Real...ly Hard to Relate (Part 14)

[Boredomatitsfinest]

I've been watching regularly since right before Gaines started walking, so Katie was already at home full time or possibly working at home a bit then. When did she make it clear she wasn't working again? Was this after she quit work or is this just an assumption?

She never said that she WOULDN'T work again, just that she didn't WANT to. I'm pretty sure she's said it multiple times but I think the last time she alluded to it was in the sit down and chat video a few weeks ago. Luke boredmamaneedsdrama said, There is a difference between "I don't want to" and "I never will". Yeah, she should be more than willing to provide for her family, but in her shoes, if I had been living the good lazy life (and no, I'm not saying all SAHMs are lazy) as a stay at home mom for 3 (?) years, I wouldn't want to go back either. I don't even want to go back after a week long vacation. I'll start criticizing her if/when their channel really tanks and she refuses to go back.

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I definitely see and agree with your POV, but that's only if I hadn't worked my ass off for years to get my PhD. If I was in that position, I think that I would have some sort of itch to get back to work. And I don't even mean that in a "Katie should feel the need to provide too" type of way. I mean it like, I think she was, at least at one point, passionate about her work and it brought her joy. I think/hope she would want to go back for herself.

I kind of feel like it's part of the rut that she's stuck in. I think even if she got up, got ready for the day and got dressed for a purpose instead of staying in loungewear all day every day, she would feel so much better. And again, I'm not judging her. Lord knows I love my yoga pants and t-shirts too. But I just think she would benefit from doing more things for herself instead of just catering to the kids/Cullen all day every day - and losing her passion for work might be a result of forgetting to put herself first sometimes.

[marshmallowfluf]

How long did Katie work for, post-PhD? Not very long...right? It just seems kind of odd to me. I would imagine that someone with enough drive and ambition to get their PhD would have just as much passion about the field they were getting it in. I understand that she wants to be home while her kids are little, so why not say, "I have no desire to go back right now."?

I don't mean to sound judgmental at all, I'm just trying to understand it. To me, saying that you have no desire to go back just seems like such a waste in so many ways.

I agree i just don’t understand why you would work so hard for a PhD and then stay at home and not use it. If Cullen was doing youtube AND Katie was working in her field (even just part time) they would be bringing in so much money lol.

[Nini12]

How long did Katie work for, post-PhD? Not very long...right? It just seems kind of odd to me. I would imagine that someone with enough drive and ambition to get their PhD would have just as much passion about the field they were getting it in. I understand that she wants to be home while her kids are little, so why not say, "I have no desire to go back right now."?

I don't mean to sound judgmental at all, I'm just trying to understand it. To me, saying that you have no desire to go back just seems like such a waste in so many ways.

I could be wrong but I think Kelly (Katie’s sister) also has a PhD in something related to education, or at least she has a degree but hasn’t used it much. After hearing her mentioning that on her vlogs I always thought that they went to college just because it was expected from them, not because they wanted to have a career.

[100midas]

I've been watching regularly since right before Gaines started walking, so Katie was already at home full time or possibly working at home a bit then. When did she make it clear she wasn't working again? Was this after she quit work or is this just an assumption?

She never said that she WOULDN'T work again, just that she didn't WANT to. I'm pretty sure she's said it multiple times but I think the last time she alluded to it was in the sit down and chat video a few weeks ago. Luke boredmamaneedsdrama said, There is a difference between "I don't want to" and "I never will". Yeah, she should be more than willing to provide for her family, but in her shoes, if I had been living the good lazy life (and no, I'm not saying all SAHMs are lazy) as a stay at home mom for 3 (?) years, I wouldn't want to go back either. I don't even want to go back after a week long vacation. I'll start criticizing her if/when their channel really tanks and she refuses to go back.

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I definitely see and agree with your POV, but that's only if I hadn't worked my ass off for years to get my PhD. If I was in that position, I think that I would have some sort of itch to get back to work. And I don't even mean that in a "Katie should feel the need to provide too" type of way. I mean it like, I think she was, at least at one point, passionate about her work and it brought her joy. I think/hope she would want to go back for herself.

I kind of feel like it's part of the rut that she's stuck in. I think even if she got up, got ready for the day and got dressed for a purpose instead of staying in loungewear all day every day, she would feel so much better. And again, I'm not judging her. Lord knows I love my yoga pants and t-shirts too. But I just think she would benefit from doing more things for herself instead of just catering to the kids/Cullen all day every day - and losing her passion for work might be a result of forgetting to put herself first sometimes.

No, I think we pretty much agree. I definitely think she's just lost her motivation. I was just saying, after staying home for so long and taking it easy, I can understand why she might not want to go back to work until she has to. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, like you said. And that's probably what's preventing her from seeing the possible benefits of going back to work. She's settled, and it's affected her attitude. Any passion she might have had once is probably forgotten because of all the leisure time she's had. I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing, but I don't think she should necessarily be criticized because of it. It's just how she feels, and everyone feels differently about these types of situations. I will be very disappointed, though, if she makes Cullen go out and do a (probably low paying if he doesn't have any college education) job while she sits on her PhD at home. THAT'S when I'll start judging her.

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[Caisflame]

Wow I wish I didn't have to go to work just because "I don't want to". What a nice thing to be able to do.

[Boredomatitsfinest]

How long did Katie work for, post-PhD? Not very long...right? It just seems kind of odd to me. I would imagine that someone with enough drive and ambition to get their PhD would have just as much passion about the field they were getting it in. I understand that she wants to be home while her kids are little, so why not say, "I have no desire to go back right now."?

I don't mean to sound judgmental at all, I'm just trying to understand it. To me, saying that you have no desire to go back just seems like such a waste in so many ways.

I could be wrong but I think Kelly (Katie’s sister) also has a PhD in something related to education, or at least she has a degree but hasn’t used it much. After hearing her mentioning that on her vlogs I always thought that they went to college just because it was expected from them, not because they wanted to have a career.

Okay yeah, I considered that possibility too, haha. (I have several friends who have done the same, so I realize that's totally plausible.) But if that's the case, why go for a PhD? Maybe getting a degree was expecting of her to some extent, but going above and beyond and not even stopping at a masters, but following through with a PhD? That seems like a personal decision.

[HelloSweetie]

I think Katie would probably go back to work if she had to but I also think she'll quietly resent Cullen a bit for it.

[lmmomSD]

How long did Katie work for, post-PhD? Not very long...right? It just seems kind of odd to me. I would imagine that someone with enough drive and ambition to get their PhD would have just as much passion about the field they were getting it in. I understand that she wants to be home while her kids are little, so why not say, "I have no desire to go back right now."?

I don't mean to sound judgmental at all, I'm just trying to understand it. To me, saying that you have no desire to go back just seems like such a waste in so many ways.

I could be wrong but I think Kelly (Katie’s sister) also has a PhD in something related to education, or at least she has a degree but hasn’t used it much. After hearing her mentioning that on her vlogs I always thought that they went to college just because it was expected from them, not because they wanted to have a career.

College is one thing. But a PhD is a lot of work. I don't understand it either. I get obtaining a college degree for the sake of having it, and for the education. My mom went back to school just to finish her bachelor's degree when I was 16, just to have it. I'm all for education for its own sake. But to do a dissertation and defend it and put all that time and effort in, just to hang it on your wall and not use it, makes no sense to me. Volunteering would be a great use of it if she doesn't want to work. The only times she goes out is for mani-pedis, her hair, or shopping. She has got to wonder why she bothered at least sometimes.

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[Playsinrain]

Katie needs to get over herself. She chose to have two kids, a big new house, and to put all her eggs in YouTube's basket. It's their shared responsibility to care for their children, and if that means she has to get a job then so be it.

I agree, and i would hope Katie would too. I would think much less of her if she put her foot down and "made" cullen get a job to support them when we all know she would be able to provide for them better than he would.

[auntasaurus19]

Annnnd the passive aggressive remarks have begun...

[Caisflame]

Yeah, I haven't watched a vlog since Katie's rant in the comments about Cullen not going with her to urgent care. I'm a little over a minute in and they're both coming off as passive aggressive, especially Katie's little bitchy remark. I'm out!

[lmmomSD]

Any particularly juicy ones for those of us who don't want to give them a view?
It's been almost a week. Did it take him a few days to come up with some choice ones?

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[ewokfan11]

How long did Katie work for, post-PhD? Not very long...right? It just seems kind of odd to me. I would imagine that someone with enough drive and ambition to get their PhD would have just as much passion about the field they were getting it in. I understand that she wants to be home while her kids are little, so why not say, "I have no desire to go back right now."?

I don't mean to sound judgmental at all, I'm just trying to understand it. To me, saying that you have no desire to go back just seems like such a waste in so many ways.

I could be wrong but I think Kelly (Katie’s sister) also has a PhD in something related to education, or at least she has a degree but hasn’t used it much. After hearing her mentioning that on her vlogs I always thought that they went to college just because it was expected from them, not because they wanted to have a career.

Kelley didn't go to grad school. She and Jay have dated since high school, and I think she knew she was marrying a rich future lawyer - so why bother!? Katie, on the other hand, was marrying Cullen - who didn't really even go to college. Katie probably thought she'd need to be the $$$$ maker in the family before YT came along. Cullen really didn't have many career options before YT.

[ballerinamonkey]

I think Katie and her sister were expected to finish college. Also that it has something to so with being able to dip into the trust funds set up by her father. Like if you get your Master's degree you get $$$ vs if you get your PhD you get $$$$$$.

[HelloSweetie]

I may be alone, but I think the trust find value is being grossly overinflated.

[HashtagBlessed]

Katie needs to get over herself. She chose to have two kids, a big new house, and to put all her eggs in YouTube's basket. It's their shared responsibility to care for their children, and if that means she has to get a job then so be it.

Katie knew that Cullen didn't have a Bachelor's degree when she married him. I have no idea whether he's completed come college or an associate's degree at a community college. I'm not being a snob, my husband didn't have his Bachelor's degree when I met him, but I let him know that higher education was important to me for our future together, so he went back to school. It was damn hard to go back as an adult working full-time, but we are better off for it.

Obviously it's a personal financial decision whether the higher or lower earner wants to stay home when the children are little (Even with a PhD, child psychologists generally don't earn the kind of money most people would assume, especially not in the non-profit sector. She was probably making something around $60K right out of school.), but their original set-up made a lot more sense to me than where they are now, with the two of them at home doing YouTube full-time with a stalled channel. They originally arranged for Cullen to stay home when their daughter was born and do YouTube because he had been let go and Katie was going to work part-time with flexible hours. I remember thinking that was such an ideal set-up for a woman with a career and a young child at home. I think earning that PhD and then dropping out of the labor force so quickly and investing everything in YouTube was not wise, and not particularly ethical because their income is now dependent on exploiting their children.

[lmmomSD]

I have often wondered, especially lately since the exploitation has gotten more obvious ("Rushed to the Hospital!" for example) and seeing how Gaines mimics vlogging and tries to be on camera, how Katie justifies it to herself. With her knowledge, she has to know the damage they could be doing to the kids. Even if they do turn out ok, why risk it? They pay a lot of lip service to loving their kids more than anything, (and I don't doubt they do love the kids, don't get me wrong) But this gives the impression that money and an easy lifestyle are more important than the well being of Gaines and Brooks.

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[Playsinrain]

I almost peed my pants laughing at the Cheetah's in Atlanta.. everyone does know about The cheetah! Sure Cullen, you just know about it from your dad.. LOL! I'll admit i've been there, it was a fun damn night too. Gotta hit the Clermont Lounge if you REALLY want some great entertainment though..

[nutbagmcgee]

I’m kind of wondering if Katie is still working part, part time?

[formerctfxcer]

Personal: I am about to graduate with my MS and a few months after that I plan to stay home with my son. My husband, who dropped out one class shy of graduating with his BS, will continue to work to support our family.

We are fine with our 1950s gender roles. It doesn’t matter if you wouldn’t do things the same way.

If I had to go back to work because my husband’s income wasn’t enough or god forbid something happened to him, I would. But that doesn’t mean I desire to be the breadwinner. I got the majority of my MS completed before I was pregnant. Should I (or Katie) not have pursued higher education just because there was a possibility that one day we could become SAHMs?


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